And In Conclusion (that counts for three words, right?)

Posted on October 27, 2014 by tosabarbell

I got a lulz the other day when fellow thrower (and by ‘fellow thrower’ I mean we both throw, not that I’m on her level of awesomeness) Heather MacDonald (a teacher or professor, I don’t remember which title. The one where she grades papers, that I remember) had a run in with a student who didn’t like being marked off for saying, ‘and in conclusion’ on their last paragraph of an essay.

I remember that trick. Let’s see, I need a 1000 word essay so I start off with, ‘to begin with’ and end it with ‘and in conclusion.’ Heh. I suppose the world we live in now would add a ‘so’ to it. It would look something like this, ‘ and so in conclusion‘ for that added word. I’d probably add a couple of harshly typed “look”s in there too. For dramatic effect.

So here goes, in reference to the 2014 Highland Games season, And In Conclusion…

It started exactly 238 days ago from Saturday. In Columbus at the Arnold…

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I worked as hard as I knew how in the off season to prepare for it and, along with some very lucky bounces, pulled out the win. It was in the snow, and by snow I mean an all out snow storm.  Throwing WOB straight into snow and hoping you just stay on your frozen feet. That kind of snow. (I’ll refrain from mentioning that those soft Pro’s decided to throw in the beautiful spring sunshine the day before to avoid such conditions. It would be rude to point out that ladies in their 40’s and up are tougher than those soft Pro’s. I don’t want to be rude. They’re nice guys. Just soft;)

Anyways. The Arnold was a once in a lifetime event for me. In that, even if it’s offered again, you’d have a hard time talking me into it. It was cold. Too cold. That we all walked away without injury was something I’m very thankful for. But I’m too old and, I guess, too soft for it.

From Ohio to Illinois and Merl Lawless’ Shammies with the Ancient Athletic crew (I really do heart throwing for Merl. His prizes are always off the hook and this time we even enjoyed a Ceilidh afterwards.) April was Jason Clevenger’s backyard games where, thankfully for us, it only hailed and rained on Jason and crew setting up. (heehee, sorry Jason;) Beautiful spring sunshine for the rest of the day with some of our favorite throwers was perfect made better by a grill out afterwards. Numms.

We took a break in May for that wedding thing and hit the local Games here in ‘tosa (it’s toe-sa, not to ss-a) which was even MORE fun when Jason came up for it along with Katie and Luke. Katie won by the way and by won I mean she beat Luke because it’s an open field. Girls rule and boys drool.  THEN I had the great idea, a couple weeks later, of throwing in a partial Games Friday night in Chicago and hot stepping it to Indiana for a full Games the next day with the Stout Barbell crew. Never again. Our Games in Chicago ran late and hey, did you know when you go to Indiana from Wisconsin you lose an hour? You did? Why didn’t you tell me? OH! And the next Sunday Matt got to get on a plane for the Middle East. Sound like fun? Really? Cuz it actually wasn’t. Well, the Indiana was an absolute blast and if we could have transported ourselves back to ‘tosa without the drive it’d have been super duper. But we couldn’t, so it sucked. I’ve assured Matt that when I have these hair brained ideas again, I won’t snap at him if he tells me that it’s not a good idea. I mean, I’ll probably still think he’s wrong cuz by next season I’ll have forgotten how awful it was but at least I won’t snap at him. So there’s that.

Enter us limping into July. Not good. At the time of the season where we should just be ramping up for greatness, we were tired. Lesson learned. FoShizzle.

July brought Minnesota and throwing for Jeff Bryan who ensured that the meat pies, port O potty, and beer tent were strategically placed right next to the throwing field. Plus one for Jeff Bryan (actually plus 1000 cuz he’s really quite wonderful to throw for.)

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One of my better photobombs of the season with the Minnesota boys.

The chilly rain put a slight damper on the day but I threw my HWD with the 28# PR that day in the pouring rain.  I also PR’d my Sheaf with the help of Jessica Hare so it was a great day. Next year the big guy comes with me and we utilize the location to enjoy the meat pies and beer tent more. True story.

July closed out with Enumclaw and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If we can make Portland next year and spend a week in the PNW, we’re in. Fingers crossed. I’ve written about the wonderful and the sad that revolved around Enumclaw so I won’t add anything else. I will say that it is an absolute delight to watch the Women and Men’s Pro classes throw. They are amazing and I’m thankful for it. Being able to help shag for part of the day on my off day(by the way, don’t say you’ll shag in Scotland. It means fuck. Lesson learned) makes me happy because I’m so thankful to be there but it didn’t wear me out like last year. Not knowing how to handle the Caber bit me in the arse but I had an amazing day and even got the Vincent brothers to pose with the Gamesminion:

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He was a bit scarred after that but recovered quickly when I told him that Matt won the World Championship. So I guess it’s okay to be brutalized by a world champion. Good to know. Moving on.

Look! I knew August was going to be a challenge with three Games scheduled but I thought I had a plan on how to handle it. I was wrong, I drove myself into the ground. Another lesson learned. Throwing for Clevenger two times is an absolute treat. I could go on and on and on and on about how awesome he and Jane are but most folks already know that and this is sposed to be an “in conclusion.” The Wisconsin State Games and the Throwing for the Cure Games are staples in our schedule and we learned it takes a little more than constant pouring rain to dampen our fun. (Get it? Rain? Dampen?) Again, throwing with Sue, Ruth, Katie, Elissa, Candice and even a few ladies I hadn’t thrown with before including author Annie Marshall was super cool. Plus, Katie keeps tempting fate with her back and wants pictures of me on it. I worry I’ll break it but what the hell, the chick is stronger than most…

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The Games themselves were just fine. Where I went wrong was in my recovery. I threw too much. Next year when it gets busy like this, I’ll only drill and do very few full throws once a week. That’s it. If I’m lucky enough to run down to Clevenger’s for practices with a great group of folks, I keep it to two events. Caber and a height event. I ended up throwing every event down there the equivalent of two Games worth of reps and it destroyed me. I limped out of August at the Waukesha local Games (more rain, goodie) and was so very tired. My numbers showed it too by the way. Shocking.

Well, ya know, then there was Scotland and Swindon. I’ve gone on ad nauseam about Scotland but holy crap, what a ride. If I only had one word to describe Scotland it would be ‘Thankful.’ For the opportunity; the friends; the food and malts; the laughs; the hugs; the throwing; the prizes; the celebration of Highland Games; the Scots; the entire experience. It’s not too shocking that I came home from the GBR a little fluffy and a lotta tired. But I had the end in sight. Bonfire and Bagpipes with Kevin Nies was absolutely stunning, as it was the year before. It is an absolute gift to be able to throw at this one. Indiana was the last for Matt and one last round of hugs for the year with these folks were treasured. Mike and Amy Huth; Dawn and Sue; Tracey and David; Jeremy and Ashley (congrats by the way you two on your engagement!) John O’Connor, Rob and Rachelle. I know there’s more I’m forgetting. An absolute blast!

And then this weekend in Texas. After Indiana, as tired as I was, I committed to working as hard as I could to be prepared for Texas especially since it was a Team challenge and I wanted to step things up for my mates. But then fall hit ‘tosa and the rain prevented me from doing too much throwing. Oh sure I did drills in the gym but only few days of actual throwing. And then suddenly two days before I flew out, I realized that I felt better than I had in a long time; had the best pre-Games practice since July, and felt completely prepared.

And it worked. I PR’d seven events and tied my sheaf PR. On my last Games. So in conclusion, more drills. Less full reps once I start getting tired. Take it easy in the gym. Walks. Good food. Rest. Someone remind me to read this next July. It works.

Our team won this weekend. Of course I’ll be a dick and say “obviously.” Heehee. But we really did have a great group of women and throwing with Teresa Nystrom again (this time in 90 degree heat, last time in the Arnold snowstorm) was really quite awesome. Her positive energy and huge smiles throughout the day kept us going and getting to know Amber, DeeDee, Bonnie, and Breah was an absolute treat. Great women and if there were a better way to finish out a season than by a team win with these ladies I have no idea what that would look like (maybe winning the lottery after the Games?) Well done ladies!

