Friday Jams: J/K

I heard this song in Minneapolis last week when I was there for the Oz man’s district Championship game. They lost, the only loss of the season. Oz was pretty upset…

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…j/k. He had a blast this year. It was cold, very very cold. So grabbing this picture with him while he was hot stepping it to the warm bus was my one shot.

Anyways. The music. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Kongos hit ‘Come with me now.’ Sure I love a good accordion in popular music so that was fun but then the radio played it on every station on the hour, every hour. Blech. Now I guess that I haven’t heard it in a while, I’m enjoying it more.

But “I’m Only Joking” has this beat change throughout the song that’s a lot of fun. It’s challenging and not music city regurgitative bullshit. Sure, it’s a couple years old. Don’t care. It’s my new favorite and has a freaky video to go along with it. Cool.

Enjoy the weekend.

The Kongos, I’m Only Joking.

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

Bob Marley

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Powder Plot is Not Forgot; ‘Twill Be Observed by Many A Sot.

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Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologise for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine—the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone’s death or the end of some awful bloody struggle are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn’t there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression.

And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who’s to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn’t be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Barack Obama. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.

Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night, I destroyed the comfortable notions to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago, a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words—they are perspectives. So if you’ve seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked.

But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

How will you celebrate Bonfire Night? Americans, it seems, have had enough and they walked to the polls to say so. Will the other party listen? Who knows. Honestly? Probably not. Politicians be politicians.

Anyways.

We will celebrate here. Haggis and neeps and tatties for dinner. Scotch and Stout while we light the  Bonfire afterwards. The memories of the Inverness patriots will be toasted.

And for us, the 5th of November will not be forgot.

True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.

Franklin D. Roosevelt 

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Monday Bacon: What’s The Payout?

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One of the more common occurrences (about even with drunk chicks wanting him to lift them onto his shoulder) of hanging out with the Bigg guy is that people want him to lift things. Like, stones. Or heavy axle’s laying around their gym. Or come and lift at a local event. For free.

When folks (to clarify, by “folks” I mean people having fun. Not the organizers)  in Scotland began asking Matt if he was going to do the Atlas Stone challenge, Matt’s reply was, ‘what’s the payout?’ Cuz sure, he could obviously lift the stone. While fun, it really wasn’t that heavy for him. But if people want a Professional athlete to participate, that Pro athlete will instantly do a risk to rewards analysis and may just decide to sit on the sidelines, smoke their cigar and keep enjoying a beautiful Scotland fall day without any further exertion it took to walk over to the field.

See, when it comes to Strongman, Matt is a competitor rather than a participant. There’s a difference. NOW, if they happened to be the Dinnie Stones then that may be a different story. He’d train (anyone who know’s Matt know’s his grip is probably his achilles heel) for it, hard. And then give it a go. Because sometimes the payout is satisfaction that you gave something difficult a go and maybe found success or maybe didn’t. But to participate in it is good for the soul.

However, when it comes to competition, it’s a different mindset. Competitors train hard for an event or a season of events. Because they want to win. The risk of a torn bicep must be accepted if the Strongman show you’re competing in has a tire flip. The risk for participants? Too high. Silly really. Now, are tire flips silly for fitness enthusiasts? Yes. Very. But I get that it’s fun and different and gives us that ‘badass’ feeling I guess. Dunno. I don’t go for “badass” feeling in the gym. In fact, I think I’m only squatting 50kg today, I’ll have to look. Rarely is recovery/off-season training badass. I’ll save that for the field. Where I compete.

But my first Highlander and Highland Games? I was a participant. I had no idea what I was doing and if not for the help of Ms. Brittney Belle down in Texas and Erin (now) Valenti here in ‘Sconsin, I’d have participated even more poorly than I did (I nearly fell on my arse with the Heavy Weight, I consider that recovery a PR.) When I decided I’d kinda like to do well in this fringe sport, I started working on it but still would consider my first season as participating rather than competing. Success found was spotty and inconsistent, much like my current hammers. But they’re coming.

And through hard work and great coaching, I was able to become a competitor. My risk to reward of tight muscles; seized up spinal erectors; added weight cuz I wasn’t focused on it; sore feet and right hand; and just god-awful tired was high. Go for it. My predictions?

