Up until a couple of years ago, watching the Today show at 7am was part of my morning routine. Cuz they’re awesome? Oh no. Because watching 10 minutes of the Today show would give me an entire day of stupid. Ann Curry is gone, thank god and now I’m mostly a radio girl so I have no idea what’s going on in the morning tv’s.  But on September 11, 2001, I tuned in to this…

I don’t know how you responded to the the attacks, but I just couldn’t get my mind around it. The fuck? It has to be a bad accident right? What in the hellz is going on? I got my twins off to school and had to run over to my folks’ house to return a table I had borrowed that weekend. I packed up one year old big baby Oz and we headed over. On the way, another plane crashed into the Pentagon.

Hearing it on WCCO, I knew my Mom and Dad would have it on. After all, they’ve been listening to ‘CCO in the morning since I was 5. When I pulled in, I came into the house and asked my dad if he’s heard what’s going on? In true Pastor John fashion, yes, he had heard about the attacks but had two meetings to go to and was in a scramble to get out of the house. Just put the table in the garage. Peace out.

Srsly? Possibly thousands of Americans have just been killed and you have meetings? Ok. Sheesh, welcome to my childhood.

But I was upset. I had already had lunch plans with a dear friend and we basically just sat in silence, as was the rest of the coffee shop. I finally bailed to go have lunch with the Z’s. Pizza was on their menu and they were pretty oblivious as to the happenings in their country. So I got to just look at them and listen to them be silly. Laughter really IS the best medicine. I got light hugs before they ran out to the playground, yes, even from Zac. Zac has never stopped giving me public hugs. He’s a good son. By the way, I was one of many parents there that day. Not much was said between us. Eyes were sad and confused and most refrained from squeezing their kid’s to the point of embarrassment.

I came home and put the Oz man down for a quick nap. Watched some more television and sobbed. W.T.F! Four planes. Thousands gone. Moms, dads, children. Simple people doing simple things. Gone. I was absolutely gobsmacked. Eventually in the afternoon my mum called to see if I were ok. Well, of course I was ok sitting in cornsville, Minnesota but that she took time out of her day to check in really meant a lot to me.

The rest of the day was a blur. We probably had homework; and hockey; and dinner, baths, and bed. But from 7am to 2:30pm, I can recall nearly every minute. By the next afternoon I had to turn it off. Too much, it was just too much sadness. Getting back to an earlier post, I had to remind myself that I was okay. My country wasn’t, but in that moment, we were. MY life hadn’t changed. We didn’t have to say goodbye to anyone, we weren’t waiting to hear if a loved one’s body would ever be found, we got up on September 12th just like we did on September 11th. And I’m thankful for it.

But to those thousands impacted by it whether by loss, or a new war, or job loss, or so many other countless ways that are unknown to the rest of us…thinking of you and how this Bad Day affected your life. I am so very sorry for your sorrow these last 12 years. While most of us take a moment out of our year to remember your loved ones, I acknowledge that you live with it each and every day. Peace and Aloha.

Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children.

President George W. Bush