Powder Plot is Not Forgot; ‘Twill Be Observed by Many A Sot.

Posted on November 5, 2014 by tosabarbell

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Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologise for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine—the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone’s death or the end of some awful bloody struggle are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn’t there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression.

And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who’s to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn’t be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Barack Obama. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.

Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night, I destroyed the comfortable notions to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago, a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words—they are perspectives. So if you’ve seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked.

But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

How will you celebrate Bonfire Night? Americans, it seems, have had enough and they walked to the polls to say so. Will the other party listen? Who knows. Honestly? Probably not. Politicians be politicians.

Anyways.

We will celebrate here. Haggis and neeps and tatties for dinner. Scotch and Stout while we light the  Bonfire afterwards. The memories of the Inverness patriots will be toasted.

And for us, the 5th of November will not be forgot.

True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.

Franklin D. Roosevelt 

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Monday Bacon: What’s The Payout?

Posted on November 3, 2014 by tosabarbell

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One of the more common occurrences (about even with drunk chicks wanting him to lift them onto his shoulder) of hanging out with the Bigg guy is that people want him to lift things. Like, stones. Or heavy axle’s laying around their gym. Or come and lift at a local event. For free.

When folks (to clarify, by “folks” I mean people having fun. Not the organizers)  in Scotland began asking Matt if he was going to do the Atlas Stone challenge, Matt’s reply was, ‘what’s the payout?’ Cuz sure, he could obviously lift the stone. While fun, it really wasn’t that heavy for him. But if people want a Professional athlete to participate, that Pro athlete will instantly do a risk to rewards analysis and may just decide to sit on the sidelines, smoke their cigar and keep enjoying a beautiful Scotland fall day without any further exertion it took to walk over to the field.

See, when it comes to Strongman, Matt is a competitor rather than a participant. There’s a difference. NOW, if they happened to be the Dinnie Stones then that may be a different story. He’d train (anyone who know’s Matt know’s his grip is probably his achilles heel) for it, hard. And then give it a go. Because sometimes the payout is satisfaction that you gave something difficult a go and maybe found success or maybe didn’t. But to participate in it is good for the soul.

However, when it comes to competition, it’s a different mindset. Competitors train hard for an event or a season of events. Because they want to win. The risk of a torn bicep must be accepted if the Strongman show you’re competing in has a tire flip. The risk for participants? Too high. Silly really. Now, are tire flips silly for fitness enthusiasts? Yes. Very. But I get that it’s fun and different and gives us that ‘badass’ feeling I guess. Dunno. I don’t go for “badass” feeling in the gym. In fact, I think I’m only squatting 50kg today, I’ll have to look. Rarely is recovery/off-season training badass. I’ll save that for the field. Where I compete.

But my first Highlander and Highland Games? I was a participant. I had no idea what I was doing and if not for the help of Ms. Brittney Belle down in Texas and Erin (now) Valenti here in ‘Sconsin, I’d have participated even more poorly than I did (I nearly fell on my arse with the Heavy Weight, I consider that recovery a PR.) When I decided I’d kinda like to do well in this fringe sport, I started working on it but still would consider my first season as participating rather than competing. Success found was spotty and inconsistent, much like my current hammers. But they’re coming.

And through hard work and great coaching, I was able to become a competitor. My risk to reward of tight muscles; seized up spinal erectors; added weight cuz I wasn’t focused on it; sore feet and right hand; and just god-awful tired was high. Go for it. My predictions?

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And it’s worth it. For me. It’s still not as demanding as many sports out there including Weightlifting which I’ll still practice, why not? It’s fun and I’m the tosabarbell invitational world champion and will probably remain so, I should buy myself a trophy.

But in general, I wish more people would ask what the payout is for participating in events. Why are you driving your body into the ground day after day, specializing in one form of training while leaving other very ‘high reward’ training options by the wayside? COUGH*runners*COUGH. Why is it acceptable to tweak or outright hurt yourself in the gym just because someone has talked you into the fact that it’s badass? Being hurt isn’t badass. Not being able to train isn’t badass.

