Hawt

Posted on November 13, 2014 by tosabarbell

 

I really heart this commercial. Using the exact tactics that you claim never happens in your fitness center. Hot girls “gymtimidating” homely girl. I really wonder if homely chubs from all across the nation flocked to PF after this ran. I’m sure we’ll see it again sometime in December when people all over the world (errrr, ‘merica) decide that THIS is the year they’re going to lose the weight. Yawn.

Anyways. That’s not what today is about.

This past August I was tired and sore, all the time. I wasn’t moving as well as I was earlier in the season. Games pictures of a bloated Jules made me sad. I didn’t work hard for an entire year to feel like this. Now, of course, some of that is to be expected. But not like this. (Quite frankly, I have no idea how people accept feeling like shit on a daily basis. Yeah, yea, ya, ‘they don’t know better’ and all that but I think deep down most do. They know it, just don’t know how to change it.) Anyways.

After Scotland, I decided that when this season was over, I’m going to take some “be good to the body” time in the only way I know how. Doing something hard. Heh. Enter hot yoga.

The first time I went to hot yoga was years ago with my cousin Denise in Woodinville, WA. This is her thing. She’s tiny and bendy and she agreed to train with barbells in the morning with me so I felt I should agree to do her thing in the evening. I remember hating it, but then loving it. I loved the release of tensions and the stretching. But it was so gawdawful hot. We went once more in that visit and I was parked right under one of the heat vents. Memo to me: don’t do that. The instructor let me move.

I did a class once in Minneapolis and, yup, it was just as horrible as I remembered. But I love the feeling afterwards. Moving a little better, getting a good sweat on, being able to turn my head. The little things in life. I remember that’s a good thing. So when I knew I needed to lose some fat and move better, hot yoga was the only option for me.

And it’s working. I’m three weeks into classes, three times a week (I went one Sunday morning post drinking Saturday night, it destroyed me for the entire day. Not again.) The Monday class is the normal 90 minutes but the Wednesday and Friday classes are only 60 minutes (they call it express.) I’ll say this, the 90 minute class seems to take about 2 1/2 hours whereas the 60 minute class seems to take about a half hour. 90 minutes is brutal. I’m good to go on the standing poses but I skip the one above. I don’t put my back into flexion. Nope, not gonna happen. I did it a few times when I was so proud that I could pick up my foot but afterwards my back was sore and that’s the opposite effect I want out of this. So I stand and just kick my leg out. At least I know I can do it if I had to (why in the world would I ever have to?)

The other poses get tricky for me. I’m careful not to bring on a spinal erector seize so when we’re on our bellies I don’t extend too far. My right knee still has some fluid in it from all of those times I forgot to turn my foot on the throws but even just sitting on my knees now briefly is an accomplishment. I’ll take it. By this time, also, it’s bloody hot. Our studio keeps the room at about 105 but it was hot enough yesterday that even the instructor started fanning the door to bring in some cool air. I checked the temp setting before I left the room and it was at 109. Now, assuming this is “wall temp” and the air is a bit cooler I feel safe in assuming it was probably around 107 in there and yes, those additional two degrees make a helleva difference. People were dropping like flies. The girl next to me didn’t have water (bring frozen water by the way, it heats up fast) and I was very concerned for her. If it’s going to be that hot in there I’ll need to start bringing two waters. OH! When I was in Texas throwing, my second place prize was a little insulated single water (or beer:) bottle, soft sided thermos thingy. It’s perfect for hot yoga, THANK YOU TCAA!!

I am moving better. I am feeling better and yes, I’m finally (with the help of dialing in food) losing some bloat and fat. Yeah hot yoga.  I have one more full week of 3x per week and then off season starts where I’ll cut it down to those two express classes each week. My long term goal is to keep up one express session during next year’s season as long as I can and if it gets to be too much, I’ll check in every couple of weeks. Feeling better and moving better is worth it.

A fellow thrower asked on my training log about it the other day and whether or not it was helpful. Well,ya. But if all you want to do is get some good stretching in, honestly, I’d just recommend yoga. Same benefits, less sweat. For me, I had to make a commitment to myself to do these four weeks and believe me, as controlled as I am in following through on this stuff, bad Juli is already trying to talk good Juli out of next Monday’s long session. We’ll see who wins. Maybe if good Juli promises bad Juli some wine or something after she hydrates?? Hmmmmmm…

Overall it’s been a great experience and I’m happy I’m doing it. It’s funny, especially with the above commercial. There is a very specific female body type that is attracted to hot yoga and believe me, mine ain’t it. Long, lean muscles? (Bwahahhahahhaaaaaa!!!!) Very thin (sometimes skinny), lack of muscles (they get in the way of some of those poses, believe me), and judging by their skin color lack of meat seems to be the norm. I’m the chubby homely chick in this room and I’ll own it. Loss of some bodyfat? Yup! Loss of muscle mass, ummmmmm,nope Kthxbye.

So chances are I’ll always be the big girl in the room. That’s okay, I’ll also be the one who smiles when the instructor says that “grip strength” needs to be improved to hold on to sweaty limbs. Umm, my grip is fine thx, just sweaty and “grip strength” isn’t really a thing in hot yoga. But I’ll play along, this is your sandbox. A hot one, but yours.

Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation, which are as necessary as reading. I will rather say more necessary because health is worth more than learning.