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While eating dinner at a food truck food court after the Games, Michael Dickens asked if it was okay he spost a picture with me flipping off the camera on the Facebook. Precious. I’m all, uhhhh ya dude, it’s my thang.

There are thank you’s, so many. The hard part of the thank you’s is my fear I’ll forget some (knowing I will.) I hate that.

First, of course, to my (now) husband who supports and bankrolls most of this throwing stuff. I am incredibly fortunate to have his support, I know that. Throwing with him in Games this year was lots of fun and the amount of times I’d hear from other ladies on the field say ‘my husband has a man crush on your husband’ I’d just smile and say, ‘ya, that happens a lot actually.’ He’s the best. If you’ve met him you know that’s a true story.

Jason Clevenger, I’d be half the thrower this year without him and his dragging his stuff out on a precious day off so that a bunch of us are better prepared for Games. I am so thankful for Jason and Jane’s friendship and support. Brian and Jessica Hare, if all I did was watch more videos of Brian throwing the hammer I’d have been better already. But their coaching (mostly Brian’s but it was always a treat when Jess was around) gave me tools to be better. It’s still coming and has just started to click but I know I’m on the right track. I’ll do more sessions with him this winter up in the Great White North if he’s game. He’s a great coach and I’m lucky to have him. Mindy Pockoski, that she has such a strong impact on my throwing through e-mails and a few videos showcases how awesome a coach she is. If you haven’t bought the Contrarian Approach to Throwing yet I’ll just assume you don’t want to be a better thrower. OH! And if you’re in my class of throwers, please don’t. Kthxbye. On that same note, the Training Lab and other training tools by Matt Vincent. I ran his program from day one of the off season last year and came into the Arnold in fighting shape. I’ll take some more time to recover right now but when I’m ready for those 10×10’s, I’ll hit it with gusto.

There are many, many people who dropped a cue or two throughout the season. Many, and it made a positive impact. Mark Wechter, Michael Dickens, Jeremy Gillingham, Craig Smith, Adriane Wilson, Michelle Crownhart, Spencer Tyler, judges whose names I don’t know, Duncan, Jason, Sue, Ruth, Katie, Jessica, Brian, Luke. World Champion Hans-Dieter Dorow who took the time to show me what I was doing wrong with the WOB on the airplane ride back from Inverness. I have PR’d my last two WOB’s, I am forever grateful. The A.D.’s who forego having a life during the Games season just so we can throw on a kilt, drink some scotch and have a blast. It is an honor to throw for each and every one of you. The judges and so many people who serve supporting roles.  My fellow throwers, Mona, Michaela, Dawn, Tracey, Michelle, Katie, Jess, Elissa, Victoria, Teresa, so many. Many of the elite throwers who set such wonderful examples on how to not only excel at sport, but be a ton of fun and good to other people at the same time. I value that. It’s special about the Highland Games.

Damn, I know I’m forgetting people. Merl and the Ancient Athletics crew, Clevengers, the TCAA and Ms. Brittney. Wally and The Queen and their crew. Kevin Rogers and Gerry Reynolds. Mike and Amy Huth and John O’Connor. Jeff and Kevin.  Hoss and Candy Sprinkles, Max and Yvonne, Melanie and Staci…Scotland would have been completely lackluster without you. Big Daddy, Mr. Matchmaker, we heart you long time. There are some of you out there in Highland Games land that are incredibly entertaining. I’m not dropping names but you who lulz me or show a simple sign of support, thank you.

My support staff. KCon, little Con, adopt-a-Con in a snowstorm. Jeff and Jess for Texas taxi service and an amazing dinner. My Seattle fam, the Oz man, the Z’s and Dan (if you don’t have an awesome ex-husband, I’m sorry. I do.)

So long 2014 season, you were grand.

Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

Michael Jordon

Training Log

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Top 10…point 5

Posted on October 23, 2014 by tosabarbell
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Laszlo and Akos with their kilo of meat at Csalanosi Csarda

Matt and I received an incredibly generous wedding gift card from his work mates at Sentry last spring to be used at a Bartolotta restaurant.  The Bartolotta brothers have been running restaurants here in Milwaukee for over 20 years; have had a James Beard Award winning chef at their Lake Park Bistro, and multiple four star reviews. They have 11 different restaurants and although the original plan was to enjoy a steak at their Mr. B’s steakhouse, we took a look earlier this week to see what else was out there.

Enter the Rumpus Room, a gastro pub downtown with an interesting menu and great cocktails. That they are downtown and we rarely go downtown was a plus, the winning entry was bacon for an appetizer. Done.

Our meal and cocktails was one of the best I’ve ever had. Which sparked a fun conversation on the way home, what are the top 10 best meals of life have we had?

Now there are some ground rules here. First, it’s not just a food thing. Atmosphere and service are key. Our waiter last night was tops. Absolute tops. It turns out, he’s also a competitive (or was) cross country sprint skiier who missed out on qualifying for the Sochi Olympics by two spots. Just six weeks ago he hung up his ski’s; moved to the big city from up north ‘sconsin and hasn’t lifted a weight for the first time in his life since he was a kid. OH! He ALSO grew up in New Hampshire so when we mentioned Highland Games he knew exactly what we were talking about since Loon Mountain was right up the road from his crib and he’s been going for at least 10 years. So cool.

The bartender at Rumpus Room is top notch, another plus. He’s a chemist with booze and takes pride in his drinks. Our waiter said he had a blast with us and Matt’s rum flight and our post dinner drinks. We’ll definitely be going back just for a cocktail and to pick the bearded bartenders brain on making some of these at home.

Along with atmosphere and service, overall experience and quality of food adds to the ratings. So here’s my Top 10…point 5 (I needed another slot but it’s not far enough behind number 10 to give it number 11. Shit’s complicated.)

1. Csalanosi Csarda: Budapest

That they serve meat platters weighed in kilos is the tip of the iceberg. That members of the Hungarian Gipsy orchestra will serenade you during this amazing dinner is still on the tip of that iceberg. That we got to share this with new Hungarian Strongman friends who take so much pride in their country and the food was bonus. But the food. Ohhhhhh the food. The fish soup that cost the equivalent of a Starbucks grande bold black eye with cream was one of the most delicious things I’ve ever tasted (and a taste is all I got because it was Matt’s.) My liver and steak was out of this world. Seriously. I’m a little sad that I know it’ll be a long time again before I can eat this food again. By far, it was the best meal I’ve ever had in my life. Appropriate for a honeymoon memory. (By the way, we ate Nachos after training with Akos, Laszlo and their wives a couple of days before at a place called Dallas and those were the best Nachos I’d ever ate in my life.)

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2. Rumpus Room: Milwaukee

Yup. Number two. We were there for over three hours to just enjoy. That’s also a key to the “best of’s”, just sitting and enjoying food, each other, and the feel of a good restaurant. Mostly. Anyways.

The apps and cocktails we enjoyed pictured above was just the beginning. Matt’s Cuban sandwich and my Berkshire braised pork (my Hawaiian cousin is a Berkshire pork farmer in Iowa so I asked if the meat came from Iowa. It was Wisconsin pork but that’s okay. It was numms) shoulder was absolutely stunning. Served up in a small Wisconsin shaped cast iron pot with sweet potato puree was extra cute too. When Matt told the waiter that he had a bite of mine the waiter quickly came back with, “just one bite though right?” He was right. That’s all Matt got. We’ll be back. That makes me happy.

3. Torto Dvaras: Vlnius

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Sample of Torto Dvaras food

When we taxi’d over to the Old Town portion of Vlinius, Lithuania we would try to get a feel of the menus through broken english and just putting our faces on the windows to get a peek at folks food. This was my first experience at Eastern European food at rock bottom prices. Our table looked much like the one above, so much food for about $70 American. I know the table next to us was watching at how much food we kept ordering, heh. They also serve up the bill in their own cigar style box…which I have…in front of me. Imagine that.

