Friday Jams: Girls

girls

This is my toxic, masculine husband. Just look how’s he trying to diminish my potential. Can you feel his overbearing and unfair energy at my femininity? You can see how he probably orders me around the house to go make him a sammich or he’ll unleash his toxic masculinity on me as I quiver in fear. I hate that he’s too old to have taken Toxic Masculinity 101 while he was working on his Chemical Engineering degree at Iowa. If he had, I’m sure he’d be the perfect man that no one needs to ever fear.

But wait, I need other people to fear my toxic, masculine husband! Why? Because there are bad people in the world, some even in Wisconsin. People who may intend me harm in one way or another. People who may be brought to their senses when they see this huge, toxic, masculine man standing behind me. People who may be trying to rip me off who immediately change their tone when Matt walks in (happens. A lot.) People who respond to the deep, booming voice on the telephone who instantly decide to work with us instead of against us (like a Step-daughters landlord.)

I feel so very concerned for so many of my friends who’ve also married toxic, masculine males: Liz; Olivia; Victoria; Yvonne; Eliane, to name just a few. I am so sorry they live within the confines of toxic masculinity every day of their lives, like me. I mean, I’m not gonna lie; toxic masculinity has it’s perks AMMIRIGHT girls? We get to spend our days watching our men work their asses off so we can all have better lives. We can watch and wait for them to return home for one of those amazing toxic, masculine hugs (and more;) We can sit back and be appreciated for who we are because our men believe in us and encourage us.

By the way, women can exhibit toxic masculinity. NO WAY! Yup. Really, you’re just talking about bullying added to the war on men. The new hashtag movement is to ensure that men are sensitive and cuddly and non-assertive and soft spoken. Down with the Alpha male, up with the Brookfield dad! (Brookfield is a neighboring community where Matt’s sis and family live. We used to go to his niece and nephew’s sports activities where I noticed that 95% of the Brookfield Dad’s were around 5’7 and 145 pounds with very skinny ankles following their legging’s and riding boots wearing wives around being barked at for not grabbing the right flavor fruit roll up for little jonny. By the way, skinny ankles on a man freaks me out.) Our neighbor is a Brookfield dad living in Tosa. When he get’s home with the kids, he whines at them. Whines. For all of his faults I can honestly say I’ve never heard Pastor John whine at us kids or our mother. I can’t imagine father-in-law Tom whining at any of his kids either. But then again, there was no Brookfield Dad syndrome in the 60’s and 70’s. Alpha males were encouraged back then. On the plus side, our neighbor’s wife never has to worry about toxic masculinity. Good for her.

But now we need to let men know that their world-wide domination is OVER! Fffffffffuck Youuuuuuuuu! Oh by the way, another term for toxic masculinity is domestic violence. Yup. See, we assume that if a man is masculine, then he automatically has the potential to beat on his wife. Not even understanding that those whom beat on others actually have very low self-worth or self-esteem therefore submitting those around them gives them moments of worth. Fucking duh.

My daughter has a new boyfriend. He’s probably a toxic masculine. At 29 he owns his own business; hustles day and night to make sure he and his employees are working throughout the year; has owned his home for three years already and hired a housekeeper to ensure that any time his girlfriend’s mom drops in, his house is clean (actually that’s not true. He hired a housekeeper because he likes a clean home and the woman he hired needed money to help her family.) Yup, that dude just has the toxic masculine oozing out of him. OH, he also cans fruit and veggies with his dad during the weekends so they have a full pantry of food in the winter. He adores my daughter and encourages her to be the best version of herself. Poor Zandra.

Let’s see, if I were to name the battles in the last two years that Americans have fought they would be the wars on: conservatives (racists); white men (privileged racists); those who want border control (cold hearted racists), and now men in general (toxic racists.) At this point, I’m just really happy Matt has me to protect him from the hoards of feminists who wish him harm (or worse.) I mean, come one, we all know I’m the scary one anyway.

Motely Crue: Girls, Girls, Girls. To celebrate toxic masculinity, 80’s style!

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About tosabarbell

For training opportunities at tosabarbell, call or text Juli at 320-296-9313. jep6095@gmail.com tosabarbell is a private, home grown gym with three lifting platforms; squat rack; prowlers; throwing implements; bars, bumpers and everything else needed for an effective strength and conditioning program. Straightforward barbell programming including the Olympic lifts; sound (read: not fancy bullshit) diet advance for weight gain or loss; and strong coaching will ensure you will meet your goals such as becoming stronger, more explosive, and better conditioned. Juli has been coaching teams and athletes for over 20 years. She grew up participating in various sports at various levels but was always drawn to those that require strength training. She is a 2-time Master's Amercian Weightlifting Champion and holds six Master's American records. She is a Master's Weightlifting National Champion and holds three National records. She is a Master's Weightlifting World Championships Silver Medalist in 2016. Juli is also a Masters Highland Games World Champion and holds three World Records in the Braemar Stone; Heavy Weight for Distance, and Light Weight for Distance in the 45-49 class. Her 5 years of training and coaching under Mark Rippetoe has honed her coaching skills to be a top choice for you to reach your strength and conditioning goals. Juli will strongly encourage tosabarbell athletes to compete (and prepare you to do so.) However; tosabarbell is also for those who just wish to be stronger and go through life feeling better. Matt WanAt is a retired Professional Strongman who competed frequently with Strongman Champions League in Europe. He played a year of D1 football with Iowa before concentrating on his Chemical Engineering degree in Iowa City. He is a native of Wauwatosa and still remains a staunch supporter of Tosa East. This blog will be a mixture of strength notes, coaching and nutrition tips, personal shit; bacon delicacies, and a whole lot of fun.
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