Thomas Jefferson

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Superior

Posted on November 12, 2014 by tosabarbell

superior‘

I’ve recently noticed a trend of “speak” that has become so increasingly annoying to me, it makes me want to avoid conversation altogether. I’ve been calling it the ‘superior speak.’ Ya know, like when you ask a Starbucks barista for a “black eye” (a black eye, by the way, is a cup of coffee with two shots of espresso in it. Needed to make a Starbucks coffee drinkable. I even ask for a “bold blackeye” or else they’ll add it to that Pikes Place shit they try to pawn off on everyone. OH! Even better? Pikes blonde. As if Pikes wasn’t horrendous enough. Lulz.)

Anyways.

The “red eye” (one shot) and “black eye” are Starbucks speak. Google that shit. I’ve even been told when saying, ‘medium bold coffee with two shots, ristretto’ to just go ahead and say “bold black eye, ristretto.” Hokay, I can do that. But somewhere along the lines of Management (I’m guessing) they’re trying to get away from the secret menu. So now when I say, “bold black eye, ristretto” like a good little customer I get an entire production of the following:

Eye roll, open mouth wide and say, “uhhhhh, a what?” in that way where the ‘at’ in ‘what’ are increased by an octave or two. There is mostly likely some kind of break or stutter also so it actually sounds like this, ‘uhhhh, a, break a, whaat?!’ So what is said is one thing; however; what is meant is, “Dear Ms. Customer, I am no longer acknowledging to know what a Black Eye is and you are a complete dumbass for trying to use that phrase here anymore. I also am so glaringly superior to you that I will do everything in my power to make you feel like an imbecile for even attempting to order that here.” Sincerely, hugs and kisses, your Starbucks barista.

Hey barista girl? GFY. And while you’re at it, demand that additional training so you can understand what it means when someone in the drive through says “WITH CREAM.” See, it means that I want a little cream in my bold black eye. So when you hand it out and I ask if you’ve managed the arduous task of putting cream in a coffee, you completely understand the concept instead of saying, ‘uhhhhh, I’m sure it does’ with another eye roll but then it doesn’t.

I know, I pick on the Starbucks. But they are not the only one’s who do this. Now, it could be a regional thing. I get it a little less in Minneapolis but it still exists. The Seattle area barista’s are usually as efficient and friendly as they come but I don’t go to Starbucks there. In general; however; it’s happening all over, not just at the coffee shop.

First off, if eyes are ever rolled at me, I’m out. It is quite possible the most immature, aggressive form of communication that really only tells me that you have the self esteem of a rock and so need to put down everyone you come into contact with to possible eek out a drop of worth before you go to bed at night. People like that are to be avoided. Especially if I’m giving you money for a goods or a service.

Secondly, the stutter. I know people who stutter. While I never have, I spent ten years in speech therapy classes as a young’n to try to fix other speech issues I had. I don’t think they cured me, I just stopped caring.  Thanks a bunch speech therapist but I’ll take it from here and if people want to make fun of me for the way I talk, I’ll own it. Kthxbye. So to purposely stutter to try to appear more superior than others kinda baffles me. Dramatic stuttering doesn’t make you right, it makes you a tool. Don’t do that.

See, I can be right without being superior and I’ll always assume people want to enter a conversation agreement with just general respect and mirth (the word “mirth” isn’t used nearly enough anymore.) But an eye roll, a deliberate stutter followed by an “uhhhhhhhh” will actually not get you respect. It gets you one less customer/friend/ coach/whatever you want me to be in that moment to you. Cuz peace out YO! You’ll need to play those games with someone else.

So, to recap, Lake Superior in the picture above? Beautiful, dangerous; cold; black; sparkling; frozen; shipwrecks; cliffs; majestic, and worthy of respect on any given day. Superior attitude to make others feel as shitty as you do?

Shitty.

Lying has a kind of respect and reverence to it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.

Samuel Butler

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Friday Jams: J/K

Posted on November 7, 2014 by tosabarbell

I heard this song in Minneapolis last week when I was there for the Oz man’s district Championship game. They lost, the only loss of the season. Oz was pretty upset…

joking

…j/k. He had a blast this year. It was cold, very very cold. So grabbing this picture with him while he was hot stepping it to the warm bus was my one shot.

Anyways. The music. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Kongos hit ‘Come with me now.’ Sure I love a good accordion in popular music so that was fun but then the radio played it on every station on the hour, every hour. Blech. Now I guess that I haven’t heard it in a while, I’m enjoying it more.

But “I’m Only Joking” has this beat change throughout the song that’s a lot of fun. It’s challenging and not music city regurgitative bullshit. Sure, it’s a couple years old. Don’t care. It’s my new favorite and has a freaky video to go along with it. Cool.

Enjoy the weekend.

The Kongos, I’m Only Joking.

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

Bob Marley

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Powder Plot is Not Forgot; ‘Twill Be Observed by Many A Sot.

Posted on November 5, 2014 by tosabarbell

guyfawkes1

Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologise for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine—the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone’s death or the end of some awful bloody struggle are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn’t there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression.

And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who’s to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn’t be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Barack Obama. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.

Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night, I destroyed the comfortable notions to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago, a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words—they are perspectives. So if you’ve seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked.

But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

How will you celebrate Bonfire Night? Americans, it seems, have had enough and they walked to the polls to say so. Will the other party listen? Who knows. Honestly? Probably not. Politicians be politicians.

Anyways.

We will celebrate here. Haggis and neeps and tatties for dinner. Scotch and Stout while we light the  Bonfire afterwards. The memories of the Inverness patriots will be toasted.

And for us, the 5th of November will not be forgot.

True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.

Franklin D. Roosevelt 

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