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Soup Dumplings

4. Soup Dumplings: Brooklyn

I’ve written before about how Matt had one request of our trip to Brooklyn last January, Chinese food in China town. Specifically, soup dumplings. So much so that I put a ban on the words “soup dumplings” until I ate them. Then I understood the obsession. Paulie and AoD picked us up from the airport and whisked us away to the fourth greatest meal of my life. As much as I loved the soup dumplings, the Peking duck was my favorite. Absolutely mouth watering. We’re heading back there again in January, guess where we’ll ask our first stop to be???

5. Pepe’s Pizza: New Haven

Frank Pepe’s immigrant story of making it in America from Italy, illiterate and poor is stuff of legend. Only slightly less impressive as his pizza (or ‘ah-beets) as it was called in his native Italian. We stopped in after a barbell cert. weekend in Milford, CT and the stop has ruined me on pizza since. OH! During the stay (we took one bite of our first round of pizza’s and quickly ordered more) I ran to the restroom and when we came out, Pepe’s grandson was going through receipts at a back table. So, me being me, I grabbed a pic with him…

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Pepe’s grandson

It was pretty thrilling. True story. As I mentioned, after one bite of our first round we quickly ordered another one. They suggested their signature pizza with clams. Ummmmm, clam pizza? HOKAY!!

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Pepe’s Clam Pizza

It was different, and amazing. Seriously, I’ve given up trying to find impressive pizza since Pepe’s. I don’t eat it very often and am just resigned to the fact that I’ll have to hit Pepe’s again to find contentment. And no, don’t start telling me to go to “x” for the best pizza. If you haven’t had Pepe’s, you don’t get an opinion.

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6. Backstrap: Rip’s

I’d heard about the glaze Rip made with his back strap but the talk didn’t do it justice. Of the many things I learned from my time with the Texas crew, I’m probably most thankful for the lesson to enjoy food. Often up to that point I knew I liked good food, but didn’t put together the effort to actively enjoy good flavors. Until then. Good food, good wine. Good back strap.

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Mmmmmmm, backstrap.

7. Steak: Welbourn’s

I love steak. Always have. My dad was the master griller of steaks, he also added pats of butter to each bite. Heh. A good rare steak, that’s how  you ate them in our house no matter how old you were. I also love eating steaks at home, much more than eating them out. I want to sit in comfy clothes; with my excellent bottle of $14.99 wine that would cost me $45 at a restaurant. A grilled steak is scrumptious but I’m just as happy cooking it on a cast iron pan and finishing it in the oven.

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When we were in Huntington Beach for a barbell cert, we popped over to John Welbourn’s house (pre-twins) for dinner and he just got a shipment in of grassfed beef. So we ate it. I think all of it. Welbourn grilled, the wine was never ending and eventually after falling asleep at the table I just went and laid down on the couch where Justin was already sleeping. It was a grand evening.

But those steaks. Mmmmmmmmm.

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Justin, Sheaffer and Josh enjoying the steaks.

8. Haggis: Scotland

When we got into Inverness, the restaurant across the parking lot of our first night’s hotel stated that Wednesday was Pie Day. Wellll, hokay! Let’s eat Pie! It was so delicious that I stated to the waitress I was worried that we started too big. Would we eat another meal that could be as good?

Silly Jules. By Sunday afternoon, it had occurred to me that we hadn’t ate enough Haggis. We WERE in Scotland after all and needed to eat Haggis dammit! Well, Gerry Reynolds started that off with our athlete dinner towards the end of the competition. The haggis and tatties and neeps (turnips and potatoes) were so soundly effective in refueling us for the rest of the evening it was exactly what we needed. And so nummy. But that was just round 1 for the evening.

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Round two was about five hours later at the tastle cavern which was even better than the first round. Which, again, kept us going for another two to three hours of drinking. Thank you haggis.

