We’ve been talking a lot this past week on people being sick. Like, all the time (it seems.) I honestly don’t think I’ve been around so many people that get sick so often as I have here in Wisconsin. Children throwing up is common here (common, not normal.) Bigg’s niece and nephews barf all the time. All. The. Time. It’s bizarro world. I can not think of 5 times all three of my kids have thrown up in their lifetimes (the 21 year olds boozin’ it up doesn’t count.)
Zandra puked during the landing into Texas before the first grade. Oz puked on the plane landing from a 7 hour flight home from Maui. I think Za got motion sickness in the car once and puked into our Moo Bag (our Moo Bag was a cow patterned trash thingy from Target much like a lunch bag. We’ve gone through many but they’re always called the Moo Bag.) Zac is made of steel, which is good. OH! Za just puked again last weekend after getting her flu shot but felt fine by evening. So I’ve thought of 3 times, one includes last weekend. There may be more but I don’t think so.
Now, I will say that my Zandra tends to be more sick than the rest of us. She gets run down which annoys the ever livin’ out of me but I whill say since she’s been here, she’s doing better. I suppose I didn’t take awesome care of myself either in my early 20’s, I’m just heartier than her. Heh. But for the most part, we just don’t accept sick. Of course, part of the Grandpa factor plays into that but sick is sick. It just doesn’t roll around here.
Bigg has longtime friends around here who are always sick. And by always, I mean I have never seen them go more than a month without being sick. There’s some kind of sickly, sweaty, pallor that comes over most middle aged cheeseheads here. Too much booze; too many cheesecurds; not enough training; not enough sleep. It’s pretty gross.
So we got to talking last night about someone else we know who has been sick at least 5 times in the past year. 5 times!!! WTF!? Matt’s response was even more surprising to me, he didn’t think that was all that uncommon. In fact, he thought he and I had been sick around 5 times in the last year.
Actually, no we haven’t. Now, I’m not talking about an errant headache or a cough or feeling rundown post wedding and traveling. You take an advil and go about your day. True story. I’m talking about, sick in that you need to call into work; or can’t train; or can’t be around people because your kid(s) has just barfed for the umpteenth time in the past 12 months. Sick. Real sick (by the way, if you’re sick, real sick, don’t train. Your body needs something you’re not giving it and your fellow training partners know that your body has something they DON’T want. Duh.) Sick, you need to go to the doctor sick. And no, don’t be sick for two weeks straight and finally suck it up at 11:00pm at night and head to the ER. That’s not what it’s for. You actually adult up and head to urgent care at 8am. Duh again.
Anyways. I have learned that sick is very subjective and used altogether way too often. You don’t feel perfect? Then you must be sick. And oh by the way, one thing I’ve noticed with weak people is that when they begin to feel “sick”, they throw in the towel and determine that they’re sick.
Not us. Don’t feel 100%? What do we do…more water, better quality food, no hooch, better sleep. Say no to extracurricular activities. Adult up and take care of yourself so you’re feeling fine by morning. No sickness here, not allowed. I’ll fight that shit every way possible. Sick? Nope. Not me. Not gonna happen. Tired? Take a nap. Tummy ache? Plop Plop Fizz Fizz and be on your way.
Ya know what really annoys me about people who are sick all the time? That they never look to the WHY of being sick all the time. As if they are some random victims in this whole health thing. Uhhhhh, what food is constantly making your kid barf? What exercise (COUGHrunnersCOUGH) is breaking you down so much that you can’t find a silly little cough that’s “going around.”
OH! That’s another thing. Stop fucking saying that “it’s going around.” My god, ya know who was immune to “what’s going around?” John Travolta when he was in a bubble. That’s it. We all live out there. If you are around kids that are bringing in, gasp, germs? Guess what, you adult the fuck up and start taking care of yourself. Being some powerless victim while you sugar and booze up to the germs of the world doesn’t make you a victim, it makes you stupid. Congrats, here’s your sign…
Chances are that we will all go out in public at some point. Chances are that we will come into contact with a germ. If your immune system is so FRA-GEE_LAY that you can’t handle that without “catching something” , then you either are diseased or you are not taking care of yourself. Chances are it’s the latter. That’s on you luv. Sorry I’m not sorry.
But 5 times? That’s not normal. It may be common, but it’s not normal. Knock it off. Sick sucks. It’s far easier to head that off at the pass rather than lay in bed and let it take hold of you for a week or more. Just ask sick people who don’t like to be sick. Random acts of disease happen and once they’re better, they will do most anything not to get sick again.
Only one thing could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.
Ralphie as Adult