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And it’s worth it. For me. It’s still not as demanding as many sports out there including Weightlifting which I’ll still practice, why not? It’s fun and I’m the tosabarbell invitational world champion and will probably remain so, I should buy myself a trophy.

But in general, I wish more people would ask what the payout is for participating in events. Why are you driving your body into the ground day after day, specializing in one form of training while leaving other very ‘high reward’ training options by the wayside? COUGH*runners*COUGH. Why is it acceptable to tweak or outright hurt yourself in the gym just because someone has talked you into the fact that it’s badass? Being hurt isn’t badass. Not being able to train isn’t badass.

Srsly.

Are you a competitor or a participant? There is nothing wrong with being a participant. Lots of new events (Spartan races, color runs, mud runs that have you leaping into mud water with bacteria in it) have gotten people off the couch and into the gym or at least off the couch. That’s a good thing. The payout is being (hopefully) a little healthier than before. But before you decide that knee’s you can’t walk on; torn apart hands; injured backs from crappy deadlift training is a “price you’ll pay” you better know just how much you’ll get paid. Cuz Ortho Surgeons like their vacations and you’ll be funding them. True story, I’m sure Matt’s ortho misses him. Poor guy.

But today, I’ve decided to take a risk, and wear a new sweater. It was sent to me by a recovering sex addict, Melissa D., who knitted it herself , she said it gave her something to do with her hands.

Stuart Smalley

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Best Dressed

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Now that throwing is off the books for a while, we need to address the best dressed list for the season.  So here goes in no particular order:

Best Dressed – Kate Burton

Kate is a master with a scissors and will cut up that Games shirt so artfully that you could auction it off as a designer piece at the end of the day. She basically starts once shirts are handed out and will throw/cut/throw/cut until she’s done. Usually by the third or fourth event. I’d like to imagine I could cut up a shirt as well as her someday but truth be told, I’m just not creative enough.

Best in Shoes  – Katie Steingraebar

If you’ve ever thrown with Katie, you understand that she’s a bit jumpy. Kinda like a mexican jumping bean you could get in a clear plastic container when you were a kid. It’s pretty rare you see her standing still. Luke calls her a meth squirrel. Pretty accurate. But when she is sporting her hammer boots with the blades on, her pep step takes on a whole new dynamic. I’m not sure if her feet even touch the ground when she runs out to the field, I mean I assume they have to. You just don’t see it. Well done meth squirrel. Well done.

Best Games to Check In  – Celtober Games, Ft. Worth Texas by TCAA

Here’s how it goes down when you walk up to the field…First you get a hug from one of the coolest throwers on the planet, Tammy Kentner. Then you get a lick from Mack the dog (gawd I hope he doesn’t have the Ebola.) Then a big hug from awesome hubby Kevin. THEN you check in. Get a cool shirt, a bag of goods and a full blown tour of all the food and drinks that are available to you that day (also, around the 7th or 8th event, they’ll let you know where the beer is. The FREE beer.)  Although there are actually few Games with poor check in processes, and most are top notch, giving Jules free shit at the beginning will get you on the Best Dressed list. True story.

Honorable Mention: Best Place to Almost Be Beheaded – Enumclaw, North American Championships

Ever see a really big guy move really fast? Like, lightening fast? No? I have. When Jake Sullivan’s final hammer wind was let go into the cage while Andy Vincent was walking  by (with his head about a foot away from the hammer) at a leisurely pace. See, it’s actually pretty cool when a top level athlete displays their explosiveness in front of your eyes cuz I’m pretty sure Andy jumped about 30 feet forward in the blink of an eye. All was well, the cage stopped the hammer but I noticed before the next thrower that all of the Pro’s moved their boxes and their arses out of the line of fire. Heh.

