Obsessed With Squats

Any day that starts with Pisarenko is a good day. True Story.

I am completely OCD about the tshirts I wear. I have about 3 that I’ll wear on a usual basis and a handful of others that I’ll wear here and there. In the summer, it’s tank tops. Cuz they don’t try to choke me to death. True story.

No matter the shirt, the first thing I do is cut a V in the front so it doesn’t rub on my throat. Ya, I know. OCD. Further cutting will come in various forms depending on the situation. When I need to wear a Games shirt (which isn’t common since I usually grab a 2x shirt and pass it off to the Oz man) the neck gets cut first and then usually the sleeves. I’m checking the YouTube to practice prettier styles but usually I just cut the sleeves and tie the back together with one of the sleeve parts. Kate Burton is a master of the T-shirt cut. She cuts and weaves and turns out something that should be in a shop. SRSLY. That’s beyond my talents, kinda like french braiding my own hair. Not happening.

The T’s I DO wear are standard. Gym T’s, older gym T’s. Faded; writing is wearing thin; actually each t-shirt is wearing thin. To be on the acceptable daily wear list a few requirements need to be met. It must be a soft cotton. I can’t wear thick cotton T’s. I feel like I’m in a coffin. FoShizzle. The shoulders need to be cut generously (which immediately takes women’s T’s out of the running.) The length needs to be perfect. Not too long or it all bunches up around my short waist and believe me, I don’t need things bunching up around my waist. I’ve got plenty there to begin with. I need to be able to stretch out the chest (boobies) without stretching out the tummy cuz thankfully, for now, the boobs are bigger than the gut.

My three favs, listed in order are: a T from my pals down at CrossFit Retribution that has the word SQUAT across the front in bright orange. Underneath the Squat it says, ’till your eyes bleed’ which is a bit dramatic but whatev. Their artwork on the back is solid and even though folks sometimes think I’m a CFr, it’s worth it to be comfortable. It’s my everyday go to. My other two are from my BFF’s over in Brooklyn, Paulie and AoD of South Brooklyn Weightlifting Club. One is a very nice black T with their logo, that’s my dressy T-shirt and the other is their top seller RUNNING makes me tired T. That’s a fun one. People look at think ‘OH, a runner’ but then say, ‘OH, not so much.’ I have a couple of those but the other ones are used for throwing. I have one long sleeved black T shirt that I got at Target about 8 years ago that I still wear with the long underwear shirt when throwing in the cold. It has so many holes now I’ve almost thrown it away at least three times but just can’t do it. I love that shirt. (Memo to me, when finding a shirt that I love, buy four.) The T I wear for training when not tank weather is a Brooklyn Barbell shirt I got years ago from Keith Wittenstein who I used to coach with. It’s a bit big so I wear a tank top underneath but it’s nice and thin and doesn’t get in the way. I honestly have no idea why I have two T-shirt drawers when I only use 5 of them consistently. Hoarder.

Anyways. Back to my SQUAT shirt. As I said, it’s my go to when it’s too chilly for tank tops. This morning was one of those times.  The Oz man and I got up a bit early (for him anyway) and ran some Birthday errands for my Fav Gal Pal. We started at the local Starfux where I got two dirty Chi’s (one with soy, my bday gift to her was actually saying “soy” when ordering a drink;), went to a grocery where we got a balloon and a donut each to pre-game our drive to the actual donut shop to get a donut bouquet for her birthday breakfast.

At the Starfux, the nice woman taking my order said, “I love your shirt.” I say, heyyyy thanx man. Actually I just said thank you. She then went on to say, My husband would love that shirt, he’s obsessed with squats.” Uhhhhh, huh? I had to investigate that further so I asked what does it look like when someone is obsessed with squats. What I got was, “Oh you know, he has to squat every day or he get’s crabby. He’ll squat anytime anywhere even if we’re in the grocery store or out for the night to loosen up.” My inner angel/devil voices were battling with each other where the Angel’s MUST!NOT!SAY!ANYTHING!ABOUT!DOUCHE-Y!CFr! won out. So when she finished with, ‘he just really loves CF’ I could just smile and walk away. Funny enough, when I was waiting for my Dirty Chi’s (I kinda like saying the word ‘dirty’) another 170 pounder dude says, kinda side like, ‘Nice shirt.’ When I mumbled thanks he gave me a head nod as if to infer that we had some squat kinship going on. There’s a reason why I usually drive through these places.

Obsessed with squats? Pleaze. In all honesty, squatting and attention whoring are two completely different things. For one, you actually need a barbell and some weights to do it so if you think you’re doing it in a grocery store or at the pub? No,not a squat. Attention whoring. Poor girl. By the way, when I order a dirty chi (heeehee) I always have to ask them to put only 1/2 the amount of chi syrup in there or it’s too sweet and yucky. I forgot to do that this morning so just pressed some coffee of my own. I struggle.

SO. To recap. Pisarenko? Good squatter. He used squats to get strong. Strongest. Someone “obsessed” with air squats where they need to do them in public constantly? Well, sure, they’re obsessed. Just not with squats.

True Story

And then I heard that some bloke from Australia won the gold with 60 kilos less than I did in the National Championships.

Anatoly Pisarenko

Training Log

About tosabarbell

For training opportunities at tosabarbell, call or text Juli at 320-296-9313. e-mail to jep6095@gmail.com At tosabarbell, I build relationships cultivated in a strength and learning environment. There is no 12 week magic pill program to strength but rather a lifetime commitment to be the very best and most useful human you can be. tosabarbell is a private, home grown gym with three lifting platforms; squat rack; prowlers; throwing implements; bars, bumpers and everything else needed for an effective strength and conditioning program. Straightforward barbell programming including the Olympic lifts; sound (read: not fancy bullshit) diet advance for weight gain or loss; and strong coaching will ensure you will meet your goals such as becoming stronger, more explosive, and better conditioned. I have been coaching teams and athletes for over 30 years. I grew up participating in various sports at various levels but was always drawn to those that require strength training. I have multiple local, national, and world records in the sports of Weightlifting and Highland Games Heavy Events as well as a combined total of 5 World Championships. My 5 years of training and coaching under Mark Rippetoe provided a wide range of influence from some of the top strength & conditioning and throwing coaches in the country. I will strongly encourage tosabarbell athletes to compete (and prepare you to do so.) However, tosabarbell is also for those who wish to be stronger and go through life feeling better. Matt WanAt is a retired Professional Strongman who competed frequently with Strongman Champions League in Europe. He played a year of D1 football with Iowa before concentrating on his Chemical Engineering degree in Iowa City. He is a native of Wauwatosa and still remains a staunch supporter of Tosa East. This blog will be a mixture of strength notes, coaching and nutrition tips, personal shit; bacon delicacies, and a whole lot of fun.
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