Now, it may be that I’ve had better food than this haggis, neeps, and tatties but I had just finished the most thrilling competitions of my life; in Scotland; with my husband and new good friends; and old friends; and Scotch. Haggis…in Scotland.

9.  Seattle/Mukilteo/Whidbey Island

We tried to come up with just one Seattle meal to add to the list but we just couldn’t. Penn Cove Mussels; Henri’s donuts; Auntie’s meatloaf (and Matt wanted me to get in Auntie’s homemade english muffins) ; Uncle’s grilling; new friends giving me their daughter’s left over pasta so I had some carbs to fuel competition the next day with Mt. Rainier view; Ivar’s, and I know I’m missing some. OH! Oysters and clams. And I STILL know I’m missing some. We eat well and fellowship well in the PNW and we know next year will be even better!

But our time with Auntie and Uncle, Paul and Denise and their families? They are treasured and only made better by all the amazing food.

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Auntie’s meatloaf from this past July visit. I still need to make this!

10. Curry in Scotland

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This picture makes my heart so happy.

When Stephanie said that they wanted to find the best Curry restaurant in Inverness, I was all ‘ummmmm, maybe we’ll pass.’ I don’t do spicy well (salt is a spice ya know) and was a bit afraid that I’d be hungry. Matt loves curry and we quickly came to love our new friends so I took one for the team and sally’d forth. The beautiful part, of course, was that I loved it. Everyone took very good care of me while they popped my curry cherry and the evening was one of my all time favorite dinners. But it makes me miss my friends. Poor me.

Point 5…Herd’s:

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I don’t remember which trip I had made down to Wichita Falls where we went to Herd’s for the first time. I just remember how the double/double burgers tasted. They literally melt in your mouth and as much as I know I’ve written about them before, I just can’t do a food favorite list without putting them on here. I miss Herd’s. Mostly more than anything down in Texas. (Ya ya, I miss people too, blah blah blah.)

I have been very fortunate to enjoy good food. Not everyone can, I know that. There were times where I enjoyed any food, because having it was sometimes not an automatic. As much as I do not believe that food can bring happiness, I DO believe that it can be enjoyed. With people we love, in places near or far, and having it is a gift. And that’s the best thing of all.

Swearing is industry language. For as long as we’re alive it’s not going to change. You’ve got to be boisterous to get results.

Gordon Ramsey

I consider a bottle of wine a single serving.

Brian

Training Log

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Monday Bacon: Amazon vs. Drug Addict

Posted on October 20, 2014 by tosabarbell

I saw a post the other day by a gym owner friend of mine down in Atlanta. Heidi mentioned the advantage young girls have today by having women who appear strong to look up to. This sparked another conversation with a friend of mine about body issues when we were young girls.

It got me thinking on who MY role models were growing up and how it affected my body image. I think until about the 9th grade, it was this girl…

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Yup. Wonder Woman. I’ve written in the past about getting comic books on the way up to the Cabin. Damn I wish I still had those. Not because they’re worth any money, but because illustrators drew her strong and powerful without the slutty aspect she has now. But strong, she just looked strong. Big shoulders (check); small waist (I don’t know if I’ve ever had one of those though); big legs (check); boobs (check); cool airplane (when I’m on an airplane I pretend it’s invisible.) True story. I’m pretty sure I gave out some of these on Valentine’s Day too:

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She was also smart and fierce. I liked that. Anyways.

Around the 9th grade, something happened to change my view of how young women should look and my body image took a turn for the worst.  This:

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My mom bought me a subscription to Seventeen magazine. Before that the only magazine I’d ever read was Sports Illustrated. I think she was trying to fem me up. While I was a tomboy, I still curled my feathered bangs and wore too much eye make up so I didn’t really think I needed femming up. But a style change was probably necessary since I ran around in sneakers and sweats most of the time (so nothing’s really changed.) Suddenly though, I noticed that the ideal body type (according to Seventeen magazine) was tall and thin. Two things I never was nor ever will be.

But I didn’t know that then. All I knew was short and curvy was what I had to deal with and that wasn’t cutting it. So how do I get tall and thin? Keep reading Seventeen magazine I guess. Also, the clothes. I didn’t have the clothes that Seventeen magazine said I needed to start school off right. I don’t think the models of Seventeen magazine had a Pastor for a dad (ever heard of a rich Pastor? No, Joel Osteen isn’t a pastor, he’s a celebrity. Like the Kim Kardashian of the Christians.) So what I lacked in funds I made up for in creativity by hitting the bins at Ragstock (there actually was a real Ragstock before they went into the Ugly Christmas sweater business ya know) and putting my own twist on things. Not really what my mom had in mind; however; she did like that I could buy all of my school clothes shopping for about $48.93. (I’m still a consignment shopper unless I really feel like splurging and hit the new clothes racks of TJ Maxx.)

Anyways. I neither looked like the models or had the money to support looking like the models. And that messed with me for a while. Suddenly confident Wonder Woman’ish Jules wasn’t so confident. And ya know what? That get’s my ire up. That I let those stupid magazines mess with me.

I started looking around me and compared myself to other girls. We had a few that were very Seventeen magazine. One comes to mind whose name was Kelli Ferrick. Long legs, the best Jordache and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, perfectly feathered Farrah hair. Tall. She was tall too. Of course. She may have been nice. I dunno. I hated her. She was everything that I would never be and I’m just not very proud that at one point in my life that mattered to me.

But then I went to college in Nebraska and a girl by the name of Jill Fox (her friends called her Fill Jox, I thought it was cute) saved me.  Though Jill and I were on friendly terms, I never really knew her. But my college work study was in the Athletic office so I was in the athletic complex about as much as I was in class, although I actually went to work and didn’t skip like class. I got to watch many of the athletes, especially the T&Frs practice. Jill was a thrower, taller than me (who isn’t) and strong looking. Sure she was bigger than the sprinters but she just looked strong. Ahhhhh, THAT’S what used to be important to me.

Strong. Fierce and strong. Like this:

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I grabbed hold of that body image and never looked back.

Oh sure, there are moments where the “I wish” game is played. In Scotland when I first ran into friend and new World Champ Mona Malec, I looked up at her and literally wondered if I were standing in a hole. WTF! I asked her if she had grown taller since Enumclaw. FoShizzle. But at the end of the day, this is what I have to deal with so I’ll try to make the most out of it. Including getting it into better shape when this season is over (six days. Six days.) That I can do, be a better me.

I never bought my daughter a Seventeen magazine subscription and when my mom asked if she should as one of Zandra’s Christmas gifts I told her no, we can find something more appropriate for my tomboy who straightens her hair and wears too much eye make up. She’s good. Has a good body image for the most part (when she was in first grade she told me once that her gymnastics leotard made her look fat. I laughed. But I let her wear a tshirt and shorts after that.) OH! I will say that it’s not my mom’s fault for getting me a Seventeen magazine subscription. So I don’t want to hear any, Oooooo so you blame your mom, bullshit. The gift came from the right place. I know that. Live and learn.

But strong is still in. It’s still worthy of being mentor to young girls. And Seventeen models? Well, at least one above did really well for herself. Until she became a drug addict and died in a bathtub. I would probably consider that the opposite of strong. No thanks.

The mark of a great sportsman is not how good they are at their best, but how good they are at their worst.

Martina Navratilova

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Actualllllllyyyy, That Hasn’t Happened In The History of History

Posted on October 14, 2014 by tosabarbell

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Driving on our way home from Indy (and I have no idea why) I went on a little kick of saying in that little annoying “I’m right” way of drawing out your words, “Actualllyyyyy, that has literally never happened.” I crack myself up. True story. I’m sure it wasn’t annoying at all to Matt though cuz he loves me so I’m cute no matter what I do. ‘Nother true story.

We also talked about Steroids. WHUT? Ya, I said that. Scary eh?

Mention steroids in public and you quickly see two different groups of people with strong (albeit ignorant) opinions on what that means.   A) Those who believe that anyone who takes Testosterone will end up a Lyle Alzado with rampant roid rage before you finally die a shriveled up example of what you once were.  B) Those who believe that ANYONE taking testosterone is a CHEATER and looking for an easy way to win.

Ugh. First off, that CHEATER thing annoys the ever livin’ out of me. Because the majority of people are not using the word correctly. Yes, if you are in UST&F and they have written in their rules that you may not take A, B, and 3 because it is banned and then you take it,  you have broken their rules. You will be punished if you’re caught. However; if you take C, D, and 4 which is okay but is made up of a compound including B, you’re fucked. You’ve broken the rules. You may be punished if you’re caught. If the self righteous of the world need to throw a banner out saying they’re a cheater, okay. You’re obnoxious but okay. Cheating is correct when breaking the rules.

However! If you believe that taking A, B, and/or 3 is giving that athlete a significant advantage over all the “other” (yes, there is a reason “other” is in quotes and if you don’t know why then you’re sillier then you appear) non-positive athletes, then you’re a silly person. Your opinion is stupid and invalid. Because the reality of sports is…there is no even playing field. It doesn’t exist. If you believe this you really have no idea how high level athletics work.

There are people who can afford better coaches. There are people who learn and retain cues better. There are people with a 36″ vertical jump and those who compete with a 31″ vertical jump. There are those who have the luxury of training and practicing and not working. There are those who are starving athletes who thankfully now have GoFundMe to keep them going. There is China who will throw you dead in the river when you stop performing and grab the next in line. There are those that can join the NFL and do just fine and those that can not handle the influx of minor fame and large amounts of signing bonus and blow their chance before they even get their career off the ground.

There are those athletic groups of people who are short (we need a support group really.) We don’t get a handicap cuz we’re short. We suck it up and carry on.

Anyways. Wanting an even playing field in sports is not going to happen. Stop saying that. Wanting to succeed IN SPITE of an uneven playing field is a mind set that will keep you going for a long, long time. And that includes testosterone at some point. Why? Because many of these fringe sports include old guys. And by old? I mean 30. Yes. 30. People, there is a reason that Low T clinics are popping up all over ‘merika. Because men do not feel good on Low T. They become whiney; have low energy and drive;  gain weight, like girl weight not beer gut weight; they wear skinny jeans and scarves. And gym goers aren’t safe either. I’ve actually known quite a few men who train, are in their 20’s and have Low T. They pop over to the T clinic and feel better within a week. Huh, I guess if I could, I’d like to feel better by replacing a hormone that I ALREADY OWN but just at a too low level.

One of the first things I talk about with new clients, male and over 30, is asking them to get their T checked if they are showing symptoms of it being low. And I’m always right. Always. My advice is to get a prescription if you want to go that route and rectify the situation immediately but I do understand this is personal and I respect their choice if they’ve bought into the Government’s propaganda and think they’ll die if they get their T back up to what it was when they felt better.

What I WON’T respect is the self righteous attitude of those who think men wanting to thrive in an imperfect environment (being life, duh!) are trying to CHEAT their way through fringe sports. Shut up. First off, holier than though attitudes will always get my ire up (I like saying ‘ire up.’ It sounds nicer than pissed off.) Second off, you’re wrong. Cuz ya know what?

Taking testosterone has actually never, in the history of history made someone so good that they’ve CHEATED their way into a Championship. Grow up. Doesn’t happen. And if you believe that if all you did was take some T and suddenly you would blast past all those ahead of you and win, well, ya know… Actuallllyyyyy, that hasn’t happened in the history of history.

Ya know why you didn’t win? Cuz you’re not good enough, that’s why. Hurts doesn’t it? Tell me about it, I have a couple 2nd place finishes this year that hurts too. Not being good enough to win hurts, let’s all be adult about it and accept it. And then practice some more to try to fix it. TRY TO FIX IT. But stop whining about cheaters, it’s a sure sign of Low T and I’ll assume there’s not a clinic in your town you can pop down to and I’ll feel bad for you but not really.

You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.

Yogi Berra

Training Log

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