Best Post Games Dinner: Melt, Columbus OH post Arnold

When fellow thrower and Scotland mate Melanie Mellinger and I were hanging out in the tent post frozen Arnold throwing, she said that her hubby Dustin had found a place to eat dinner with specialty grilled cheese sandwiches. I mentioned it to the big guy and within 30 seconds he had the menu up on his phone and said, ‘we’re in.’ So I have no idea if they wanted alone time cuz we barged in on that party. I ordered the Cuban War Pig. It was a swiss grilled cheese sandwich with honey ham, roasted pulled pork, mojo glazed pork belly and a few condiments. Pork belly and pulled pork. On a grilled cheese sandwich. With Dustin and Mel. Now, this was actually a really hard choice because we have had some absolutely amazing post Games meals with so many people that we love. But seriously, this:

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Pork Belly. On a grilled cheese sandwich. SRSLY.

Best Pre-Games Breakfast: 

This is another tough one, we’ve had so many. But honestly, the best one is about two blocks away at the North Ave. Grill. First off, if we’re having a pre-Games breakfast there it means I got to sleep in my own bed. The meat lovers skillet (no potatoes, too greasy) and pancake is the absolute best pre-Games breakfast I’ve had. I get just full enough that I’m a hint uncomfortable at first but we walk home, load up and head to the field. By the time I get there, I feel great and have energy for hours. The service is pretty hit and miss up there but that’s ‘tosa. And ya know, again, it’s home.

Honorable Mention: Best Place to Lose Your Wallet – Enumclaw

At the end of a tough day when the world went to shit back home, all I want to do is hit the beer garden with my cousin Paul. I adore my cousin Paul, he’s one of my most favorite people on the planet and we rarely get to share a beer alone because of so much family time. Yes, I like it when I get to spend time with his awesome  kids but sometimes I just want to hang with Paul or his sister Denise (she and I are planning a girls weekend. Look out Chicago, here we come!) Anyways. So I go to grab my wallet and, whut? It’s gone. Now, as organized as I try to keep my shit during the day, others had come in and tossed my backpack around and even though I’d reorganize, I guess it was just too much fun dumping it out. Who knows. All I know is that my wallet was gone. Totally gone. Shit day amazingly turned worse. I only had about $80 cash in there but I was more worried about the cards and the ID and my punch card for my mani’s/pedi’s. We instantly started checking the bank accounts on-line, no movement. That’s a good sign. Oz ran to lost and found but nothing had been turned in. OH! Beyond what was IN my wallet, I actually really like my wallet. It’s the perfect size for traveling with my passport, but isn’t too hyooge that it won’t fit into a small purse.

The next morning Matt went and checked lost and found again AND THERE IT WAS!!!!  Yes, the cash was gone. Bummer. Don’t care. I’ll assume they spent it at the beer tent which is exactly where WE were going to spend it. I got my shit, my ID, my nails punch card and my wallet. Score. Thank you good people of Washington. I mean that. They could have been complete dicks and just thrown it in the trash and I’d never have known but they made life easy for me and I’m thankful for it.

Best Games to Find an A.D. Who Later Gives a Blessing At Your Wedding: Rockford, Il/ LaCrosse, WI/ Cherry Valley, IL

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True Story.

Honorable Mention: Fellow Throwers With The Highest Energy

I’m always impressed with throwers who keep their energy high all day. I’m not one of them. I conserve. I carry my chair with to each event so I can sit when I’m not shagging or throwing. This is a shared award for Dawn Higgins and Teresa Nystrom. Throwing with Dawn is an absolute joy. She’s kick ass, funny, determined, a great competitor but still ready to crack a smile at a moment’s notice. She treats everyone fairly and her pep step around the field goes all the way until the last event. Even in the snow. Teresa is the same way. Her smile is never far away and even if she struggles with a throw, she’ll walk away and immediately try to fix it for the next one instead of getting down on herself. I love throwing with women like this. High expectations of themselves but always encouraging and positive through the end.

Best Drive to the Games: Enumclaw, North American Championships

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I don’t know how the people with a Mt. Rainier view get anything done in life. All I want to do when I’m there is stop and stare. I know I have a better picture of her during a drive in from our hotel but I couldn’t find it. But even this hazy one brings back the feeling of looking on at her magnificence.

There’s more…stand by. But now I’m hungry and I got to open up the new peanut butter so it’s time to dig in. Yeah me.

Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.

Thomas Paine

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