Implements+Creativity=Stupidity

gymfail

A beefy powerlifter/bodybuilder told me a story once. He said while training in a globo-gym, he and a pal found a couple of those little square wood pieces with wheels. Ya know, the things we used in elementary school when kids could still play hard in elementary school. We called them Dolly’s and they looked kinda like this…

gymdolly

Those things were fun. Anyways, big guy and big pal decided to have some fun with them and started doing a whole bunch of stupid exercises on them. They may be on some gym fail somewhere but in this case, they were just being silly boys. Well, lo and behold, the next time my friend got to the gym, there were some little silly boys with the dolly’s out doing the same thing. AwwwwSHIT.

That’s ONE of the ways stupid gym shit is passed down. Monkey see, monkey do. But what about the other way? Ya know, someone with not too much experience walks in the gym and says, “Hey! I have X piece of equipment and I’ve never seen anyone do Y with it so we’re gonna! I’m foking brilliant!” 

Hey! Ya know why you haven’t seen anyone else do it? Especially the people who are on top of whatever game we’re watching? Cuz it’s stoopid. Not brilliant. Stupid. How does Bigg put it? Too much risk for too little gain. That should be painted on most gym’s walls of silly people who post videos on the youtube.

TOO MUCH RISK FOR TOO LITTLE GAIN! 

And then promise your patrons that you will NEVER put their strength or health in danger by doing stupid shit. EVER.

Look, gyms these days are full of fun toys. In the good gyms, machines have been replaced by barbells, and kettlebells, and strongman equipment. But that doesn’t mean we need to get away from their intended uses. The reason the strongest and best use this stuff in the ways they do, is cuzz it works. The best pressers in the world press heavy barbells. They understand that to be the best, they need to keep their shoulders heavy so they don’t do tricks with other things. Even Bigg is careful when drunk girls want him to lift them overhead (happens a lot actually, either that or he get’s a nice boob rub by waitresses when they serve us food. Pretty lulz.)  His usual response is no thanks, not today. The last thing we need to deal with is some tweak or pull from doing silly things. So we don’t.

Ever.

Now, when the guys get together and some strength/grip challenge thingy is on the line, sure. That happens. But it happens with professional athletes who know exactly what they’re doing and what THE RISK IS. Do the clients of stupid coaches? Nope. So do your good deed of the day, if you see it, stop it. If you want to do it, stop yourself.

Pleaze.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it’s limits.

Albert Einstein

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Monday Bacon: R&R

repetitive

First off, this is not new. It is not groundbreaking nor is it earth shattering. I did not wake up in the middle of the night to the Epiphany that will turn the strength world inside out (I actually woke up to the Bigg man’s snoring.) It is old news. One could even dare say it’s repetitive and redundant. But it’s still all over the interwebz with other ‘miracle’ coaches selling their snake oil. They have the answer to the age old question, ‘How do I get better at throwing/strongman/weightlifting/hula dance/fill in the blank ?????’

Or rather, should I squat a certain way to “mimic” the stance in a WOB? Should I sumo deadlift to “mimic” the stance of a lineman? And this question came up last week with some of our new Highland Games friends, why would holding our arms straight out in an air squat “prepare” us for holding the bar in a front squat? (By the way, I disagree on that one. If someone believes they’ll fall over because their arms aren’t thrown forward and up then they just need a better coach who can have enough foresight to ask them to pull their weight off their heels. This has worked for all shapes and sizes and weights. Add to the fact that when we front squat, our arms are not thrown up and forward. The bar rests on our Deltoids and does just fine with our elbows up.)

But the bigger picture here is that, if you wish to play and even excel in a sport, guess what? You’ve gotta practice it. It’s why the top players in sport train AND practice the mechanics of whatever you’re doing. There is no “WOB” squat. There is only a strong squat. Then we take our implement out in the field (or yard) and tear it up trying to perfect our TECHNIQUE for a  higher WOB. If you want to skip even ONE part of the dual, then your game day will suffer. True Story.

I know people who don’t like to practice. They like to do all their work in the gym. Because for them, it’s the easy part. In large part, it was me last year. Now, I whill say that while I practiced what I could, I didn’t have NEAR the understanding of what I’m trying to accomplish like I did this year and that has helped immensely. My body still isn’t doing exactly what I want, but at least I have a picture in mind. And I practice every day. Every. Day. Even to the point where my gym time is decreasing and will be even less in about a month as I prepare for the World Championships. BUT, it will still be there. Because I can’t do one and skip the other.

