Monday Bacon: Squats Didn’t Built That

We’ve all seen them, the amazing squat ass pictures. They usually have some motivating/shaming caption requiring us to believe in the fact that these women who have a 45″ perfectly rounded booty and 19″ waist have literally squatted their ass on. 

What’s wrong with this picture? Uhhhhh…no quads; no hamstrings; no nothing except a nice booty. But surly we believe that squats built dat ass, right? Cuz we’re stupid? Right?

Look, some women have nice ass’. Cuz they get one…for a while. They don’t have to train or anything, they just get a nice arse. I will be the second to admit that it looks awesome (Bigg was the first;) but it has nothing to do with squatting. So stop selling the snake oil. There are a lot of women who train, are strong and don’t end up with the body of a pin up girl. Obviously.

Well, you know, it’s really been, you know, quite a trip for me.

Patty Hearst

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Friday Jams

I ADORE Elton John. He is the ultimate entertainer. He IS the Piano Man; he IS the Walrus. He has spent his life making music for us to dance; laugh; boogie; cry to.

We watched him drive a crowd crazy with  his appearance at a George Michael concert and saw him drive a congregation to tears with his special rendition of ‘Goodbye England’s Rose’ for the service of Princess Diana.

Seeing him perform live is tops on my bucket list. Hopefully.

There are few times in life where I play the “I wish” game. I wish I could sing like Donna Summer; create a flower garden like Martha Stewart :throw like Adrian Wilson;  and play piano like Elton John. And then I wake up. Heh.

Enjoy the weekend.

And I’m afraid, in this day and age, trust, which I count so, you know, I love loyalty. I love trust.

Elton John.

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Got’cher Back

I have known a few people in life who have had catastrophic back injuries. Construction workers mostly. Men who lived for over 40 years in constant pain. In sleep and awake, they were never away from it. It terrified me as a youngster. Life’s lesson? Take care of your back.

Last week I tweaked my back enough to make me nervous. After the initial strain, I was able to gingerly walk to the gym locker room where I laid down on the floor and stretched for about a half hour. I was able to make it out by then, come home to ice and sit up in my favorite chair. But I was freaked. I’ve been making excellent progress the last two months and as much as I didn’t want to see that derailed, I really didn’t want to have a bad back for an extended period of time.

I rested Friday and started Saturday with some empty bar RDL’s and light deadlifts. Same goes for Sunday. By Monday I was feeling up enough to stick to my program; however; I radically decreased the weights and up’d the volume. Think 95# bench can’t cause soreness? Do enough and they will. That was after what seemed like 4000 light presses.

But I felt good and I was training.  I’ve also learned my lesson. The current program has me training M-TH with Friday off and the olympic lifts on Saturday. I’ve been going hard enough to be sufficiently exhausted and fatigued by Thursday’s and I’m done with that. I’m not recovering enough to stay healthy and most importantly, my back has gone from the “good tired” to the “bad sore” and leaving me open for injury.

I’m thankful to be smart enough to adjust and I’m incredibly thankful for a good back and the continued ability to train.

Take care of your backs and for those of you who have no idea how to coach the deadlift and allow novices to yank a bar off the floor without keeping the back locked in extension? You suck. Truth.

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.

Abraham Lincoln

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Outside the Window

My friend and fellow strength coach, Good Ryan, is spending time in Kabul, Afghanistan these days for work. He was there last fall, home for a bit, and back again. He posted some pictures yesterday that gave me pause and he was kind enough to let me use them here.

Yesterday was another Monday off school for the Oz man and we had the very serious duty of deciding whether to A) watch Braveheart on AMC for the 4,392nd time; B) have him try to teach me more of the Hobbit Lego xBox 360 game which didn’t go too well the first time; or C) play another “to the death” game of Uno. Pretty intense.

Then I saw this…

It’s so common for our world to be so small, that looking outside the window is more like looking in a mirror. The neighbors have about the same kind of house, about the same kind of car, and about the same kind of schedule. So often, our reality represents to us how the rest of the world is unless you are one of the lucky people who get to travel outside of your comfort zone here and there.

While I will not minimize the pressures and problems our children face, looking far outside the window, we can see the pressures and problems children in other societies face are quite different. I’m very thankful that my children have homes (or hotel rooms for my traveling construction worker); more than one days supply of clothes; and as much food as they can take in without too much trouble in getting it. And I can remember that not all kids are so lucky, here and abroad.

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

Mahatma Gandhi

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