Monday Bacon: Ties in the NFL (and Other Fuckupfoolery.)


I dunno, if I go to Wembley stadium, I want to see something amazing. Like Muse; or Queen; or Jimi Hendrix. Not some snoozefest American football game. I can see those at home and still enjoy leftover Halloween candy and Halloween wine.

There’s a lol story here that encapsulates how I feel about NFL ties. My favorite line was, ‘The tie game in London might’ve been the first one that fans actually enjoyed because guess what: Everyone in England is used to ties.’ I chuckled out loud at that one.


Anyways. Since moving to Wisconsin, I have experienced a larger than normal type of fandom. Packer Backers are no joke. My favorite line that I’m confronted with at least once per season upon hearing that I’m from Minnesota and a Vikings fan is, ‘How many world championship rings do YOU have??!!’ My answer has been; Well none, I’ve taken second place at World Championships the last two years. Thanks for that pleasant little fucking reminder. That gets met with a confused look and a change of topic. Good, that was the goal.

Cuz I don’t care. Many Packer Backers care. And by “care” I mean they are unreasonably cuckoo about it. The majority of Milwaukee Packer Backers despise the Chicago home teams, go Indians. But they are devout Chicago Blackhawks fans. I. Can’t. Even. Now, if I wanted to hate a sports team, I would be very justified in hating the Chicago Blackhawks. They were the evil rival in the Norris division of the North Stars and when you went to a game at the old Met Center, you’re sure to see at least three scuffles between Blackhawks and Stars fans. But then Norm Green (another person I could hate since he took away our beloved Stars) took away our beloved Stars and pussified them down in Texas. (Not really, but kinda.)

There are many times someone will tell me that they don’t care about sports but then rage on their FB pages about teams they hate. Hate. A sports team. And it doesn’t matter if it’s college or Pro, these Cheeseheads hate across the board. Now, of course, other regions have their versions of fandom. I don’t doubt that there’s a crazy everywhere, maybe even in Minnesota (but prolly not.)

When the Z’s played hockey, I hated playing teams from New Ulm. Tell ya what, those Germans are no joke. Especially at tournaments. You could tell the drinks were flowing from sun up to sun down and if you played them in the afternoon or evening, you had dozens of drunk fans with cowbells screaming, “zigga zagga zigga zagga, OY OY OY!” with every score. OH, by the way, every score meant that the puck went by my daughter. Hockey goaltender Mom-ing ain’t for wimps. Tell ya what. But I didn’t hate the team. The team was made up of a bunch of little girls I didn’t know. Zandra’s High School team had some other fun rivalries and while it wouldn’t occur to me to hate them, her team beating them was awfully satisfying.

I was far more concerned with how she was doing and in the game of small town High School hockey, a loss meant that the goaltender failed at their job and every loss went solely on her shoulders. It was torture.

I’ve been a Vikings “fan” since I was a little girl because, well, I grew up in Minnesota and Dad was a Vikings fan. We went to Games. We went to see Carl Eller at Iten Chevrolet and there’s a picture out there somewhere of me sitting on his lap in my favorite red, knitted poncho. I mean, CARL ELLER! What’s not to love about this:



But when they lost, I didn’t get mad. There have been times through the years where they give you a slight heartbreak but then you move on. I dunno, I guess I learned from my dad that when they won an exciting game it was very exciting for about 10 minutes and then we’d go on to the next thing. When they lost, it would be disappointing for about 10 minutes and then we’d go on to the next thing. Perspective, Pastor John has it.

I watched one of the World Series games the other night, the one in Cleveland that Chicago won, when the camera panned the crowd at one point. A man was crying. Crying. I mean, really, if we know nothing we STILL know THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! But even if there was, how about not during Game 2 when your team is down. The most disturbing part of this man, is that while crying, he looked pissed. Like, I hope there wasn’t a sweet little wifey back at home who doesn’t care about baseball and asks, “Did you have fun at the game?” when he gets home and then he kicks the shit out of her cuz, well, he didn’t have fun at the game. Ya, probably a made up story but I’m going with it. I don’t want to know a grown man who’s crying at a baseball game unless he’s down on the field, wearing a jersey and you’ve just lost the whole show. Then, maybe a glistening tear is appropriate. The weird thing was that this man was sitting in pretty prime seats so it’s assumed he could afford prime seats but then was on the television crying at a baseball game. Dude. Srsly.

In general, I don’t care. I like when the Vikings beat the Packers because that’s fun and then my Packer Backer uncle up north buys us steak dinners. But if the Vikings lose the next one, we’ll buy and it will still be awesome because we get to spend time together. (My Uncle is a Master Clockmaker. He is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met and I could listen to his stories for hours and hours. He should do a TED talk on “time.” Seriously. He’s amazing.) He gets less annoyed now when the Packers lose but about 30 years ago I tried calling him to give him a hard time after a Vikings win and it wasn’t well received. Heh.

I can understand Collegiate alumni caring about a sports outcome. They still don’t get to cry about it but I understand. Our friends, Ross and Victoria, were throwers at Nebraska. She is a Big 12 Hammer champion, Vic is metal. Anyways. The first time I met them was at a Highland Games and Nebraska lost that day (football.) I was wondering who this crazy man was who cared so much about the ‘Huskers (I went to school in Nebraska, I understand the level of crazy there.) Turns out it was just Ross. But I kind of get that. You have four years of your life invested in a program where you were one. Again, you’ve invested. Got it.

To my knowledge, I know of no Packer Backers with NFL appointed World Championship rings being worn. But I don’t wear one either, even a non-NFL appointed Championship ring (a Championship ring would have cost over $300 and I chose not to get one. If I want to spend over $300 on jewelry, I’d want something in the form of a plane ticket somewhere. True story.) But I’m ready for that all important question of, “HOW MANY CHAMPIONSHIP RINGS DO YOU HAVE???!!!”

I can honestly answer, none-I chose not to order one but my Silver medal from World Championships in the other sport I compete in is hanging from my Championship bear and I’m pretty proud of it. I imagine that will still be met with confusion and followed by a topic change.

Good. That was the goal.

About tosabarbell

For training opportunities at tosabarbell, call or text Juli at 320-296-9313. e-mail to At tosabarbell, I build relationships cultivated in a strength and learning environment. There is no 12 week magic pill program to strength but rather a lifetime commitment to be the very best and most useful human you can be. tosabarbell is a private, home grown gym with three lifting platforms; squat rack; prowlers; throwing implements; bars, bumpers and everything else needed for an effective strength and conditioning program. Straightforward barbell programming including the Olympic lifts; sound (read: not fancy bullshit) diet advance for weight gain or loss; and strong coaching will ensure you will meet your goals such as becoming stronger, more explosive, and better conditioned. I have been coaching teams and athletes for over 30 years. I grew up participating in various sports at various levels but was always drawn to those that require strength training. I have multiple local, national, and world records in the sports of Weightlifting and Highland Games Heavy Events as well as a combined total of 5 World Championships. My 5 years of training and coaching under Mark Rippetoe provided a wide range of influence from some of the top strength & conditioning and throwing coaches in the country. I will strongly encourage tosabarbell athletes to compete (and prepare you to do so.) However, tosabarbell is also for those who wish to be stronger and go through life feeling better. Matt WanAt is a retired Professional Strongman who competed frequently with Strongman Champions League in Europe. He played a year of D1 football with Iowa before concentrating on his Chemical Engineering degree in Iowa City. He is a native of Wauwatosa and still remains a staunch supporter of Tosa East. This blog will be a mixture of strength notes, coaching and nutrition tips, personal shit; bacon delicacies, and a whole lot of fun.
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