Top Ten facts of living with Super Heavy Strongman:
1. The house must have two bathrooms, one for him and one for the rest of the house. (Yes, the fact that this is #1 has meaning.)
2. All recipes will be tripled/quadrupled the protein sources. Plan accordingly.
2.1 All leftovers belong to said Strongman, 6000 calories per day needed don’t make themselves.
3. Gym bags (those holding arm or knee sleeves especially) MUST be kept away from any air supply ducts as to not allow the air quality of the home to become toxic.
4. It MUST be understood that if a heavy snowfall comes the day after a heavy training session, well, they’ll do their best. (You chicks without snowfalls have it easy.)
4.1 ALL training sessions are heavy. Duh.
5. NEVER stand in your Strongman’s blindspot. A blindspot is defined as any space under six feet tall and not directly looking into said Strongman’s eyes.
6. Understand pre-dinner. Pre-dinner is the food to go you get when you’re on your way TO dinner. Never allow your Strongman to enter a restaurant hungy. Normally patient and kind, your hungy Strongman will scare waitresses and you’ll never get served.
7. Accept that the heat in your Northern home will NEVER be set over 65 degrees, heat vents in bedrooms will be closed and windows will most likely be cracked.
8. Accept that these giant men have giant hearts and are much like puppies; i.e. Feed them and love them and they’ll be loyal to you forever.
9. The top of your refrigerator WILL look like shelves from the Vitamin Shoppe… with the addition of a 5# tub of Peanut Butter that must always be in stock.
10. The hugs you get from Strongman are the best. They’re enveloping; they’re honest; and there’s few places in the world that are safer.
HONORABLE MENTION: They make me look dainty!
If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible and die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor and that of his country-victory or death.
William Barret Travis