A couple of months ago, I had a Facebook discussion with my dear friend down in Texas about a men’s Gym that was exclusive to men only to remove the temptations of barely dresses women that can ensue in globo gyms around the country. For the record, we were on opposite sides of the conversation. See how that works? Friends disagree on a topic and remain friends. We’re old school that way.

I was in favor of the men’s only gym. She believed (to paraphrase) that if men can’t have the self-control necessary in public, perhaps they should work on that. To note, I don’t wholly disagree with that point of view. However, I’ve been to many gyms in my life. Many. It’s why I train at home. Public gyms are not for me. They are filled with poorly behaved adolescents; poorly behaved men; women who use every trick in the book to gain attention that includes, unsurprisingly, to be dressed as little as possible.

As the HHH and I are given opportunities to travel, we need to make do when we need to train. Often times, a hotel gym with some dumbbells and cardio equipment is enough. But there are times when we need a real gym. There have been times in Milwaukee when we trained at a real gym, most of those interactions are pleasant but we know that there will be scantily clad women. Very scantily clad women. In fact, I’m being generous. I try to do that more as I’ve aged. Many women dress specifically to gain attraction and yes, if you’re in a bodybuilding gym, it’s even worse. I have watched these women and girls go after men for attention or more, even the HHH, from across the gym. To me, it’s mostly funny. Mostly.

To many of you, it is inconceivable that women really are this bold and/or desperate. I love that for you. To live in that world where you can believe everyone treats public spaces with respect to just getting better or stronger. Encouraging, supportive, where you can put your head down and train and then get out of the gym and go on with your life. Countless people do this every day. Just last weekend we were in a half-weightlifting, half-strongman gym where many men and women came in, trained, had some fun, and went home. See how easy that is? Women were dressed, one Islander woman even had a pareo tied around her waist while she trained. She was amazing by the way, I wanted to go over and get a picture with her but since I’m twice her age, it’s probably a little creepy that Tutu wants a picture with you while you train. Anyway. It was clear from everyone who trained at this gym, even in Southern Cali that clothes are a part of the daily uniform. See how easy that is?

And this brings on the topic of mini kilts. At any given Highland Games, you will see a variety of kilts. Very rarely do you see the same kilt on the field even where there are close to 75 athletes. I’ve shared the field where a woman was dressed in a kilt, a bustier (bold during the hammer throw), and thigh high boots. She actually didn’t last long on the field because she wasn’t “having fun.” Before she exited; however; she got a dig in on me that I wasn’t having any fun because I wanted to throw far. I told her that I always have fun winning. I could have been bitchier. For real. In Tucson at the 2019 Scottish Masters World Championships, I threw with a woman I’d never met before who was a full-blown Scottish Lady and she wore a full Scottish garb with a sash and heavy kilt. Kudos to her, I was boiling in the heat, and she kept her cool the whole time. As it turns out, you can buy a 1 sq ft by 1 sq ft plot of land in Scotland and be considered a Lord or a Lady since you own land. She was nice but did have a difficult time moving in her full regalia. Poor thing.

Then there are the mini kilts. Now, I’ll say this, a mini kilt on a 5’1 hobbit thrower is very different than a mini kilt worn by a 5’10” thrower with stilts for legs. Sorry not sorry. I’ve seen some pretty short kilts on the field. It attracts the attention that those wearing them seek. Way to go. I like attracting attention by throwing the farthest but hey, to each their own. For the most part, mini kilts are fairly harmless. I once threw in a big Games that banned mini kilts. I’ve always been a bit curious as to how that rule came about. Like, how bad was your mini kilt that all those that came after you are banned from wearing one. It must have been bad.

Also, there are the sports bra throwers. The women. Men keep their shirts on. I have never thrown at a Games where a man has taken his shirt off. Now, cutting up Games shirts is very common. Kate Burton Jacobson was the queen of cutting up Games shirts. One of my Kate Burton Enumclaw t-shirts was so fashionable, that I still have it exactly as it was. Men will often cut their shirts so that there is as little shirt as possible. I don’t begrudge these men and women cutting up their shirts. Many Games have rules that you must be on the field in their Games shirt so getting creative while throwing in 100+ degree heat is always to be admired. Outright taking off your shirt and throwing in your bra is different. That said, I can’t say that I’m against it. I wouldn’t do it. As an athletic director, I wouldn’t allow it on my field, but I do understand it. It’s hot. There used to be a thrower (maybe she still is, I’ve been out of the big Games loop for a while) who would throw in her sports bra and have her mini kilt pulled up just under her bra and have shorty shorts on. It was quite an outfit. It never bothered me, that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t bother a family there with 10–12-year-old boys watching.

I once threw with a woman whom I respect deeply and is an amazing thrower who, on this certain day in the 100+ heat, asked me if I thought it was bad that she was in her sport bra. I told her to do whatever she wanted. If the A.D. had a problem, he’d say something, but it was a backyards Games. Do you, boo. In college, she was a distance sprinter. I have no idea how old she is now but I’m guessing her legs are still fabulous. Talk about fabulous legs…

There are times where a Highland Games female athlete can be dressed provocatively enough that it just makes me shake my head. The difference between a Highland Games and the gym is that if you try to rub up against another HG athlete, people will notice and those women don’t tend to last long on the Games circuit. The gym is different. It’s enclosed. There are less clothes, even less than a sports bra and a mini kilt. Yes, even less than a sports bra and a mini kilt. As a thrower in the North Star region, the good news is this…

…throwing in Minnesota in the late spring will rarely bring out the mini kilts and sports bras. Heh.

At the end of the day, the skimpy outfits in the gym portray a lack of self-confidence. A need to be seen, in fact, only to be seen by men. It is a behavior I pity. While I didn’t dress like this in the gym, ever, I was young once and lacked self-esteem and was most definitely self-destructive in other ways. It’s not a fun place to reside. I didn’t have social media temptations, thank goodness. The opportunity to showcase your body for clicks has not been positive for many women. That is a shame. Moving from the internet to in person was a logical step. That is a shame. Shaming men for looking at barely dressed twenty somethings when men are doing exactly what you wanted was the next logical step. Being called out for this isn’t bad unless doing it in the first place is bad. Can’t have it both ways, gals. Sorry not sorry.

Put a shirt on, ask your gym crush if he’s read any good books lately and strike up a conversation. If he doesn’t want to talk to you, move on. A gym crush rarely turns into anything meaningful unless it happens at the Wichita Falls Athletic Club and 16 years later your crush turned into your HHH. Aren’t I the lucky one? Heh.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha