While we were enjoying our last morning in Brooklyn this week, trouble was brewing here at home for a few of my girlfriend’s. Now I don’t know if those reading this blog are old enough to understand the power of girlfriends, not the fly by night friends who say, “let’s go drink or play”, but those that say, “What do you need?” in times of sheer crisis. Those girls. The girls who are able to stay respectful to a situation and still let you know you’re their top priority. They may even tell you things that are tough to hear but know that to NOT tell you wouldn’t be a good friend. I understand that it’s a gift, that’s why they’re girlfriend’s. Pull their energy together and watch what they can do, it’s amazing.
But reading text after text from different parts of the map on Monday and it became clear that my girl’s were in a hard place. I don’t like that. First off, there’s nothing I can do from a cab in Brooklyn on the way to the airport. Secondly, I HATE when my friend’s hurt. These are good people, hard working, loving mothers, kickass ladies. But like we talked about yesterday, sometime’s life throws a big sucker punch. This was one of those weeks.
So for my girls, Pooh Corner by Kenny Loggins. And lots of hugs.
Later on, when they had all said “Good-bye” and “Thank-you” to Christopher Robin, Pooh and Piglet walked home thoughtfully together in the golden evening, and for a long time they were silent.
“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting to-day?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.
Why do a majority of parents today want their children to avoid childhood? You know, the ‘kids teasing’, ‘get pushed into a locker now and then’, ‘girls choosing sides against you’, ‘boys not picking you for their pick up game’, ‘teachers being crazy and cruel’, ‘coaches not playing my kid’, ‘mom saying in her lowest, scariest voice “wait ’till your Dad get’s home”, and the plain ‘ol “NO!“
Childhood hurts are unavoidable, why don’t you want your little one to know that? It’s part of life. You cannot shield little Johnny from hurts, but you CAN teach them how to process and move on. Why don’t you want to do that? Why is it easier to play linebacker to their daily goings on than to accept that parts of their blessed little life will be unpleasant?
I remember specifically when someone I know had their first baby, stood on top of the mountain (STS) and decreed that no one will ever tell HER children ‘NO’. Ever! If you do, you won’t be allowed to babysit or be around them. Uhhhh, okay, good luck with that one. Of course that lasted all the way into babyhood but got ditched right around the ‘walking, baby saying NO back to mommy’ stage. But it was an interesting little progression. See, some times, our childhoods hold enough hurt that we believe ALL childhoods should be avoided. Parents assume that any hurt their children feel is a failure on their part to keep little Johnny safe from all the evil in the world.
Well, life sucks sometimes. What happens when little Johnny all of a sudden gets out from under your skirts and has to, oh I dunno, go find a job on their own; make a meal on their own; handle rejection on their own? I personally have heard one mum of a very good man say, “I didn’t want him to do anything he didn’t want to do.” WHAT? Are you F’ing kidding me? What happens to kids who are told that they never have to do what they don’t want to do? They become adults who believe they don’t have to do what they don’t want to and if Obama has his way, you get to pay this spoiled POS $10 an hour. Awesome sauce.
And for those of you want to parent without ever saying NO, ya know, the “Oooooooo we don’t want to do that because…” because if you actually had the nerve to say NO then little Betty might feel bad, uhhhhh, you’re an idiot. You haven’t taught your children how to behave and handle disappointment, you’ve taught them how to manipulate you and those around you to both be a little monster AND get what they want. That’ll be a fun adult. Way to go.
Look, we don’t like when our children hurt. But it’s not our job to help them avoid the pain, that’s childhood. It’s unavoidable. It IS our job to teach them how to get through it and move on without carrying too much baggage into adulthood. But it’ll happen. You trying to bubble wrap them just weakens their ability to deal later in life. Don’t do that. Strength sometimes comes from hard times, no matter how little or how deep, hard times happen. Give them the security that you’ll be there WHEN it does, not the knowledge that you’ll be there to make sure it DOESN’T happen. And if you’re raising little monsters, don’t bring them out around me. Cuz I say NO, sometimes very loudly. If it’s the first they’ve heard that word, it’ll be remembered. True story.
