Why do a majority of parents today want their children to avoid childhood? You know, the ‘kids teasing’, ‘get pushed into a locker now and then’, ‘girls choosing sides against you’, ‘boys not picking you for their pick up game’, ‘teachers being crazy and cruel’, ‘coaches not playing my kid’, ‘mom saying in her lowest, scariest voice “wait ’till your Dad get’s home”, and the plain ‘ol “NO!“
Childhood hurts are unavoidable, why don’t you want your little one to know that? It’s part of life. You cannot shield little Johnny from hurts, but you CAN teach them how to process and move on. Why don’t you want to do that? Why is it easier to play linebacker to their daily goings on than to accept that parts of their blessed little life will be unpleasant?
I remember specifically when someone I know had their first baby, stood on top of the mountain (STS) and decreed that no one will ever tell HER children ‘NO’. Ever! If you do, you won’t be allowed to babysit or be around them. Uhhhh, okay, good luck with that one. Of course that lasted all the way into babyhood but got ditched right around the ‘walking, baby saying NO back to mommy’ stage. But it was an interesting little progression. See, some times, our childhoods hold enough hurt that we believe ALL childhoods should be avoided. Parents assume that any hurt their children feel is a failure on their part to keep little Johnny safe from all the evil in the world.
Well, life sucks sometimes. What happens when little Johnny all of a sudden gets out from under your skirts and has to, oh I dunno, go find a job on their own; make a meal on their own; handle rejection on their own? I personally have heard one mum of a very good man say, “I didn’t want him to do anything he didn’t want to do.” WHAT? Are you F’ing kidding me? What happens to kids who are told that they never have to do what they don’t want to do? They become adults who believe they don’t have to do what they don’t want to and if Obama has his way, you get to pay this spoiled POS $10 an hour. Awesome sauce.
And for those of you want to parent without ever saying NO, ya know, the “Oooooooo we don’t want to do that because…” because if you actually had the nerve to say NO then little Betty might feel bad, uhhhhh, you’re an idiot. You haven’t taught your children how to behave and handle disappointment, you’ve taught them how to manipulate you and those around you to both be a little monster AND get what they want. That’ll be a fun adult. Way to go.
Look, we don’t like when our children hurt. But it’s not our job to help them avoid the pain, that’s childhood. It’s unavoidable. It IS our job to teach them how to get through it and move on without carrying too much baggage into adulthood. But it’ll happen. You trying to bubble wrap them just weakens their ability to deal later in life. Don’t do that. Strength sometimes comes from hard times, no matter how little or how deep, hard times happen. Give them the security that you’ll be there WHEN it does, not the knowledge that you’ll be there to make sure it DOESN’T happen. And if you’re raising little monsters, don’t bring them out around me. Cuz I say NO, sometimes very loudly. If it’s the first they’ve heard that word, it’ll be remembered. True story.
Unfortunately, life is unfair and not all babies are brought into the world with the same amount of anticipation and affection, as others. No matter what anyone says; we are really not all given an equal start at life. And so what must children be made up of, to come into a world like this one? Children must be made up of silk. They must be brought up with a serenity in their skin but a bulletproof strength in their souls. This is the new breed of children. Ones that are soft to the touch but are truly unbreakable. And unbreakable in a beautiful way; not in a lost way.
C Joybell C
tosabarbell 