Actualllllllyyyy, That Hasn’t Happened In The History of History


Driving on our way home from Indy (and I have no idea why) I went on a little kick of saying in that little annoying “I’m right” way of drawing out your words, “Actualllyyyyy, that has literally never happened.” I crack myself up. True story. I’m sure it wasn’t annoying at all to Matt though cuz he loves me so I’m cute no matter what I do. ‘Nother true story.

We also talked about Steroids. WHUT? Ya, I said that. Scary eh?

Mention steroids in public and you quickly see two different groups of people with strong (albeit ignorant) opinions on what that means.   A) Those who believe that anyone who takes Testosterone will end up a Lyle Alzado with rampant roid rage before you finally die a shriveled up example of what you once were.  B) Those who believe that ANYONE taking testosterone is a CHEATER and looking for an easy way to win.

Ugh. First off, that CHEATER thing annoys the ever livin’ out of me. Because the majority of people are not using the word correctly. Yes, if you are in UST&F and they have written in their rules that you may not take A, B, and 3 because it is banned and then you take it,  you have broken their rules. You will be punished if you’re caught. However; if you take C, D, and 4 which is okay but is made up of a compound including B, you’re fucked. You’ve broken the rules. You may be punished if you’re caught. If the self righteous of the world need to throw a banner out saying they’re a cheater, okay. You’re obnoxious but okay. Cheating is correct when breaking the rules.

However! If you believe that taking A, B, and/or 3 is giving that athlete a significant advantage over all the “other” (yes, there is a reason “other” is in quotes and if you don’t know why then you’re sillier then you appear) non-positive athletes, then you’re a silly person. Your opinion is stupid and invalid. Because the reality of sports is…there is no even playing field. It doesn’t exist. If you believe this you really have no idea how high level athletics work.

There are people who can afford better coaches. There are people who learn and retain cues better. There are people with a 36″ vertical jump and those who compete with a 31″ vertical jump. There are those who have the luxury of training and practicing and not working. There are those who are starving athletes who thankfully now have GoFundMe to keep them going. There is China who will throw you dead in the river when you stop performing and grab the next in line. There are those that can join the NFL and do just fine and those that can not handle the influx of minor fame and large amounts of signing bonus and blow their chance before they even get their career off the ground.

There are those athletic groups of people who are short (we need a support group really.) We don’t get a handicap cuz we’re short. We suck it up and carry on.

Anyways. Wanting an even playing field in sports is not going to happen. Stop saying that. Wanting to succeed IN SPITE of an uneven playing field is a mind set that will keep you going for a long, long time. And that includes testosterone at some point. Why? Because many of these fringe sports include old guys. And by old? I mean 30. Yes. 30. People, there is a reason that Low T clinics are popping up all over ‘merika. Because men do not feel good on Low T. They become whiney; have low energy and drive;  gain weight, like girl weight not beer gut weight; they wear skinny jeans and scarves. And gym goers aren’t safe either. I’ve actually known quite a few men who train, are in their 20’s and have Low T. They pop over to the T clinic and feel better within a week. Huh, I guess if I could, I’d like to feel better by replacing a hormone that I ALREADY OWN but just at a too low level.

One of the first things I talk about with new clients, male and over 30, is asking them to get their T checked if they are showing symptoms of it being low. And I’m always right. Always. My advice is to get a prescription if you want to go that route and rectify the situation immediately but I do understand this is personal and I respect their choice if they’ve bought into the Government’s propaganda and think they’ll die if they get their T back up to what it was when they felt better.

What I WON’T respect is the self righteous attitude of those who think men wanting to thrive in an imperfect environment (being life, duh!) are trying to CHEAT their way through fringe sports. Shut up. First off, holier than though attitudes will always get my ire up (I like saying ‘ire up.’ It sounds nicer than pissed off.) Second off, you’re wrong. Cuz ya know what?

Taking testosterone has actually never, in the history of history made someone so good that they’ve CHEATED their way into a Championship. Grow up. Doesn’t happen. And if you believe that if all you did was take some T and suddenly you would blast past all those ahead of you and win, well, ya know… Actuallllyyyyy, that hasn’t happened in the history of history.

Ya know why you didn’t win? Cuz you’re not good enough, that’s why. Hurts doesn’t it? Tell me about it, I have a couple 2nd place finishes this year that hurts too. Not being good enough to win hurts, let’s all be adult about it and accept it. And then practice some more to try to fix it. TRY TO FIX IT. But stop whining about cheaters, it’s a sure sign of Low T and I’ll assume there’s not a clinic in your town you can pop down to and I’ll feel bad for you but not really.

You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.

Yogi Berra

Training Log

About tosabarbell

For training opportunities at tosabarbell, call or text Juli at 320-296-9313. e-mail to At tosabarbell, I build relationships cultivated in a strength and learning environment. There is no 12 week magic pill program to strength but rather a lifetime commitment to be the very best and most useful human you can be. tosabarbell is a private, home grown gym with three lifting platforms; squat rack; prowlers; throwing implements; bars, bumpers and everything else needed for an effective strength and conditioning program. Straightforward barbell programming including the Olympic lifts; sound (read: not fancy bullshit) diet advance for weight gain or loss; and strong coaching will ensure you will meet your goals such as becoming stronger, more explosive, and better conditioned. I have been coaching teams and athletes for over 30 years. I grew up participating in various sports at various levels but was always drawn to those that require strength training. I have multiple local, national, and world records in the sports of Weightlifting and Highland Games Heavy Events as well as a combined total of 5 World Championships. My 5 years of training and coaching under Mark Rippetoe provided a wide range of influence from some of the top strength & conditioning and throwing coaches in the country. I will strongly encourage tosabarbell athletes to compete (and prepare you to do so.) However, tosabarbell is also for those who wish to be stronger and go through life feeling better. Matt WanAt is a retired Professional Strongman who competed frequently with Strongman Champions League in Europe. He played a year of D1 football with Iowa before concentrating on his Chemical Engineering degree in Iowa City. He is a native of Wauwatosa and still remains a staunch supporter of Tosa East. This blog will be a mixture of strength notes, coaching and nutrition tips, personal shit; bacon delicacies, and a whole lot of fun.
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