Srsly.

Are you a competitor or a participant? There is nothing wrong with being a participant. Lots of new events (Spartan races, color runs, mud runs that have you leaping into mud water with bacteria in it) have gotten people off the couch and into the gym or at least off the couch. That’s a good thing. The payout is being (hopefully) a little healthier than before. But before you decide that knee’s you can’t walk on; torn apart hands; injured backs from crappy deadlift training is a “price you’ll pay” you better know just how much you’ll get paid. Cuz Ortho Surgeons like their vacations and you’ll be funding them. True story, I’m sure Matt’s ortho misses him. Poor guy.

But today, I’ve decided to take a risk, and wear a new sweater. It was sent to me by a recovering sex addict, Melissa D., who knitted it herself , she said it gave her something to do with her hands.

Stuart Smalley

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Best Dressed

Posted on October 28, 2014 by tosabarbell

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Now that throwing is off the books for a while, we need to address the best dressed list for the season.  So here goes in no particular order:

Best Dressed – Kate Burton

Kate is a master with a scissors and will cut up that Games shirt so artfully that you could auction it off as a designer piece at the end of the day. She basically starts once shirts are handed out and will throw/cut/throw/cut until she’s done. Usually by the third or fourth event. I’d like to imagine I could cut up a shirt as well as her someday but truth be told, I’m just not creative enough.

Best in Shoes  – Katie Steingraebar

If you’ve ever thrown with Katie, you understand that she’s a bit jumpy. Kinda like a mexican jumping bean you could get in a clear plastic container when you were a kid. It’s pretty rare you see her standing still. Luke calls her a meth squirrel. Pretty accurate. But when she is sporting her hammer boots with the blades on, her pep step takes on a whole new dynamic. I’m not sure if her feet even touch the ground when she runs out to the field, I mean I assume they have to. You just don’t see it. Well done meth squirrel. Well done.

Best Games to Check In  – Celtober Games, Ft. Worth Texas by TCAA

Here’s how it goes down when you walk up to the field…First you get a hug from one of the coolest throwers on the planet, Tammy Kentner. Then you get a lick from Mack the dog (gawd I hope he doesn’t have the Ebola.) Then a big hug from awesome hubby Kevin. THEN you check in. Get a cool shirt, a bag of goods and a full blown tour of all the food and drinks that are available to you that day (also, around the 7th or 8th event, they’ll let you know where the beer is. The FREE beer.)  Although there are actually few Games with poor check in processes, and most are top notch, giving Jules free shit at the beginning will get you on the Best Dressed list. True story.

Honorable Mention: Best Place to Almost Be Beheaded – Enumclaw, North American Championships

Ever see a really big guy move really fast? Like, lightening fast? No? I have. When Jake Sullivan’s final hammer wind was let go into the cage while Andy Vincent was walking  by (with his head about a foot away from the hammer) at a leisurely pace. See, it’s actually pretty cool when a top level athlete displays their explosiveness in front of your eyes cuz I’m pretty sure Andy jumped about 30 feet forward in the blink of an eye. All was well, the cage stopped the hammer but I noticed before the next thrower that all of the Pro’s moved their boxes and their arses out of the line of fire. Heh.

Best Post Games Dinner: Melt, Columbus OH post Arnold

When fellow thrower and Scotland mate Melanie Mellinger and I were hanging out in the tent post frozen Arnold throwing, she said that her hubby Dustin had found a place to eat dinner with specialty grilled cheese sandwiches. I mentioned it to the big guy and within 30 seconds he had the menu up on his phone and said, ‘we’re in.’ So I have no idea if they wanted alone time cuz we barged in on that party. I ordered the Cuban War Pig. It was a swiss grilled cheese sandwich with honey ham, roasted pulled pork, mojo glazed pork belly and a few condiments. Pork belly and pulled pork. On a grilled cheese sandwich. With Dustin and Mel. Now, this was actually a really hard choice because we have had some absolutely amazing post Games meals with so many people that we love. But seriously, this:

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Pork Belly. On a grilled cheese sandwich. SRSLY.

