Monday Bacon: K.I.S.S.

It seems to me, that many newer gym goers/strength athletes believe that the more complicated a program appears, the better off they are. After all, they’ve just paid hundreds of dollars to a globo gym; signed up for the special personal training package offered ONLY AT SIGN UP for another couple of hundred dollars; bought special gym goer shoes; maybe some new shorts; was talked into $350 of GNC shitty vitamins when all you wanted was some protein; and have started your own Facebook blog on how this is the time you’re going to lose the weight. For all that, no way will simple suffice.

The best part of wanting something complicated is that you’ll find a “coach” who is willing to give it to you. For a fee, of course, that reflects how special you are and that “usually we do X, but because you’re special we’ll do Y for you. Be careful though, this is very specialized.” Really, we all just want to be special. The glaring problem with this?

You’re not special. You’re just weak. Quite honestly, that’s a simple fix. Get stronger.  Squat. Press. Deadlift. Bench. Walk; push the prowler; go run some hills. Simple. Eat more protein. Eat less sugar. Stay away from Soy. Processed carbs hate you. See? Simple.

Now pay me $500. Ohhhhhhh, I get it. That wasn’t worth $500. So if I complicate things enough and use really big words and phrases like muscle confusion (by the by, if your muscles are confused you’d actually have a type of palsy, not just a bad trainer), Nutrient Transport (by the by, your body has been doing this since you started eating. You don’t pay someone to manipulate a process that your body learned before you had your first spank), and any thing else redunkulous. So I guess this is why I’m not rich. I don’t complicate stuff enough.

Frankly, who has the energy? I just want people to be as strong as they can be. I don’t want to e-rape them with a complicated program, be it diet, training, whatever. Just get off the gerbil wheel and come train.  Learn how to do the lifts correctly, learn how to program correctly, learn how to eat that won’t keep you inflamed and feeling shitty. Simple stuff. Worth about, oh I dunno, $45 per session. Commit to being strong and you’ll be strong. Commit to a number on the scale and every time you fail to hit that number, you’ll see failure. Walk into a black iron gym and every time you train, you’ll be stronger. Simple.

It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat.

Arnold Schwarzenegger 

Training Log


About tosabarbell

For training opportunities at tosabarbell, call or text Juli at 320-296-9313. e-mail to At tosabarbell, I build relationships cultivated in a strength and learning environment. There is no 12 week magic pill program to strength but rather a lifetime commitment to be the very best and most useful human you can be. tosabarbell is a private, home grown gym with three lifting platforms; squat rack; prowlers; throwing implements; bars, bumpers and everything else needed for an effective strength and conditioning program. Straightforward barbell programming including the Olympic lifts; sound (read: not fancy bullshit) diet advance for weight gain or loss; and strong coaching will ensure you will meet your goals such as becoming stronger, more explosive, and better conditioned. I have been coaching teams and athletes for over 30 years. I grew up participating in various sports at various levels but was always drawn to those that require strength training. I have multiple local, national, and world records in the sports of Weightlifting and Highland Games Heavy Events as well as a combined total of 5 World Championships. My 5 years of training and coaching under Mark Rippetoe provided a wide range of influence from some of the top strength & conditioning and throwing coaches in the country. I will strongly encourage tosabarbell athletes to compete (and prepare you to do so.) However, tosabarbell is also for those who wish to be stronger and go through life feeling better. Matt WanAt is a retired Professional Strongman who competed frequently with Strongman Champions League in Europe. He played a year of D1 football with Iowa before concentrating on his Chemical Engineering degree in Iowa City. He is a native of Wauwatosa and still remains a staunch supporter of Tosa East. This blog will be a mixture of strength notes, coaching and nutrition tips, personal shit; bacon delicacies, and a whole lot of fun.
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