Hey, even if I’m a fat can I eat this? Why yes, of course you can!
As mentioned last week in my latest food rant, I hate Weight Watchers. Hate.
Why?
I have known more people to yo-yo diet on Weight Watchers for years and years while giving money to people who are there to “support” them and give them dietary advice. Whether on-line or at meetings, the people in Red are there to help. Or are they?
According to the Wikiinvest page for Weight Watchers, they generated over 1.4 billion in revenue in 2009. 1.4 BILLION. Go ahead and eat whatever you want, they’re raking in the dough while you stay fat. They are the number one provider of “weight management services” read: shit that you pay for that rarely works but we’ll keep pulling in your money on the promise that you’re not alone in all this.
I hate them.
By the way, did you know the “weight management services” industry pulls in over 54 Billion dollars a year in the U.S. ALONE!!!! Save your money, buy meat and veggies and fruit. Why’s that hard?
Think you don’t need Weight Watchers? Think again. See, what they do is give you a free assessment so you’ll KNOW if you need them or not. I need them. According to my free assessment, I am obese. At my age and height, I should weigh 124-150 pounds for optimum heath. Uhhhhhhhh, the last time I weighed 124 pounds I was in the fourth grade. True story. I looked for a picture and couldn’t find one. I was still skin and bones but weighed 120. I remember. We got weighed by the nurse at school and she remarked that I was the “heaviest” 4th grade girl so far. That’s helpful. When I was 16 and got my first drivers license, playing on at least two softball teams, and working at least three jobs I think I weighed around 170. Yes, I felt huge. Looking back on pictures, I wasn’t. Was actually pretty small, curvy, but smaller than I’d thought.
So at 46, just finishing a high volume program that included at least 700 reps of squats and double that for my pressing…uhhhhh, 124 ain’t happening. Actually, 150 ain’t happening. It’s doubtful 190 is even an option. But no, I don’t need you Weight Watchers. Fok off. By the way, we did an assessment on the Bigg guy cuz that’s fun. Yes, he’s obese. Obviously. Here’s the fun, his ideal weight range is 165-206. Uhhhhh, no. I know we had a scare a couple weeks ago but if the Bigg man ever decided he’d like to get down to 206, we’re done. Finished. Fertig. Fini. Yuck.
Most importantly, what does that tell us? That the ideal weight goal that Weight Watchers “professionals” tell you to aim for is bullshit. Unattainable. Think about that. They give you some obscene number that they pull out of their formula’d asses and say that you need to stick with them until you reach it. Fok that.
Another thing I hate about the WW is their “No Forbidden Foods” tag line. Uhhhhhh, you’re fat. Of course there are forbidden foods. Cuz you’re a fat. That fact that you HAVEN’T had forbidden foods up until this point has caused you to be a fat. Duh. See, you can’t give a fat a taste of the very thing that has made them a fat. Do you offer an alcoholic a Vodka tonic every time you see them? Uhhh, no. That’d be dick. Don’t be dick. Because even if they just have the one drink in front of you, you’ve opened up the cage of the beast. A taste for what’s actually destroyed their health. You can’t eat cake. I don’t give a flying fok how many points it is, you can’t. If you tell a fat they can, you have absolutely no understanding of how food affects your system as a whole.
Oh wait, so if the person who is paying you money doesn’t succeed long term on your program then they have to come back and pay you more money to find success again. Brilliant. Assholes.
Hate.
Eating crappy food isn’t a reward, it’s a punishment.
Drew Carey