Best Pre-Games Breakfast: 

This is another tough one, we’ve had so many. But honestly, the best one is about two blocks away at the North Ave. Grill. First off, if we’re having a pre-Games breakfast there it means I got to sleep in my own bed. The meat lovers skillet (no potatoes, too greasy) and pancake is the absolute best pre-Games breakfast I’ve had. I get just full enough that I’m a hint uncomfortable at first but we walk home, load up and head to the field. By the time I get there, I feel great and have energy for hours. The service is pretty hit and miss up there but that’s ‘tosa. And ya know, again, it’s home.

Honorable Mention: Best Place to Lose Your Wallet – Enumclaw

At the end of a tough day when the world went to shit back home, all I want to do is hit the beer garden with my cousin Paul. I adore my cousin Paul, he’s one of my most favorite people on the planet and we rarely get to share a beer alone because of so much family time. Yes, I like it when I get to spend time with his awesome  kids but sometimes I just want to hang with Paul or his sister Denise (she and I are planning a girls weekend. Look out Chicago, here we come!) Anyways. So I go to grab my wallet and, whut? It’s gone. Now, as organized as I try to keep my shit during the day, others had come in and tossed my backpack around and even though I’d reorganize, I guess it was just too much fun dumping it out. Who knows. All I know is that my wallet was gone. Totally gone. Shit day amazingly turned worse. I only had about $80 cash in there but I was more worried about the cards and the ID and my punch card for my mani’s/pedi’s. We instantly started checking the bank accounts on-line, no movement. That’s a good sign. Oz ran to lost and found but nothing had been turned in. OH! Beyond what was IN my wallet, I actually really like my wallet. It’s the perfect size for traveling with my passport, but isn’t too hyooge that it won’t fit into a small purse.

The next morning Matt went and checked lost and found again AND THERE IT WAS!!!!  Yes, the cash was gone. Bummer. Don’t care. I’ll assume they spent it at the beer tent which is exactly where WE were going to spend it. I got my shit, my ID, my nails punch card and my wallet. Score. Thank you good people of Washington. I mean that. They could have been complete dicks and just thrown it in the trash and I’d never have known but they made life easy for me and I’m thankful for it.

Best Games to Find an A.D. Who Later Gives a Blessing At Your Wedding: Rockford, Il/ LaCrosse, WI/ Cherry Valley, IL

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True Story.

Honorable Mention: Fellow Throwers With The Highest Energy

I’m always impressed with throwers who keep their energy high all day. I’m not one of them. I conserve. I carry my chair with to each event so I can sit when I’m not shagging or throwing. This is a shared award for Dawn Higgins and Teresa Nystrom. Throwing with Dawn is an absolute joy. She’s kick ass, funny, determined, a great competitor but still ready to crack a smile at a moment’s notice. She treats everyone fairly and her pep step around the field goes all the way until the last event. Even in the snow. Teresa is the same way. Her smile is never far away and even if she struggles with a throw, she’ll walk away and immediately try to fix it for the next one instead of getting down on herself. I love throwing with women like this. High expectations of themselves but always encouraging and positive through the end.

Best Drive to the Games: Enumclaw, North American Championships

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I don’t know how the people with a Mt. Rainier view get anything done in life. All I want to do when I’m there is stop and stare. I know I have a better picture of her during a drive in from our hotel but I couldn’t find it. But even this hazy one brings back the feeling of looking on at her magnificence.

There’s more…stand by. But now I’m hungry and I got to open up the new peanut butter so it’s time to dig in. Yeah me.

Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.

Thomas Paine

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And In Conclusion (that counts for three words, right?)

