The Bar is NOT your Bitch. Bitch.

Posted on June 11, 2014 by tosabarbell

bitchbitch

This…is a Barbell…

It is a picture of an old York Barbell, the only thing missing from tosabarbell. I know where three of them are, extreme self control has prevented me from doing a bar swap when no one is looking. It is my favorite bar on the planet. I love our B&R Bars; I love the snappy feel of a Werksan and Eleiko bar, but the old York bars are my fav. I love how they get pushed aside at gyms lucky enough to have one and don’t even know it. They look rusty and old and ucky so people go for the shiny new ones that feel like crap. I trained at a gym in little town Minnesota that had one and the day I got kicked out of the gym (for “turning it into a Powerlifting gym”…dick) I seriously stared at it for 5 minutes wondering if I should take it. Yes, there were cameras and I see the asshat at the VF when we played Bingo so I eventually would have paid for it but then I’d have an old York bar. Damn values.

But I do like the bars we have. Bigg loves his Texas Deadlift bar and I did enjoy training on the York Weightlifting bars down in Texas. But that old York bar, Oooooo she’s a honey. She’d have a good home here, cuz we take care of our bars. Ya know what we don’t do? We don’t throw down our bars. We don’t allow people to roll them around with their feet. We don’t allow people to slam them into the rack after they PR’d. Cuz your PR, as fabulous as it is, is not more important than my Bar. True story.

There are so few circumstances where a bar thrown from overhead is appropriate I can only think of one. A Gold medal. As in…

By the way, why do people only kiss the plates? I always give my bar a pat after a good day. The bar was with me the entire session, plates come and go. Heh. I remember one silly boy down in Texas who got pissed that his horribly form and lack of taking coaching (not by me) got out of control enough that when he missed his umpteenth consecutive snatch, he threw the bar across the platform. I told him that he was done for the day. He was shocked, why would he be done? Cuz you’re an asshole and will never throw a bar again while I’m in the vicinity of a mile. Get. Out.  I was so amazingly pissed I thought I’d like to throw HIM across the platform.

I am Hawaiian enough to believe that there is stored energy in a bar. What you put into it will come out. I will not always PR; the bar WILL always want to win, but we’ll work together and afterwards the bar will always get a pat. That bar helps me to maintain strength and health. It is never my enemy. If anyone comes into our house and disrespects our bars, they are done here. I don’t care if they are our best friend’s, they’re done.

Thrown bars (minus the Gold medal) are a sign of immaturity. Silly boys and girls throw bars. Those who have been taught by silly boys and girls that their 75 pound push press was elite. I’ve actually seen videos of folks throwing down their bars with 10# iron plates on them. That’s not badass. That’s dick. Don’t be dick. But really don’t be dick at tosabarbell, cuz if you get me on the wrong day, it won’t be pretty. The bar is never your bitch. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. If you can’t understand that? Then you’re not ready to touch it. True story.

Sounds naive respecting someone who doesn’t give a shit about you.

Toba Beta

Training Log

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Like 5

Posted on June 10, 2014 by tosabarbell

This is light. RIGHT?!

After yesterdays post on my worldwide ban of the word ‘Toned’ our tosa friend and awesome graphic designer asked a very poignant question: “If all I do is sit at a computer all day and occasionally have to pick up a 50# bag of fertilizer, why do I need to be strong?” I loved this because I believe this is one of the most common misconception of civilized man. My quick response would be:

What if that 50# bag of lawn food felt like 5#? 

That’d be better. Right? And wouldn’t that highlight the exact reason that stronger is better? Because we CAN DO THINGS BETTER. That’s a good thing. It’s the perfect illustration that stronger is best in every day life. Yes?

I cannot for the life of me fathom how Strength went out of style. Like the 80’s. Toto and Strong, poof, out along with Jelly shoes and leg warmers (but I still wear leg warmers. True Story.) Anyways. I honestly have no idea. Why did strong become a four letter word in America? We were out last night to watch the hockey game with Bigg’s Russian pal, also a hockey player, and as I looked around the Brew Pub I realized that there was not one man in the joint that “looked” strong. There were a couple of maybe construction workers so by trade, they needed to be strong but guess what? Their job would go better and they’d last longer if they were not only job strong, but gym strong. Duh. ( By the way, LA is up 3-0. Suck it Rangers.)