Unfortunately, life is unfair and not all babies are brought into the world with the same amount of anticipation and affection, as others. No matter what anyone says; we are really not all given an equal start at life. And so what must children be made up of, to come into a world like this one? Children must be made up of silk. They must be brought up with a serenity in their skin but a bulletproof strength in their souls. This is the new breed of children. Ones that are soft to the touch but are truly unbreakable. And unbreakable in a beautiful way; not in a lost way.
I’ve known Paulie for about five years now. A Brooklyn-er, is that the same as a New Yorker? I forgot to ask. Although he and his wife, Becca (AoD…don’t ask) said that when they moved from the city to Brooklyn, they were concerned that there wouldn’t be immediate shops and food available like in NYC. Heh. For us small town Milwaukee folk, Brooklyn is huge and you have everything you need within a five block radius.
Anyways.
Paulie and Becca have been solid BFF’s for years and when I stopped traveling so much for work, I missed my bi-yearly trip out to see them. ADD in the fact that I talk about them so much and Bigg hadn’t had a chance to meet them yet and we decided we needed to rectify that. So we did.
We picked a weekend where we could visit for a few days and then Matt would fly on to Scandihoovia for work. We landed on Friday afternoon and immediately kicked off the weekend that I would label as : Friends, Fun, and Food. It was amazing. When I told Paulie that Bigg was asking for authentic, Chinatown Xiaolongbao (Soup Dumplings), Paulie was on it. Matt was so excited that by Friday, I had banned the words ‘Soup Dumplings’ I was so tired of hearing them. Uhhhhh, but then I tasted them.
We had a lot of amazing Chinese food Friday night but the Soup Dumplings? The best. So good that they were allowed to be spoken of again. Heh. OH! Paulie gave me a great coaching session on how to use Chop Sticks. I’m not perfect, but I’m getting better.
We hung out, drank Bourbon and Rye and just enjoyed being together. If a perfect weekend between good friends gets any better than this, then it was our weekend PLUS one of us winning the lottery.
On Saturday, we had great roast beef for lunch in Sheepshead Bay here:
Roll N’ Roasters hasn’t changed much since this commercial, or since it opened over 40 years ago. The roast beef was savory but light so double meating (yes, double meating is a word) my sammich, giving me over 60g of protein wasn’t SO filling that we had to skip pie. OH! They DO have salads there, but we saw the pie first so…well, ya know. Pie.
Dinner that night was at the local Wiseguy hangout, Two Tom’s. We were treated like family, never had an empty glass, enjoyed amazing steak and pork chops and fit right into the family style feel of a place that has been going strong for 65 years. OH! There was a long table of patrons when we walked in, clearly enjoying themselves. By the end of the night, it felt as if we were part of the group, just sitting off to the side at the kids table. Heh. Comfortable, like a big loud Italian family. It was awesome.
Our Dim Sum breakfast the next morning was one for the books. Overwhelming doesn’t even beGIN to cover the amounts of food being placed at our table. I got some more chopsticks lessons in and really, by the end of it all, I killed it. I started practicing with straw covers, little lettuce pieces, anything I could get my stix on. I’d never had Dim Sum before and I’m afraid to have it again anywhere but there. OH! In both cases during our Chinese dinner and breakfast, we were the only haole’s (minus me and Paulie) in the joint. Want good local food? Go where the locals go.
A trip to Brooklyn wouldn’t be complete without grabbing some snacks at Jubilat polish market. We hit it at a good time with an English speaking woman behind the counter who was very helpful. It was fun for Matt too who got to see a lot of foods he grew up with being cooked by Buscia. And pickles on the floor…
We skipped the pickles, got some cheesecake instead. Cuz, vacation.
Of course we worked off a little bit of all of this delicious food training at their South Brooklyn Weightlifting Club. The training groups that we jumped in with were just amazing to watch. On Saturday morning, I watched one very tall and somewhat skinny dude deadlift what was heavy for him without ever losing his determination or form. Paulie has lifters from all walks of life with all types of goals and is able to walk the group giving each one cues for a better rep. The groups are focused yet light with talking and joking here and there but it’s clearly work time and I like that. I’ve been to lots of gyms where group settings still have people lifting heavy, but there’s so much goofing off during it that it’s distracting for me. It also, I’ve noticed, allows others who don’t want to work very hard to blend in the goofiness and not get everything out of a session that they should. THEN you try to get a spot from one and they’re dicking around so much that I’ve booted them off my lift. Go play somewhere else, I’m lifting.