Posted on October 27, 2014 by tosabarbell

I got a lulz the other day when fellow thrower (and by ‘fellow thrower’ I mean we both throw, not that I’m on her level of awesomeness) Heather MacDonald (a teacher or professor, I don’t remember which title. The one where she grades papers, that I remember) had a run in with a student who didn’t like being marked off for saying, ‘and in conclusion’ on their last paragraph of an essay.

I remember that trick. Let’s see, I need a 1000 word essay so I start off with, ‘to begin with’ and end it with ‘and in conclusion.’ Heh. I suppose the world we live in now would add a ‘so’ to it. It would look something like this, ‘ and so in conclusion‘ for that added word. I’d probably add a couple of harshly typed “look”s in there too. For dramatic effect.

So here goes, in reference to the 2014 Highland Games season, And In Conclusion…

It started exactly 238 days ago from Saturday. In Columbus at the Arnold…

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I worked as hard as I knew how in the off season to prepare for it and, along with some very lucky bounces, pulled out the win. It was in the snow, and by snow I mean an all out snow storm.  Throwing WOB straight into snow and hoping you just stay on your frozen feet. That kind of snow. (I’ll refrain from mentioning that those soft Pro’s decided to throw in the beautiful spring sunshine the day before to avoid such conditions. It would be rude to point out that ladies in their 40’s and up are tougher than those soft Pro’s. I don’t want to be rude. They’re nice guys. Just soft;)

Anyways. The Arnold was a once in a lifetime event for me. In that, even if it’s offered again, you’d have a hard time talking me into it. It was cold. Too cold. That we all walked away without injury was something I’m very thankful for. But I’m too old and, I guess, too soft for it.

From Ohio to Illinois and Merl Lawless’ Shammies with the Ancient Athletic crew (I really do heart throwing for Merl. His prizes are always off the hook and this time we even enjoyed a Ceilidh afterwards.) April was Jason Clevenger’s backyard games where, thankfully for us, it only hailed and rained on Jason and crew setting up. (heehee, sorry Jason;) Beautiful spring sunshine for the rest of the day with some of our favorite throwers was perfect made better by a grill out afterwards. Numms.

We took a break in May for that wedding thing and hit the local Games here in ‘tosa (it’s toe-sa, not to ss-a) which was even MORE fun when Jason came up for it along with Katie and Luke. Katie won by the way and by won I mean she beat Luke because it’s an open field. Girls rule and boys drool.  THEN I had the great idea, a couple weeks later, of throwing in a partial Games Friday night in Chicago and hot stepping it to Indiana for a full Games the next day with the Stout Barbell crew. Never again. Our Games in Chicago ran late and hey, did you know when you go to Indiana from Wisconsin you lose an hour? You did? Why didn’t you tell me? OH! And the next Sunday Matt got to get on a plane for the Middle East. Sound like fun? Really? Cuz it actually wasn’t. Well, the Indiana was an absolute blast and if we could have transported ourselves back to ‘tosa without the drive it’d have been super duper. But we couldn’t, so it sucked. I’ve assured Matt that when I have these hair brained ideas again, I won’t snap at him if he tells me that it’s not a good idea. I mean, I’ll probably still think he’s wrong cuz by next season I’ll have forgotten how awful it was but at least I won’t snap at him. So there’s that.

Enter us limping into July. Not good. At the time of the season where we should just be ramping up for greatness, we were tired. Lesson learned. FoShizzle.

July brought Minnesota and throwing for Jeff Bryan who ensured that the meat pies, port O potty, and beer tent were strategically placed right next to the throwing field. Plus one for Jeff Bryan (actually plus 1000 cuz he’s really quite wonderful to throw for.)

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One of my better photobombs of the season with the Minnesota boys.

The chilly rain put a slight damper on the day but I threw my HWD with the 28# PR that day in the pouring rain.  I also PR’d my Sheaf with the help of Jessica Hare so it was a great day. Next year the big guy comes with me and we utilize the location to enjoy the meat pies and beer tent more. True story.

