What’s This About?

A few weeks over three years ago, I had just moved my family from small town Minnesota to small town Texas. I was stressed, already losing sleep, and wondering what in the hellz I was doing there. The Oz man was a standard fixture at the gym when we hit town and one evening, as I was trying to wind things up, the boss man steps into my office and says, “What’s this about?” and nods towards the front door.

I peeked out and there stood a ginormous dark haired stranger that was big as a house but was smiling and already talking to one of the locals. I looked at Rip and said, “Did you get that for ME?” Ya know, kind of a housewarming gift? Guess not. I walked out and introduced myself and he said his name was Matt and he was looking to train. Well sure big fella, come on in and train. Heh.

And that’s how it started. We saw Bigg Matt here and there, you just never knew when you’d walk into the gym and see him sitting at the tables. There were even times where he’d show up, train and entertain us, and then show up again a few weeks later with a trip to Serbia that had come and gone in between. The dude knew how to travel. It’s one of the things we’ve really enjoyed together.

As time went by, we’d talk more about life and stuff. Both of us walked through some fires during this time, his up north and mine down south, but certainly we enjoyed infrequent visits. When we finally got to a point where ‘hey, something may be going on here’ hit, we were doing the long distance thing and much of our “together” was on-line.

So much so that when we finally moved into ‘FB official status’ we chose to pick a date to celebrate an anniversary. And here we are. It’s been a heck’v a ride and we’ve even walked through a few fires ourselves, but here we are. In all mushy honesty, it’s quite a life we’re building here. Matt’s family has been one big hug and I adore them. Milwaukee has been very good for the Oz man and I and we’re still standing strong. He’s my rock. I’m a lucky girl.

Talking about the Oz man, that first night back in Wichita Falls? I shamed Matt into pushing the prowler and when I wanted to pack up and head home for the night, I found Oz outside sternly telling Matt exactly how he was to put it away. It made me lulz. Who knew that the day would come where these two would geek off against each other on a daily basis. Truth.

He’s the reason tosabarbell exists; he’s the reason I’ve found peace (and sleep); and he’s the reason life Iz Gooood.

Happy Anniversary Bigg. xoxo

Courage means to keep working a relationship, to continue seeking solutions to difficult problems, and to stay focused during stressful periods.

Denis Waitley

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Sh*t Talk 101

How to give. How to receive.

If you are over the age of talking, you have been affected by either people talking shit about you, or you getting caught talking shit about others. It’s bound to happen. Why? Cuz we’re ‘Merica and we loves our gossip.

I vividly remember the first time I was busted on talking shit about another girl. We were on the same swim team; she was cute and skinny and blond; and she had the guy I wanted. The trifecta of teenage hate. I said something untrue about her to other friends (who of course made a bee line to her and ratted me out) and she confronted me. Whoa! You mean I don’t get to say whatever I want and go on my merry way? Crap.

I was busted. When she asked very nicely (really) why I said that, what could I come up with??? Quick, make something up! The only thing I could think of was, “I was jealous.” The truth. Jealousy. Ugly.

I learned two valuable lessons that day. First off, talking shit about others will come back to you. Truth. You may get ‘away’ with it in some cases but somehow, it will come back to crap all over your new white shoes. But more importantly, the people who listen to you talk shit? Not only do they LOVE to spread what you say, but they’ll make sure YOU are the target as much as possible.

Why are we so hurt when he hear people talk shit about us when we’ve done the same thing? Maybe not to them, but to others. Probably because no one is immune to the jealousy of others. The interwebz has given us a world stage to spew our ugly, yeah interwebz. So in this spirit, here’s a few golden rules of Shit Talk:

1. Nothing is EVER confidential. Ever, know that now. Someone will talk. Think you’re telling your deepest and darkest secret to your BFF and no one else? Nope. BFF’s actually are rarely Forever and when things turn, your words will be used against you. A negative view on friendship? Nope, a realistic view. People change, friendships change, that’s ok. What isn’t ok is that you’ve just given hefty ammo to someone you used to be friends with. Don’t do that, it’s on you. Hire a psychiatrist, pay them to keep your secrets.  Hope they’re ethical. Then talk.

