We been talking a lot about intentions lately. Like, I say something in a snappy fashion and Hubby says, ‘you mad bro?’ and I’m all ‘wtf are you talking about?’ Now, of course I didn’t INTEND to sound snappish but all he gets is the result. The actual action. Huh.
Kind of important stuff. It got me thinking, at what point in life do we lose the ability to care about what our actual ACTIONS are and get completely caught up in what our INTENTIONS were? So, ya know, it doesn’t matter what we do, just what we intended to do. And if our actions are harming a relationship we care about, well, we can either pay attention and not give one flying fok about intentions; or we can be stubborn in our knowledge that we INTENDed something entirely different so the other person just has to chill and STFU.
Ooookayyyy, but then what happens when the other person is all, “I’m peace out bro, don’t care about your intentions anymore, just how you act towards me and how your energy darkens my day. Daily. CYa!” This has happened in my life, if it hasn’t in yours at some point I’d be surprised unless you’re under four years old and then really, you shouldn’t be reading this blog. There are people who I’d tell repeatedly that their behavior and destructive, negative energy towards me isn’t conducive to me being happy with myself but it didn’t matter. It only mattered that they “believed” they needed to say things “to find peace” with themselves. Their intentions are admirable (at least in their own minds.)
Sidebar on that: shut up. First off, if your God tells you that you need to lay your shit on someone else’s doorstep to “find peace?” You’re using God to be a jerk, I don’t even care if you “intended” it differently. I wonder if he likes that? If this is learned behavior because your parents have been doing it for, oh I dunno, 40 or so years and have driven away any hopes of a healthy, positive relationship but you think, “Ya, I’ll do that too.” You’re also an idiot. A jerk and an idiot. But hey, keep reading that Bible. It’s doing wonders.
Anyways.
At the end of the day, our relationships reflect what we bring to the table. Not what we intended to bring to the table. Obviously. If you need to be right, and alone, because others aren’t feeling your intentions, than you either need to pivot and give more priority to your actions. Or be alone. You can’t have both if your actions have a negative impact on others.
And when people do decide to ‘peace out’, you don’t get to wonder what happened. You know what happened, being right according to your intentions was more important to you than the real relationship you actually had. I’m sorry when people don’t get that.
I actually really am. It isn’t pleasant to repeatedly tell someone that you’ve moved on from the bad energy they bring to your life. They could change that, haven’t, so byebye. Life’s too short to put up with destructive behavior just cuz it’s difficult to cut someone loose. Snip snip, those are my intentions AND my actions. See how easy it is to have them be on the same page?
I have a low tolerance for people who complain about things but never do anything to change them. This led me to conclude the that single largest pool of untapped natural resources in this world is human good intentions that are never translated into actions.
Cindy Gallop
tosabarbell 