Sometimes, life is hard. Music helps. At least, it helps me. When I visited family on Maui years ago, my cousin was dating a musician. We were sitting out on the patio and he asked me what song I’d like to hear. I said, somewhere over the rainbow. He says, “tourist, no way.” What I wanted to say was, “hey dipshit, you asked, now sing it. This song means something to me and made me feel better in dark days through life. Dipshit.” But I didn’t. Wish I woulda.
I like that Iz has made it part of Hawaii. It feels good. And today I need it.
I’ve pulled out of my Highland Games competitions for the remainder of the year. Sure, there were only a few but they were biggies and that I’d worked so hard for so long and received such amazing help from so many and, admittedly, I wanted to show them I was listening and I could deliver. Why isn’t a public thing. I’m not hurt and Mike Westerling is hard at work making sure I keep my mind and body as strong as I can right now and I’m so thankful for him.
But God, my heart hurts. I’m a competitor and to know I was so close to have a chance to make a dream come true and now will be sitting it out is devastating to me. And while I won’t pout, I will shed some tears. More tears I should say. I look at my implements in the gym and feel so sorry that I can’t make our hard work together pay off. I don’t know when they’ll be picked up again. It will be a while, that I know.
Anyway, to all of you who have made my season a beautiful one, thank you. Best of luck to everyone for the remainder of their season. Stay healthy and happy.
The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.