If I don’t squat or pull, I hurt. I don’t recover as well as I should after events. If I don’t press or go overhead in some way, my shoulders get tight and they hurt after throwing. Unacceptable. It is impossible for me to do one without the other. I know, I tried it this spring. I switched up my training enough that A) I hurt and B) my throwing suffered and 3. I gained weight. Not good.

Anyways.

The gym is for strong time. The field is for sport time. See how that works? It’s really not magic. If there’s an on-line (or otherwise) coach who tells you he/she has the perfect programming and technique tips to be a champion and his name isn’t Matt Vincent, don’t buy it. Cuz I’ve seen Matt Vincent’s training and throwing video’s and read his books. Guess what he does? He get’s strongest in the gym, and throws out in the field. See how that’s not magic? It’s just lots of hard work.

Hard work. Hmmmm, maybe that’s where the breakdown is. See, ONLY practicing or ONLY training is a little less work than doing both. Taking the time to do footwork drills (srsly, who likes footwork drills? They’re tedious and you like like a crazy person spinning down the track on one line until you get dizzy enough to look like a drunken crazy person. Or maybe that’s just me) is like cutting into real throwing or real training time. But ya know what, at some point in time the top throwers have done footwork drills. Cuz they had to. Maybe not anymore, but I don’t “practice” my squat anymore. I just do it. I’ve honed the technique enough to know when I need to adjust and just do it. But that took time. Time I was willing to spend which leads to another problem with noobs these days. But I do know people who only practice and it makes me want to drop kick them across the field when they complain that their throws aren’t getting any better immediately after bragging that they don’t go to the gym. Choose. Either be a strong thrower or STFU and deal with what you’ve prepared your body to do. Which is? Not much.

Anyhoo, back to the folks who have done this for a short time but they want to know right meow. How do I do this perfect RIGHT NOW without putting in too much time? And again we say, it takes time and strength and practice. Repetitive and redundant. Not sexy. Not magic. I won’t make a million selling the “get’cher WOB over 20′ by August” product. Damn. That really sucks cuz I was hoping to use that money in Scotland. Oh well, guess we do it the old fashioned way. We’ll earn it.

Repetitive and Redundant. Train. Practice. Fuel your body. When you have experts around, pick their brain as much as you can while remaining respectful that they also are competing. Then go home and train and practice some more. But stop looking for the carryover technique in the gym. The gym is there to make you strong. Strongest. Then you grab your implements and go practice to make your throwing further. Day after day, all season long. Boring eh? I hope my competition thinks so. Heeehee (But I know they don’t. Sad face.)

To give any less than your best is to sacrifice a gift.

Steve Prefontaine

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Common Sense

paine

…Wherefore, instead of gazing at each other with suspicious or doubtful curiosity, let each of us, hold out to his neighbour the hearty hand of friendship, and unite in drawing a line, which, like an act of oblivion shall bury in forgetfulness every former dissension. Let the names of Whig and Tory be extinct; and let none other be heard among us, than those of a good citizen, an open and resolute friend, and a virtuous supporter of the RIGHTS of MANKIND and of the FREE AND INDEPENDANT STATES OF AMERICA.

Our country is more divided than I have ever seen. Social media, a divisive news media and politicians have shaped our country to be neighbor against neighbor. It is unacceptable. We rail on each other on the Facebook about politics; lifting; ANYTHING we disagree with. We are willing to say horrible things that will exist forever on the internet. We take MEME’s and perceive them to be fact.

We are rediculous. We are playing into the hands of power hungry politicians whose only goal in life is to STAY IN POWER.

Stop it. Now. No one in Washington is going to ‘reach across the aisle.’ We need to do it. Little by little. Before we have so much hatred for each other we can’t turn back. What do you contribute? Even funny little George Takei has caused so much inflammatory overreaction that he is actually being taken seriously.

Stop it. Now. There is no happy ending for a country who allows others to make us hate each other.

I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of  the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

Thomas Jefferson

There, I guess King George will be able to read that.

John Hancock

We must all hang together, or assuredly we will all hang separately. 