Anyways. Of course the games minion had to get in the action…of course!
Sneaky games minion.
Overall, it was an amazing weekend. One of my favorites. Celebrating friendships and not only watching them bring a lifestyle of strength and hard work to everyone who walks in their door with the best equipment available but being taken care of by them to make our weekend filling and fun. Getting a chance to stretch our legs a bit and take some Brooklyn walks to get coffee or snacks felt good too after being cooped up by this whole polar vortex thing here in Wisconsin. Sharing good friends with Bigg was nice and now he understands why I love these guys so much.
Thank you thank you to Paulie and AoD for an amazing weekend and to my Bigg guy for making it happen. OH! All these carbs in three days makes for one helluva training session on Monday morning. Mmmmmmm, carbs.
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.
As I was reading a Forbes report on the income of justin bieber, I seriously read this line, “the Canadian crooner has toured the world”as this, “the Canadian crooner has tortured the world.” I was all, what the heck?!!! Even FORBES knows he’s junk. It took me two more times to figure it out I was reading it wrong. But those brief moments were pretty fun.
My post on Chivalry brought up some good feedback. One comment by a former NFL player and Pro Highland Games thrower and best of the best in the WOB (I swear I try to look like him when I throw for height but for the 14 inches shorter, a little lighter, and that girlie thing.) Are girls and young women demanding more of a justin bieber type male (skinny, punk, rude, treats people with absolutely no respect, unable to speak like a partially educated person, self absorbed, law breaking, white trash, low talent, ego larger than his penis will ever be but we can share jeans?)
Here’s my theory: Insecure mommies are afraid of manly men. What does it say when we go out at youth functions and the 13 year old Oz man towers over the majority of the dads? What happened to the set of women behind me that decided they need small, croc wearing husbands (ya, I had to get my hate for those things in there too;) ? The mom’s are so small, their size 0 jeans are baggy on them and the only thing giving them some bulk are their huge, knee length expensive boots. Seriously. We have an entire generation of women who are afraid of size, both for themselves and their husbands. I literally have heard some wives of men I train say something to the effect that they don’t think it’s healthy to get a lot of mass or muscles. FOK!
But here’s where the beeber fever comes in. These mommies also do not want their daughters admiring big, strong 7th graders who are almost ready to shave and are already filling out their gym shorts. OH NO! Not my baby girl! Those boys are too “manly” already to I’m going to steer her to the little boy who someone told him he could sing and he’ll probably never have enough testosterone flowing to actually need to shave so he’s safe for my girl to love. And then they buy his shit, and by shit I don’t mean stuff, I mean the feces that encompasses his energy. But he’s small, and non-threatening. Because if mommy is afraid of manly men, then daughter will be too. So they’ve made him a millionaire and encouraged his crap behavior (which ironically enough, even though I started this post last night, I just heard that he’s been arrested for DUI early this morning and kept throwing the F-bomb at the arresting officer. If ever there was an appropriate time for police brutality, this was it.)
But the 19 year old is what so many moms have encouraged their daughters to look for in a male (can’t say man, this punk is far from ever having the ability of becoming a man.) YourBad. Now what? Now that you’ve perpetuated the myth that this asshole is a completely appropriate first crush, and he’s telling cops to F*k off. Now what?
Does it take a strong woman to admire a strong alpha male? I don’t think so, but maybe a confident one. Do you know women who do not look for Alpha Males but for skinny, weak punks who treat the world as their individual port a pottie? Ask why. Really, do it. And no, I’m not saying that everyone should be the size of Bigg. But manly; alpha male; taking care of business; confident; runs their home; makes decisions; a leader; actually, THE leader. Good to others, has a beard (yes, had to get that one in there too;) Not a maniac who thinks screaming and swearing their way through the aisles of life is the way to go. Just…a man.
But not a beeber. Nope.
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
tosabarbell 