Monday Bacon: Lessons Learned

The last day of the year. The time to look ahead, expect better, and put the past 12 months behind us. Some face 2013 with daunting tasks;  to those I say, you are in the hearts of your loved ones.

I’ve spent a few days thinking about some of the more important lessons I’ve learned through the years that I hope to bring into the new year.

1. SHOW happiness to see (or hear from) a loved one. Years ago I was in Mukilteo staying with my Auntie and Uncle. My cousin Denise was very pregnant with their first bambino and a bit worn out. We were hanging out in the kitchen when my Uncle walked in from outside and noticed Denise had arrived (at the time, she lived about a 1/2 hour away.) His entire face lit up and he gave her a big hug. It gave Denise a huge boost and I thought to myself, I would love to be greeted like that. So I try to pass it on. I don’t always succeed, but trying is a start.

2. PIVOT. One of my favorite ‘Friends’ episodes is when Rachel and Chandler helped Ross move a new couch upstairs. Ross (obnoxiously) keeps yelling “PIVOT! PIVOT!PIVOT!” until Chandler completely loses it. I laughed my arse off for quite a while and still do when it’s repeated. Learn to PIVOT! When something isn’t working, change direction. PIVOT! There are too many times in my life where I’ve hung on to a situation/job/friendship that was actually quite destructive to my heart, my finances, or my family. While commitment is important, so is your well being.

3. STRONG today. There is way too much talk in the gym about how “strong I’ll be for my meet in 8 months” or some other redunkulousness. Look, no one knows what’s ahead. While we may be training for upcoming events, we need to be good with our strength today. We have one friend who is just getting back into the gym after a layoff and some injury rehab who is gearing up for a big meet this spring. His comment the other day of “I can’t believe how much strength I’ve lost on the bench, but it’ll come back quick” was spoken by a true veteran. Training today is a stepping stone for future PR’s. Respect the journey.

4. Beastmode is bullshit. Knock it off. There are very few people (if any) on the planet who do not have someone else stronger than them. If you need silly jargon to pump you up, you’re too weak to train. While we need to push ourselves in our training (or else we’re just exercising) there really is no need to be special. The daily benefit of our work is that we’re not hunched over with a walker. We expect more of ourselves without being Dick about it. Don’t be Dick.

5. THANKFUL. Do it. Be thankful for your health, your loved one’s health, your pet’s health. Don’t take it for granted, you’re a horrible split second away from losing it. Be thankful for your gym, even if it’s a crappy one. Be thankful that you get to miss training because you’re able to take your family to Disney World for a week. It amazes me how many people complain that they’ll miss a few days training because they’ll be on vacation. SRSLY? Dude, you’re on vacation. Enjoy! Making your family feel like you’re sacrificing yourself for their benefit is a quiet form of attention whoring. Don’t do that.

6. CHILL…mon. This is the hardest for me. I’ve spent time with some very intense people and let too much of that rub off on me. My intensity causes stress to me and those I love. It’s a constant conscious effort to chill out and I usually fail at it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try. The good news is that next time I visit the relatives in Seattle, I get to legally chill. Heeeheee. Okay, not really. I’m too old for pot. So I’m going to have to do it the old fashioned way, to just be disciplined. No fair!

I don’t know what 2013 has planned for me. I hope it’s good. I’ll do my best to control my destiny and hopefully address life’s curve balls with grace. We’ll see. Happy New Year yo! Be safe, be strong.

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.

Benjamin Franklin

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Unwrapped Gifts

Each year, as we bring out the Christmas decorations, these two wrapped gifts carefully get set aside. The kids know what to do with them but each time someone new comes into the house, they ask about these two unwrapped gifts. Other than for photo ops such as this, these two gifts get set aside where they stay safe and sound. These gifts are fragile.

Let me start from the beginning. I grew up with my grandparents as a big part of my life. A mini-roadtrip down to Southern Minnesota was very common and staying at their house was always an adventure. First off, they had a bicycle built for two. Looking back, it must have been fun for the people of Windom to see John and Inez biking around town with various grandchildren hanging on for dear life in the back basket.