2. Take it to the grave. If someone tells YOU something in confidence (silly people), take it to the grave. When people tell me something and say, ‘please don’t share this with anyone’ I don’t. There are things I’ve kept from family, from bosses, from boyfriends, from the world because once words are spoken it’s as if it never happened. When asked if ‘something’ was said by ‘someone’, I will look you straight in the eye and say no. Because it was in confidence, so to you, it doesn’t exist. Call it lying if you will, I call it being trustworthy.

3. Have Kevlar skin. Bulletproof. Be bulletproof. People will talk about you. Why? Because you exist and make mistakes or succeed or are beautiful or have a beautiful spouse or are blond or are fast or are strong or… You get the picture right? People will talk about you. We are only responsible for our words which means when people talk ugly about you, those words belong to them (very Tommy Suggs.) If we accept those words, we put it on ourselves. So don’t. You can not control what comes out of other people’s mouths, stop trying. Easy to say? Yup. Easy to do? Nope. I still amaze myself how hurt I can become over people’s words spoken who I once valued. MyBad.

4. Stop it. Seriously, stop shit talking other people. If you’re doing it on the interwebz, really stop it. Don’t leave an electronic trail of being a bully. It’s not good. If you have a big enough beef with someone that you’re losing sleep over it, pick up the phone and get it out. If you can’t, you’re in high school. Remember how much fun THAT was?

5. Learn and grow. Learn from your mistakes. I have failed on all four points above and I try to learn from each failure and grow as a person. I’ve realized that as entertaining gossip can be, it doesn’t make me look good. Jealous. Ugly. Yuck.

The only gossip I’m interested in is things from the Weekly World News- ‘Woman’s Bra Bursts, 11 injured’. That kind of thing.

Johnny Depp

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Monday Bacon: Again

I wasn’t watching a lot of the French Open due to timing and no longer having the Tennis Channel but I follow enough sports on the Fb and the Twitter to hear that Serena Williwams was kicking ass all over croissantville. I finally got a chance to watch her semi final match which, in 46 minutes, wasn’t much of a match.

I was a bit concerned about her finals match against Maria Sharapova. They have enough history to know that Sharapova is tenacious, even when she’s seemingly down and out. Since I had a busy Saturday morning and things to do around the house after, we taped the match to watch after lunch. I stayed off the FB and off the Tweets to ensure that I didn’t get wind of the winner.

After last year’s first round sayonara, her win was a great comback. Honestly, this entire last year has been a great comeback. Mental toughness, she haz it. It was a great match and in no way did Serena walk away with the title. Sharapova made sure she worked hard for it and it was fun to watch.

Congrats also to Rafael Nadal who won his 8th French Open title. He’s also come back from major injury (and  five hour match on Friday) to win.

His was also a great match and though he comes off very humble and sweet at match end interviews, his game face is a good one. All work, play later.

If you’re an Olympic champion then they have to wait four more years to get you again.

Usain Bolt

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Friday Jams

The folks at Sport Kilt had a good story on their Facebook page yesterday about Bill Millin, the lad who carried his bagpipes with him to the beaches of Normandy on June 6. This is the part of the FB that I really enjoy, people sharing interesting things and bringing them into your life.

Here’s an excerpt from Bill Millian in Voices of D-Day, a book by Jonathan Bastable

At that time the War Office had banned pipers in action. Lovat told me he was not bothered about the War Office and that I would be the only piper playing at Normandy. I took it as an honour.

I like that. Bravery takes on a new meaning when you enter a war with Bagpipes as your weapon.

Enjoy the weekend.

O my Luve’s like a red, red rose,
That’s newly sprung in June:
O my Luve’s like the melodie,
That’s sweetly play’d in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry.

Robert Burns

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