Benjamin Franklin 

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Competitive

competition

Anyone who has played a board game with me understands that I am a competitive person. Dunno why, guess I was just wired that way. Growing up, I was a confrontational softball player. Shocking, I know. When playing shortstop, I wouldn’t just tag a girl; rather, I’d wait for her to run into me and make sure that not only was she out, but she was on her ass in the baseline. Cuz that was fun. (True story, ask Sheila.)

Even in college intramural’s, we were all business for the 45 minutes it took to win until the clock turned to beer thirty. But then I grew older…and had kids. And got horribly out of shape. And forgot about that old competitive drive…or at least let it sleep for a bit.

THEN I found weightlifting. A sport where I could compete, in a weight class (75+ means no cutting, yeah 75+) with chicks my own age. Giddyup. The problem? I was a mediocre weightlifter. Oh sure, I did ok when judged across a board but I never found my groove and hated the warm up room. Snarky young chicks who had to strut their stuff and show ME how awesome they were. Uhhhh, you’re 20 years younger than me, you’re supposed to be awesome. Now give me back my plates and STFU.

When I did a Highlander Games in Wichita Falls, I found my niche. I got to throw a bit and strongman a bit. Huh? Fun stuff. The throwing went okay thanks to the help of Texas Belle Brittney Boswell.  See, Ms. Britt spoiled me on all future Highland Games events. She was kick ass; warm and friendly; and helpful. So of course I assumed ALL Highland Games chickas were as such. And for the most part, I’ve been right. For the most part.

The Highland Games has allowed my competitive spirit to come alive again and I love it. I don’t always do well, I don’t love that so much. Last August I was invited to Jason Clevenger’s Wisconsin State Games and did absolutely horrible. I almost killed him and a few others during the caber toss and that was pretty close to my best event of the day. Ugh. I had to apologize at the end of the day for not doing better for him. I felt bad. That’s me. Competitive. I don’t expect to beat the top throwers, but I do expect to do as well as I can and when I don’t, I’m pissed.

So I practice. And do drills. And practice some more. And do some more drills. And train. And watch and do everything I can to be as competitive as I can. That’s me.

And I’d be completely wrapped up in that if I were the only one on the field. But hey, guess what? I’m not. Hopefully I’m throwing with a whole awesome group of peeps whether it’s an Open class or a large group of women. That’s a special treat. See, throwing here in the midwest usually means a small group of us chicks so if there’s a big one, it’s awesome. Like Indiana a few weeks ago.

The dirty dozen. That was us. heh. Four in the Women’s masters and 8 in the open class. Some were new to the sport and some of us had been around for a whole year or so. Hardly old timers. Much like throwing with an entire new group last fall in Kirksville, meeting these ladies and spending a day on the field with them was a treat. As always, I learned a lot and made new friends.

Friends. See, whether I’ve known friends for years or for hours, you are treated the same. So when I hear after I’m long gone from the event that one of my new friends was told that she was never any kind of competition on the field that day, it makes me scratch my head in wonder. So, someone you just spent 7 hours with in the boiling sun; cheering for and supporting;  putting up with her constantly leaving the group and having to wait on her every turn to show back up, just called you out for not being any kind of competition?

Low rent. Low class. Hood. Mean girl mentality. Bully. STFU and say that when I’m around. All those phrases come to mind. Ya know what doesn’t go well with Highland Games? Mean girls. True story.

Now, here’s a little history on me.  I’ve never liked mean girls. The popular crowd in high school? They hated me. Why? Dunno. Don’t care. If I had the chance to tell them they’re stupid and to GFY, I would. So when I see the behavior repeated on the field from 40+ year olds? It’s high school all over again. It makes me angry and I will be the first to admit I don’t always handle my anger well.

So here’s the deal. As competitive as I am, it pales in comparison to how protective I am of my friends. It pales in comparison to how deeply I despise the behavior of mean girls. I don’t know what goes on in the mind of such a person, I really don’t care. All I know is that it has no business on a Highland Games field. As one of the volunteers stated as we were waiting, again, in the hot sun for the mean girl to show back up…”Be glad you’re not her.” Good point. Could be worse, could be clueless.

But hey, how about if we avoid all this uckiness? How about if we just behave and go by that old proven rule, if you can’t say anything nice, STFU and leave. At least I think it goes something like that.

Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.

Mean Girls

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