July closed out with Enumclaw and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If we can make Portland next year and spend a week in the PNW, we’re in. Fingers crossed. I’ve written about the wonderful and the sad that revolved around Enumclaw so I won’t add anything else. I will say that it is an absolute delight to watch the Women and Men’s Pro classes throw. They are amazing and I’m thankful for it. Being able to help shag for part of the day on my off day(by the way, don’t say you’ll shag in Scotland. It means fuck. Lesson learned) makes me happy because I’m so thankful to be there but it didn’t wear me out like last year. Not knowing how to handle the Caber bit me in the arse but I had an amazing day and even got the Vincent brothers to pose with the Gamesminion:

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He was a bit scarred after that but recovered quickly when I told him that Matt won the World Championship. So I guess it’s okay to be brutalized by a world champion. Good to know. Moving on.

Look! I knew August was going to be a challenge with three Games scheduled but I thought I had a plan on how to handle it. I was wrong, I drove myself into the ground. Another lesson learned. Throwing for Clevenger two times is an absolute treat. I could go on and on and on and on about how awesome he and Jane are but most folks already know that and this is sposed to be an “in conclusion.” The Wisconsin State Games and the Throwing for the Cure Games are staples in our schedule and we learned it takes a little more than constant pouring rain to dampen our fun. (Get it? Rain? Dampen?) Again, throwing with Sue, Ruth, Katie, Elissa, Candice and even a few ladies I hadn’t thrown with before including author Annie Marshall was super cool. Plus, Katie keeps tempting fate with her back and wants pictures of me on it. I worry I’ll break it but what the hell, the chick is stronger than most…

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The Games themselves were just fine. Where I went wrong was in my recovery. I threw too much. Next year when it gets busy like this, I’ll only drill and do very few full throws once a week. That’s it. If I’m lucky enough to run down to Clevenger’s for practices with a great group of folks, I keep it to two events. Caber and a height event. I ended up throwing every event down there the equivalent of two Games worth of reps and it destroyed me. I limped out of August at the Waukesha local Games (more rain, goodie) and was so very tired. My numbers showed it too by the way. Shocking.

Well, ya know, then there was Scotland and Swindon. I’ve gone on ad nauseam about Scotland but holy crap, what a ride. If I only had one word to describe Scotland it would be ‘Thankful.’ For the opportunity; the friends; the food and malts; the laughs; the hugs; the throwing; the prizes; the celebration of Highland Games; the Scots; the entire experience. It’s not too shocking that I came home from the GBR a little fluffy and a lotta tired. But I had the end in sight. Bonfire and Bagpipes with Kevin Nies was absolutely stunning, as it was the year before. It is an absolute gift to be able to throw at this one. Indiana was the last for Matt and one last round of hugs for the year with these folks were treasured. Mike and Amy Huth; Dawn and Sue; Tracey and David; Jeremy and Ashley (congrats by the way you two on your engagement!) John O’Connor, Rob and Rachelle. I know there’s more I’m forgetting. An absolute blast!

And then this weekend in Texas. After Indiana, as tired as I was, I committed to working as hard as I could to be prepared for Texas especially since it was a Team challenge and I wanted to step things up for my mates. But then fall hit ‘tosa and the rain prevented me from doing too much throwing. Oh sure I did drills in the gym but only few days of actual throwing. And then suddenly two days before I flew out, I realized that I felt better than I had in a long time; had the best pre-Games practice since July, and felt completely prepared.

And it worked. I PR’d seven events and tied my sheaf PR. On my last Games. So in conclusion, more drills. Less full reps once I start getting tired. Take it easy in the gym. Walks. Good food. Rest. Someone remind me to read this next July. It works.

Our team won this weekend. Of course I’ll be a dick and say “obviously.” Heehee. But we really did have a great group of women and throwing with Teresa Nystrom again (this time in 90 degree heat, last time in the Arnold snowstorm) was really quite awesome. Her positive energy and huge smiles throughout the day kept us going and getting to know Amber, DeeDee, Bonnie, and Breah was an absolute treat. Great women and if there were a better way to finish out a season than by a team win with these ladies I have no idea what that would look like (maybe winning the lottery after the Games?) Well done ladies!