I read this article yesterday written by John Romano. It made me ask Bigg this question, are modern American men afraid of Testosterone? Has a T-count over 250 become so scary that men will do whatever they can to avoid it? Are women who demand girly men equally terrified of becoming a victim of the media popular “roid rage” monster that exists as true as Bigfoot and ‘Nessie? Has the media/Congress circus that has revolved around steroids and raised testosterone actually caused men to welcome the low count AND teach their sons that they don’t want a level of 800 or they’ll end up raging and then dead of steroid cancer? Steroid cancer, I’ve actually heard that one.

Why do I need to be strong if I don’t live in a world where I don’t need to display strength? Well, I would ask, what world exists where you don’t display strength? What is the alternative? Well sure, there’s a grey area before ‘weak’…maybe. I had a stint this spring where I tried some different training. It didn’t work. I actually became weaker and fatter. Yuck. See, since I’m strong to begin with I recognize the feeling of weaker. I don’t like it. Do those who aren’t strong  just accept that weakness feels okay? I dunno.

But I want to know. Why is Strong out of style? Why don’t we want 50 pounds to feel like 5 pounds? Why is a T-count higher than 246 scary and why are men so afraid to go to a T-Clinic to remedy the situation? Why do skinny jeans in the men’s department even exist? Why don’t more beefy men train in Ranger panties?  (Okay, I just threw that one in for fun. But really…)

Brandon Lilly’s 800# deadlift…in Ranger Panties style shorts. You’re welcome ladies.

Really.

I like there to be some testosterone in rock, and it’s like I’m the one in the dress who has to provide it.

Courtney Love

Training Log

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday Bacon: Toned Ban

Posted on June 9, 2014 by tosabarbell

Inevitably, when someone hears about our Black Iron gym, they will say that they really don’t need to be stronger but they DO want to be toned. I then ask, ‘What does toned mean?’  They will then point to whatever area on their body that has extra skin or fat collected and say, ‘I just want to get rid of this.’ OHHHHHHHHH! You want to be stronger.

Huh?

FoShizzle. Get on the Google and type in Toned, here’s what comes up for the number one definition: give greater strength or firmness to (the body or a part of it). Greater strength. Duh. Because the only way you’re going to get “toned” in the gym is to A) increase your muscle mass and 2. decrease your bodyfat. Will you do that on the treadmill? Well, no. Then you’re not addressing A, remember? Can you do that without changing a diet that has put you into a situation of being heavier than you’ve intended? Nope. Cuz 2 ain’t happening without changing your diet. Duh.

Bigg and I tried to come up with a scenario in our world (“our” being ‘Merika) where being strongest wouldn’t be an asset. No, we’re not talking strongest in the county, or even in your home gym. We’re talking strongest that YOU can and should be. If I ruled the world (and some days I get real close, just ask me) I would ban the word TONED. That word has caused more ‘Merikans to become skinny and weak than the Smith Press. True Story. It has given the perception to millions that if I just lose a little weight, I’ll become healthier. People, weaker is never healthier. Duh. What would people in globo gyms from seaboard to seaboard look like if the mantra was, “I just want to be strong.” Think of it. Kind of like a reverse Orwellian gym society. Suddenly we have an overabundance of 80 year old’s lifting barbells at Planet Fitness and there would be NO lunk alarm. Ohhhhhh, to dream.

Talk about the 80 year old’s who are strong…Bigg and I also discussed various folks we know from all walks of our lives who have taken up the idea that strong doesn’t matter in life and how quickly that little lifestyle tidbit will bite them in the ass. We know some skinny-fat people who may need a cane before leaving their 40’s or at the very least early in their 50’s. Unacceptable. If I’m using a cane within the next 30 years it’s because I’ve had some catastrophic injury, not because I’ve just accepted to be weak. Fok.

Why does this bother me so bad? Why don’t I just let these people decline in record time right in front of me? Honestly, I dunno. Cuz I care I guess. Cuz it’s avoidable. Cuz all you need to do is start. But you need to get away from Toned. Toned is bullshit and has weakened not only your body, but your mind. Unacceptable, knock it off.

