First off, I don’t know anything about this Bieber kid. He may be very nice. I have no idea what he does, I’ve heard he sings but have never heard a song of his. I’ve heard he’s a heart-throb to young female teens but others say he’s a fag so that’s confusing. He’s a celebrity, I understand that. And since the press decides who we admire, they’ve decided he’s it. For now.
In traditional fashion, they (the Press) also tell us what type of body shape we should admire. Yes, I know. Kate Moss’s ‘coke skinny’ has been all the rage for years. Since I never aspired to fit that mold, it never phased me. But J.H.M.F.C., when they say this:
…is an example of “Perfect Pecs”? It pisses me off.
You know who the ultimate “fail” award goes to in all of this? These stupid mothers who want to be their daughters best friends and find that adoring the body of a permanently pre-pubescent, low testosterone’d (oops, I said the T word) “male” prevents their daughters from wanting to drop their pants for something like this:
…when they get older. Because wouldn’t it be so cute if your daughter could share her boyfriend’s jeans when they get to that stage? Awwww…they’re both a size six. Precious.
Fuck that. Newsflash: men are big and strong. If they’re not, they’re lacking. Sorry (but really I’m not.) It’s a mothers job to put over a half gallon of whole milk; a pound of bacon; and at least another pound or two of some other type of meat on the table each day. We celebrate our 12 year old’s reaching over 155 pounds and doing farmers carries in the driveway. Are we concerned about childhood obesity? Uhhhhh, no. Duh. Our boys train. And those of you with daughters? We instill now that our daughters will be independently strong and if they outsquat/outpress/outdeadlift any potential suitor, these silly boys better not show up at the front door until that’s fixed.
Now I’m crabby. So we need a cleanse…
Now I’m completely distracted. What where we talking about?