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While eating dinner at a food truck food court after the Games, Michael Dickens asked if it was okay he spost a picture with me flipping off the camera on the Facebook. Precious. I’m all, uhhhh ya dude, it’s my thang.

There are thank you’s, so many. The hard part of the thank you’s is my fear I’ll forget some (knowing I will.) I hate that.

First, of course, to my (now) husband who supports and bankrolls most of this throwing stuff. I am incredibly fortunate to have his support, I know that. Throwing with him in Games this year was lots of fun and the amount of times I’d hear from other ladies on the field say ‘my husband has a man crush on your husband’ I’d just smile and say, ‘ya, that happens a lot actually.’ He’s the best. If you’ve met him you know that’s a true story.

Jason Clevenger, I’d be half the thrower this year without him and his dragging his stuff out on a precious day off so that a bunch of us are better prepared for Games. I am so thankful for Jason and Jane’s friendship and support. Brian and Jessica Hare, if all I did was watch more videos of Brian throwing the hammer I’d have been better already. But their coaching (mostly Brian’s but it was always a treat when Jess was around) gave me tools to be better. It’s still coming and has just started to click but I know I’m on the right track. I’ll do more sessions with him this winter up in the Great White North if he’s game. He’s a great coach and I’m lucky to have him. Mindy Pockoski, that she has such a strong impact on my throwing through e-mails and a few videos showcases how awesome a coach she is. If you haven’t bought the Contrarian Approach to Throwing yet I’ll just assume you don’t want to be a better thrower. OH! And if you’re in my class of throwers, please don’t. Kthxbye. On that same note, the Training Lab and other training tools by Matt Vincent. I ran his program from day one of the off season last year and came into the Arnold in fighting shape. I’ll take some more time to recover right now but when I’m ready for those 10×10’s, I’ll hit it with gusto.

There are many, many people who dropped a cue or two throughout the season. Many, and it made a positive impact. Mark Wechter, Michael Dickens, Jeremy Gillingham, Craig Smith, Adriane Wilson, Michelle Crownhart, Spencer Tyler, judges whose names I don’t know, Duncan, Jason, Sue, Ruth, Katie, Jessica, Brian, Luke. World Champion Hans-Dieter Dorow who took the time to show me what I was doing wrong with the WOB on the airplane ride back from Inverness. I have PR’d my last two WOB’s, I am forever grateful. The A.D.’s who forego having a life during the Games season just so we can throw on a kilt, drink some scotch and have a blast. It is an honor to throw for each and every one of you. The judges and so many people who serve supporting roles.  My fellow throwers, Mona, Michaela, Dawn, Tracey, Michelle, Katie, Jess, Elissa, Victoria, Teresa, so many. Many of the elite throwers who set such wonderful examples on how to not only excel at sport, but be a ton of fun and good to other people at the same time. I value that. It’s special about the Highland Games.

Damn, I know I’m forgetting people. Merl and the Ancient Athletics crew, Clevengers, the TCAA and Ms. Brittney. Wally and The Queen and their crew. Kevin Rogers and Gerry Reynolds. Mike and Amy Huth and John O’Connor. Jeff and Kevin.  Hoss and Candy Sprinkles, Max and Yvonne, Melanie and Staci…Scotland would have been completely lackluster without you. Big Daddy, Mr. Matchmaker, we heart you long time. There are some of you out there in Highland Games land that are incredibly entertaining. I’m not dropping names but you who lulz me or show a simple sign of support, thank you.

My support staff. KCon, little Con, adopt-a-Con in a snowstorm. Jeff and Jess for Texas taxi service and an amazing dinner. My Seattle fam, the Oz man, the Z’s and Dan (if you don’t have an awesome ex-husband, I’m sorry. I do.)

So long 2014 season, you were grand.

Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

Michael Jordon

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