Before we left Texas, I had the opportunity to chaperone an overnight field trip with Oz’s class to Oklahoma City. We had a nice time at the OKC Memorial museum and I was proud of how respectful my group of maniacs were.

From there, we spent the rest of the day and evening at the Science Museum. Yup, night at the museum. Nope, nothing came alive. The museum staff served us hamburgers for dinner with chips and cookies and an everlasting supply of candy bars and chocolate covered granola bars.  Now, by then we were down a maniac because he ended up going back to Texas with a stomach bug. So when I got up to line, I told the man that I wanted his hamburger patty along with mine and no bun. Plus double cheese product of course. He gave me a little bit of a hard time but went ahead and trusted that I wouldn’t cheat him out of a steamed burger patty.

Knowing that protein was going to be in short supply, I brought about two pounds of packaged tuna with me.  Thanks gods. Because those hamburger patties was all she wrote for protein. Now Oz and I had talked about breakfast the next day before leaving. You see, if you put dozens of donuts in front of the Oz man and say have at it, he will. The dude loves donuts. Ask him about a family trip to Seattle a few years ago where we went on Ferry rides, went to a Luau, along with countless other fun things and the first thing he’ll mention is Henri’s donuts. Anyways.

So he limited himself to two donuts and was able to grab two of the 5 apples they put out initially. He also grabbed three cartons of whole milk (without prompting) instead of digging into the sugar water labeled apple juice.

The only other option? You guessed it. Cold cereal. But wait! They had Raisin Bran and Cheerios, that’s healthy right? 

It was pathetic. And pretty gross. Is this seriously the best we can do for our kids? Donuts, apple juice, and cold cereal? You steamed hamburger patties, you can’t steam some sausage patties? As far as that goes, bring back the steamed hamburger patties! One parent actually said, “It’s good they have apple juice so they have something healthy.” Ugh.

Well, I ate my tuna (anything over a pound of tuna in one morning is too much. I know that now) and went on my way. I had also brought some powdered protein so I was good to go until lunch. From breakfast, we walked over to the Oklahoma zoo. It was fun and though it was pretty warm by our standards, it wasn’t too bad overall. After about two hours, we found a little display where you could watch a movie about the pioneers of Oklahoma. This is what became of our maniacs after the carb crash…

What’s funny about this picture is that I had sacked out for a few minutes and jumped up when it got too quiet. I figured they’d taken off on me. Nope. They were cashed. It took me over 20 minutes to get them out of there and back on their feet. Where’s apple juice when you need it?

We have to do better folks. The occasional donut is fine, it’s quite the motivator for my carb king. But seriously, how do school “nutritionists” not know by now that a breakfast of donuts, dry cereal, and apple juice can’t get much worse? Do our kids deserve better? We’ll see.