Mixed Messenges


I read somewhere that 2017 was designated, The Year of the Woman. First off, uhhhhh, okay. Pandering to trends is the new normal however disgusting it may be but I suppose it sells newspapers and lawds know the papers are having a hard time these days. (By the way, I still love my hometown paper the StarTrib out of Minneapolis/St. Paul. While it definitely has a political slant to it, the slant is as narrow as it probably can be in this day and age and it’s able to discuss a multitude of subjects without bashing political rivals. I had a chance to read a Sunday’s version of The Globe out of Boston and that is one amazing newspaper. The Spotlight section spoke out against the dismal outlook for the mentally ill in Boston and the rest of the paper was so incredibly well written that I lost time and thought I was back in 1980 when print was reliable. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel is crap. Utter and complete crap. It’s good for lighting the charcoal chimney, not much else. Sloppy and misleading writing; lack of fact checking without even a look in the rear view mirror as to whether or not “sources” are trustworthy, and outright lies fill 8 pages of a waste of the 15 minutes it may take someone to read it. Crap. Pretty representative of local papers around the country.)

Anyway. Not the point of today but thanks for letting me get that in.

Women are mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore! Oh wait, time for a selfie…


If ever I came upon this in a globo-gym, I would ask the stupid woman if she were auditioning for Playboy and then tell her she’s doing it wrong because they really just want to see how her Vag photographs. Silly girl.

Millions of women marched on Washington and around the country, sporting their Labia hats (even though they called them Vag hats. Ummmm, maybe before you costume up you could just google anatomy that shit) which was sure to garner respect from all those evil men (or I guess just one really in the Oval Office and no, I don’t mean Clinton. He’s the cool one) I guess. I mean, when I want respect I try to behave in a way that I would find respectful. I don’t ‘tit’s out’ in public unless me and the hubs are getting nasty in an empty elevator or something (this doesn’t happen mostly, I just want to see if he’s read the whole article.) But woman find this empowering so the media will jump on it and we’re all supposed to just be amazed at how empowered we are.

Ashley Judd stood up and denounced the evil that was entering Washington. All the while KNOWING there was a sexual predator in her neck of the woods and 20 years after her run in with him, finally decided to speak out. What a huge piece of shit.



But hey, we won’t talk about the hypocrisy today of every single woman in every single business who chose to shut up and put up/out for the sake of their careers. I mean, feminists unite around the “we make up our own rules according to how this is going for us” pole and wrap those ribbons! You go girl!

Oh wait, I haven’t selfied in a few minutes here, hold on…


Grlfriend needs to work that sideboob angle a bit better or invest in better bolt-on’s and also, if you’re going to wear a trucker hat shouldn’t it at least wear your sponsors trucker hat? You don’t have a sponsor? Dude, bolt-on’s and side boob. Get on it.

The lady-bits landscape is so confusing these days. You have millions of women screaming “RESPECT ME YOU PUSSY GRABBER!” and you have millions of women saying, “HERE’S A PICTURE OF MY BODY INCLUDING MY TITS AND ALMOST PUSSY, YOU MUST RESPECT ME!!!” Well, geez. Which one is it?

Here’s a few fun facts of sexual assault/harassment:

  1. As a woman, you choose what you’ll accept in daily life. So when a man pats you on the ass in the office with an obligatory, “good job babe” and you don’t scream from the fucking rooftop,YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER. WE’LL BE HEADED TO HUMAN RESOURCES FOR THAT PAT ON MY ASS AND IF YOU EVER TOUCH ME INAPPROPRIATELY AGAIN I WILL NOT ONLY SUE YOUR ASS AND THAT OF THIS COMPANY, I WILL WAIT FOR YOU IN A DARK PARKING LOT WITH A MILLION OTHER LADIES WHO LIKE TO MARCH AND WE WILL PAT YOUR ASS UNTIL IT IS A BLOODY PULP! GOT IT? See, unfortunately, you are responsible for what you’ll put up with. And for those who interject, “ya butt Jules they just really liked their job and wanted to climb the corporate ladder”, okay. Then that’s your choice. You choose. Job promotion or integrity. See, the feminists have lied to you all this time. You actually CAN’T have it all. Choices will need to be made. I know, it’s not fair. I honestly know this. My world is in the gym world. Sexual harassment and various forms of sexual assault are a common occurrence. What we accept, we live with. We don’t get to come back 20 years later and scream at one man for perceived harassment while we’ve been complacent and handed excuses to another man who made sure you’ve made lots of money. I mean, I guess you can but you’re a hypocrite and in my world, a huge piece of shit. You’ve demeaned those who have been raped/molested/assaulted and didn’t have a voice in the matter. This isn’t some kitchy fucking hashtag Facebook campaign, this is real life and thriving despite sexual abuse is real empowerment. And hey, I even got to keep my shirt on.

This photo was taken at the 3rd Annual “Slutwalk” protest to highlight misconceptions about sexual assault and rape. Ummm, okay. How about if women in clothes just start standing up for themselves on a daily basis? I guess that’s not “likes” worthy.

More fun facts…

2. Rape is not political. It is personal. Let me say that again. RAPE IS NOT POLITICAL. It is not partisan. It does not matter if you were raped by a Republican or Democrat or Independent or Tea Party’r or Green Party’r. It does not matter if the rape was committed by a Christian, or  Jew, or Muslim, or White guy/girl, or Black guy/girl, or a State Farm Furry. Rape is rape. If you are joining the media and the local mob asking for one person’s head because they have accusations from unnamed sources and not another who has openly admitted to sexual assault, you are a huge piece of shit. A woman was wronged, that is the only thing that matters. Allowing the media to herd you into the local sheep pen to ensure that outrage is selective is incredibly unseemly. Be seemly.