FoShizzle.

I work out. I’m getting toned too. The Wii Fit really works your body. When I get off, I’m dying.

Keke Palmer

(I had to Google who Keke Palmer is. She’s an actress. Who I guess is so incredibly weak and deconditioned that a video game destroys her. But hey, she’s “toned.”)

Training Log

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Friday Jams: Fallen Heroes

Posted on June 6, 2014 by tosabarbell

glennormandy

 

One thing about the FB, it’s always good for some dog pics. Sure Cat and Horse too, but the dogs rule the FB. We love our dogs. I will battle my neighbors for my dogs and don’t give one shit if I don’t have a ‘neighborly’ friendliness with them because of it. Terry Smith down south has quite an adorable bulldog(?) puppy named Crom. So far, at 8:05am, he’s won the internet for the day. The dog is adorable and though I don’t know him very well, Crom and Terry seem to be two peas in a pod. Heh.

We all love our dogs. I read about a Yellowstone thermal pool death of a man when he jumped in to save his dog, who by the way was probably already mostly dead by the time the human got there. Supposedly his last words were something to the effect of, ‘it’s my dog.’ Heartbreaking.  There are a lot of folks who keep their dog on a short chain bolted outside. Poor dogs. Currently, my two are keashed out after a rough morning of eating and walking down the stairs.

I grew up with dogs and they were all family members. We were raised to look out for our dogs. Don’t let them run in the street (when I was 4 or 5, our baby Puggie ran out in the street when we were moving something into our house up north. I was young but have a vivid memory of my mom and the woman who hit Gittle sobbing together on our living room floor. Gittle made a full recovery and had a very nice Puggie life. Other than my big white dogs, I luvs the Puggie’s.) We all are pretty serious about taking care of our dogs and making sure they’re safe and sound and happy.

But what happens when we knowingly bring our dogs into one of the thickest battles of history? What was that like? Knowing that YOU may not make it out of D-Day alive, but then having to wonder who is going to take care of your dog. Cuz that’s how dog people’s minds think right? Always ‘my dog.’ Take care of ‘my dog.’ Lazar Bachovic has written an article on the Paradogs of WWII. Here’s a short excerpt.

There have been dogs in war for centuries and many in other branches of the armed forces documented during WWII. But the paradogs? They’ve got my vote. See, the humans knew what they were training for. They were jumping out of airplanes because liberty was more important than life. The dogs? They knew that making their human happy was more important than their life. So if jumping out of an airplane and looking after them once on the ground made their human happy? They’re all in.

That’s a hero.

D-Day has always held a special place in my heart. For some reason it’s the one day a year my dad would stay home later in the morning and we’d watch news specials about it. Anytime my dad was still home at 8am, it was a special day. We usually had just gotten out of school for the year but didn’t sleep in on June 6. On June 6, we remembered. It made my dad cry which was kinda uncomfortable but solidified the point that this was a big day. The History channel seems to learn from it’s mistakes and is airing footage and specials about the battles all day. Two years ago they aired Pawn Stores or some stupid show all day. Idiots.

Anyways.

Today is special. Fallen heroes are remembered, both the two footed and the four footed kind. One woman, a private’s daughter, who thinks of her father facing the beach that day writes this:

I don’t know how or why I can feel this emptiness, this fear, or this determination, but I do. Maybe it’s the bond I had with my father. All I know is that it brings tears to my eyes to think about my father as a 20-year-old boy having to face that beach.

Yup.

I’ve used this video before. That’s ok. It’s a good one.

6/6/44.

Today, in their memory, and for all who fought here, we celebrate the triumph of democracy. We reaffirm the unity of democratic people who fought a war and then joined with the vanquished in a firm resolve to keep the peace.

From a terrible war we learned that unity made us invincible; now, in peace, that same unity makes us secure. We sought to bring all freedom-loving nations together in a community dedicated to the defense and preservation of our sacred values. Our alliance, forged in the crucible of war, tempered and shaped by the realities of the post-war world, has succeeded. In Europe, the threat has been contained, the peace has been kept.

Ronald Reagan

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment