It is a weekly occurrence when I pass over some silly person in their 30’s complaining about how old they feel. It is annoying enough for me to comment on, cuz, ya know…if I were in my 30’s I’d be storming castles and leaving a trail of dead in my wake. (**Writing ramped up for dramatical effect.)
Today’s inspirational came from some 38 year old dude I don’t know that was complaining about how destroyed his back is after so many years of squatting. First off, you’re 38. Even if you started squatting heavy before you were 18 (most likely squatting like a dickhead if you were taught form by your local high school football “coach”) you only have 20 years or so under the bar. That’s actually not a very long time. 20 years. See, when good S&C coaches teach someone to lift, we have the intentions that they’ll be lifting into their 80’s…or so. 60 years. 60 years is a long time to squat. And these folks will actually be feeling BETTER instead of used up at 38.
Second of all, if you hurt so bad from squats that you need to complain on the FB like a teenage girl or some attention whoring ice bucket dumper (don’t even get me started on that shit), then you’re either A) bone diseased in some way in which case you need to adjust your programming or 2. squatting like a dickhead. Obviously. Duh. But you’re a big strong guy so it couldn’t possibly be the fact that your form is atrocious. It couldn’t possibly be beneficial to go back to the basics and relearn a proper squat, right? (And no, I’m not talking about high bar/low bar. Good lord that argument is so fucking boring that I can’t believe people still argue it. I’d write about how boring it is but I’d be too bored when I’m writing. True story.)
Squats don’t hurt. Unless you’re at a meet and a girl and squatting 670 pounds at 168 pounds. Then it probably hurt a little. But it’s at a meet. And you’re a girl. (Another boring as fok argument, geared v. raw. BORING! My girl Shawna put 670 pounds on her back…bent her knees and squatted down…then came back up. You squat 515 raw and that makes you better? No dick, it doesn’t.)
Shawna had a right to bitch about being sore. Oh, but she didn’t. She talked about how pumped she was for her best squat ever. But see, she’s in her 40’s so is beyond the “I’m in my 30’s and sooooo sore that I have to bitch and moan about it” phase. (By the way, Congratulations Shawna! You’re amazing!)
I think maybe if you ride bulls for 8 seconds you get to complain about how sore you are if you actually make it to your 30’s and are still riding. (I also think you’re crazy but that’s another post.) I think if you’re a stunt man/woman you get to complain. I never see these guys complain but I think they’ve chosen paths that make you hurt, all the time.
Squatting? In your 30’s? STFU. Just stop and become another ‘merican couch potato cuz if you hurt this bad at 38? Just wait until 48…and 58…and 68. But maybe by then you’ll outgrow your need to attention whore about stupid stuff and just be thankful that you’re still squatting and contributing to society.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.