3. If a woman has allowed herself to be a pawn in another man’s game to get ahead, own it. Look, we all play the game even a little bit to move forward in life, work, and maybe even sport. We have all made mistakes walking through life and most of us are afforded to right wrongs and grow and deal with things differently. That’s cool. Just own it. Most of us also understand that you can’t turn back the clock and we’ll just have to live with those mistakes; support others where we can, and move on. Moving on isn’t hypocritical, being selective is. As my favorite Deadwood character says, “Declare or shut the fuck up.” Succinct.

4. Don’t publicly question if another woman has truly been sexually assaulted. It actually serves no purpose and here’s the rub, you don’t fucking know. So shut up. Along the time of the trendy hashtag Facebook campaign, a lot of people (some I know and adore, others just idiots) thought they were giving an opposite point of view by questioning whether so many woman were truly impacted. Geez, knock it off. First off, who cares? Second off, maybe that was the point after all. Highlighting how common sexual impropriety occurs and that tons of women you know have been negatively affected. Look friends, just because you have a Facebook account doesn’t mean you HAVE to comment on shit. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve learned this the hard way. I didn’t come out of those instances looking good and I can tell you that those interactions will stick with me long after happy little joy joy posts will.

5. Along those lines, know this, not everyone has the ability to handle such news that you have been sexually assaulted. This is deep stuff, or it should be. It’s not trendy. It’s not cute. It hurts people for a very long time. Some are not able to move past it. I hate that for them. I am so very sorry so many can’t move past it. I’m not special because I have, I’m just lucky. I have an incredibly support system and I was put on this planet with enough spit and vinegar to avoid societal games that other Peterson’s like to play. But there are many people I know who cannot deal with the fact that I was raped and molested by my brother, many who know and love him, and there is nothing I can do about that. I can’t love them less because it’s not up to me how people process deep shit. I’ve had to process deep shit since I was very little so I’ve had more time to practice. Lucky me. Heh. Years ago, I hit my husband with some very deep shit and saw the shock in his face and the “holy shit I have no idea what to say” written all over his face. That’s ok. He just hugged me and said, “I’ve got your back” which was the exact perfect thing to say. But again, I’m lucky.

And now I’ll get to the point of this post, wait, first another selfie…


This one is particularly disturbing to me. A) she still has baby fat which would indicate she’s pretty young. 2. holding your shirt up with your mouth? Come. On!

As I’ve eluded to up there, women send mixed messages. That needs to stop. You can march in your Labia hats all you want but until women, and women you know, stop sending mixed messages, this shit continues. Do you have a friend who partially clothed social media selfies all the time? Do you say anything to her about it? Most likely yes, and most likely no. But this is a problem. This is a big problem. We want men to want to GET into our pants but then bitch when men JUST want to get into our pants. Mixed message. We shove our tits out in Social Media and then scream that we refuse to be treated as just a pair of tits. Confusing.

See, we want it all. Feminists told us we can have it all. So we do. Sorry. Mommy said you were a special snowflake genius destined for greatness, she lied too. Sorry. And here’s the rub, it’s your fault. YOU. You women out there who watch friends and colleagues whore themselves all over the place in real world and social media and say nothing. Oh sure, you’ll march. That’s easy. Selective activism. Cool. But stepping up to a co-worker and saying, “You know what Sugar, while it’s true I would love to have your bangin’ body and perfectly squeezable shaped titties, you showing them all over the office affects every women trying to garner respect through professionalism and a job well done. Can you just cover them here and then after work we’ll happy hour and you can pop’em back out and drink free all night. Cool?”

When you see a woman coming out of, oh let’s just say, Matt Lauer’s office and her clothes are disheveled and she’s crying, did you just put your head down knowing full well what went on and say nothing? Or did you scream from the rooftop, OH HELL NO MATT LAUER YOU HUGE PIECE OF SHIT! YOU RAPING AND ASSAULTING WOMEN AT THE OFFICE IS FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE AND YOU ARE FUCKING DONE!

Nope. No one did that either. Acceptance by silence. Mixed messages.

Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.

Henry Rollins

About tosabarbell

For training opportunities at tosabarbell, call or text Juli at 320-296-9313. e-mail to jep6095@gmail.com At tosabarbell, I build relationships cultivated in a strength and learning environment. There is no 12 week magic pill program to strength but rather a lifetime commitment to be the very best and most useful human you can be. tosabarbell is a private, home grown gym with three lifting platforms; squat rack; prowlers; throwing implements; bars, bumpers and everything else needed for an effective strength and conditioning program. Straightforward barbell programming including the Olympic lifts; sound (read: not fancy bullshit) diet advance for weight gain or loss; and strong coaching will ensure you will meet your goals such as becoming stronger, more explosive, and better conditioned. I have been coaching teams and athletes for over 30 years. I grew up participating in various sports at various levels but was always drawn to those that require strength training. I have multiple local, national, and world records in the sports of Weightlifting and Highland Games Heavy Events as well as a combined total of 5 World Championships. My 5 years of training and coaching under Mark Rippetoe provided a wide range of influence from some of the top strength & conditioning and throwing coaches in the country. I will strongly encourage tosabarbell athletes to compete (and prepare you to do so.) However, tosabarbell is also for those who wish to be stronger and go through life feeling better. Matt WanAt is a retired Professional Strongman who competed frequently with Strongman Champions League in Europe. He played a year of D1 football with Iowa before concentrating on his Chemical Engineering degree in Iowa City. He is a native of Wauwatosa and still remains a staunch supporter of Tosa East. This blog will be a mixture of strength notes, coaching and nutrition tips, personal shit; bacon delicacies, and a whole lot of fun.
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