We enjoyed so many holidays and family celebrations, they’re too numerous to add up. Many of the traditions we still enjoy today are those that were taught by Grandma. Our dining room table is the same table the Peterson’s sat together for a quick meal; a Christmas feast; even in times of pain as we mourned the loss of family members. It is one of my most prized possessions and still pales in comparison to my two unwrapped gifts.

When my Grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, we had no idea what pain we had ahead of us as we watched her slip away, year after year. The occasional glimpse I got of my grandma of days past was a treasured gift, I remember them to this day. After Grandma died and Grandpa decided to sell their duplex, we were going through boxes and boxes of their things. What do we keep, what can go on the garage sale, and what can we carefully slip out to the trash?

I was assigned a downstairs closet, seemingly easy enough, fairly unexciting. When under some towels, there they were, two unwrapped gifts. Huh. I brought them up to my Dad and asked what I should do with these? He shrugged, said Grandma must have wrapped those at some point and forgot about them. Probably just toss them. TOSS THEM?! No way!

I can picture my grandma who was a very beautiful, very classy woman. Her long, thin hands and perfectly manicured nails were always a fascination of mine as my ginormous, thick hands looked silly next to hers. When I look at my unwrapped gifts, I remember her hands and picture her carefully wrapping a pink bath towel for a loved one. Her present thoughts were a mystery, but to her, wrapping these gifts made perfect sense and I love that.

The idea that even when we thought Grandma’s mind was gone, she was still there. Being loving…being Grandma. My unwrapped gifts remind me that all is not as it may appear. Take time to look beyond the obvious. Be loving, even if people don’t realize it. They will, someday.

Merry Christmas.

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Friday Jams

We went to what turned out to be one of the most fun Christmas party’s ever this week at our usual hangout, McBob’s. I had a heads up from my friend, Clay, that his band would be playing so we made sure to get a good table (it really pays to be with a ginormous man in these types of circumstances), ate, drank, and were very Merry.

Thus, the Tripoli Scottish Highlanders…from the coziness of McBob’s.

Enjoy your weekend.

Twelve highlanders and a bagpipe make a rebellion.

Scottish Proverb

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Good Advice

I’m not a church go-er but I have a church. It can be found in most large bodies of water but the shores of Lake Superior are pretty special for me. I get my Zen on there. We spent some time near Grand Marais many winters ago and listening to the shoreline ice form at night while the waves were hitting against it was very, very cool. The next day, the balmy 2 degreed or so sunshine would melt off the ice and the night time would bring it about again. This has been happening for, oh I dunno, about 10,000 years worth of winters.

I tend to stay away from churches in order to stay away from the hypocrisy many of it’s members live. Not all of them, I know a handful of people on the planet that when they tell me they’ll pray for me, I get a warm fuzzy.  Many high profile church go-ers are having a Hay Day (and getting lots of press for it, not a shock) for their OPINIONS as to why they believe good, innocent people were gunned down last week. SRSLY? Fuck you.

Now, that’s not going to make some people I care about proud. I’m sorry. I really am. But I have no other response for how I feel about these people. James Dobson? I hope there’s a special room reserved for you in Hell. It’s likely I’ll be going there too but at least I’m real. What a weighty piece of shit. (Again, I apologize to the good people who don’t cuss.) I grew up with my parents praising this man for his good work on building Christian families. This is Christian? No thanks. I”ll take my chances with the church of Nature, thankuverymuch.

Everyone had reactions to the shootings, here’s the one that spoke to me…

Be sensitive, be kind, and dangit just Love one another! Do something nice for someone else today, just because… 

Dan Ristrom

Dan is a Minneapolis musician who belongs to longtime professional entertainers Diane and Reuben Ristrom. I grew up with Diane at the helm of the Chancel Choir and she was the organist in church. Her music shines and when I am homesick for my youth, I find a church with a bangin’ organ and it reminds me of her. Anyways. I babysat Dan when he was a tyke, he was a handful. Though I haven’t seen him in years and years, I appreciated his advice and I followed it.

And just so you know “Dr” Dobson, you CAN pray in school. Anytime you want. You can also read the Bible. Anytime you want. Will they provide it? Nope. But that doesn’t mean you can’t bring it. We did not kick God out of our schools, I believe He’s probably there now. But that’s not convenient thought for the rhetoric of your hate. Carry on.

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