Friday Jams: Gullible

Good Lord we’re gullible. Case in point, the media circus that IS Chris Kluwe. First off, well done Mr. Kluwe, rarely does a former NFL punter keep himself embedded in the daily news. Where’s that little clappy icon, he’s needed here. Anyways…well done. So here’s our little Chris Kluwe for dummies 40 second rundown…

Ok, SO, Chris Kluwe feels strongly that homosexuals should be allowed to marry. Cool. No worries, he has a right to speak on his beliefs. He gained a large following cuz people who knew nothing about Chris Kluwe said “Oh heyyyyyy, you like gay marriage and talked about it in public, you’re so cool and brave and courageous. We love youuuuuu even though we know nothing else about youuuuu” and Chris Kluwe was all ‘yaaaaa man, I’m a brave muthafucker, speaking out on gay rights and all but I’m not a very good punter anymore so I’m looking for a new role for the future and y’all are buying into it so heyyyyyy guys thanks!’ 

And those of us who are all, ‘Uh, you’re a football player, a punter at that. You should punt the ball cuz the only relevance you have in our lives is on Sunday and whether or not you punt well. Don’t care about your personal beliefs cuz I’m not a sucker who will buy into your scam just cuz you’re speaking out on an issue that many of us just  LIVE our daily lives by supporting and shut the fuck up about it’ were all, srsly dude, STFU and play ball.

But then Kluwe got cut from the Vikings (NO stupid people, they don’t renegotiate a less than average punter’s contract. They fire him. Cuz there’s a line of punters behind him who will come play better for less money.) DUH!

And then Kluwe was all, “hey you big bigoted Vikings coaches and owners,  you fired me cuz I’m for gay marriage.” And the rest of the reasonable world was all, “No, fucknutt, they fired you for the same reason the Raiders did. You weren’t good.” 

So ya, there ya go. But in honor of all you low knowledge gullible people who actually know absolutely nothing about whether Chris Kluwe is really a stand up guy in real life other than speaking out on a highly politicized charged topic…The Flatliners, Gullible…eh?

The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.

Philip K. Dick

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World’s Strongest Flop

We’ve been trying to catch footage of the World’s Strongest Man television show as we could this last week or so. Had we been on the ball we would have TiVo’d it. Turns out we didn’t miss a whole lot. Not for lack of efforts of the competitors but for complete lack of giving a shit by those editing the contest down for CBSsports.

A couple of years ago, Bigg explained the concept of the World’s Strongest Man to me. In the last handful of years, the contest has become a television show first and foremost, a strength contest second. Though it is the World championship of Strongman, the main focus is how it looks on the television. Care of it’s athletes and conditions are low priority on the totem pole (my interpretation, not Bigg’s so if anyone reads this and wants to get pissy with Matt, forget it. My blog, my opinion.)

This year’s contest, uhh excuse me, television shooting is a perfect example of this. Although athletes and loved ones are strictly forbidden to comment on any results coming out of prelims or even the finals, enough peeps are there to spill the beans on the Sugden forum to keep us all posted. So we know what’s going on. So why the secrecy? It’s the WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIP of Strongman! Why do we NOT want people to know how it’s going…who’s excelled and broken world records…who’s out due to injury? FOK! We already know what’s happening, duh! For FOUR fucking months we’ve known that Brian Shaw is the standing World’s Strongest Man…but now we really know because he was finally “permitted” (again, my word) to announce it after the television show announced it. DUH!!!!!! FOK! By the way, Ironmind posted it back in August…way to ruin the surprise…heh.

Also, word coming out of China by those attending was that conditions were absolute shit. Strongman requiring IV fluids after day one due to sickness from the food (not to mention the oven type conditions of China.) I don’t remember which one was doing this but rumor had it that one Strongman was only eating Snicker bars to avoid the food poisoning everyone was enjoying. My comment to one of Lauren Holland’s (whom I don’t know but keeps me completely entertained on the Facebook and given an opportunity I’d really like to go drink with her at this Crush spot they seem to enjoy) posts lamenting about the food and conditions was that I would go ahead and burn every bridge available screaming about the shit care the athletes received. So kudo’s to all of you ladies who watched your Strongman wither away and compete at their very best in these conditions. You’re better than I.

Anyway…back to World Champion Brian Shaw.

For nearly four months he could have (not saying he would have but he appears to be a pretty smart man so I’m going to guess that he would have) been promoting himself and gaining further opportunities (remember the garbage bag commercial, that made me lulz) based on earning his second World championship. But we all were good little boys and girls and pretended while watching the tv show that we didn’t know who won. Well, not me but I’ve never claimed to be a good girl.

But okay, I’ll play along. I’ll wait four months for the television show where I get to view the best of the best in action. We got to see our fav Dutchie competitor Alex Moonen in two prelim events. Yeah! We caught the second half of Loz’s group and he was already injured from the squat event so we didn’t get to see him at all. We caught the Viking, Bjorn, kick ass at his first World’s. We caught other, brief (very brief), events that were fun but at the end of the day left me wondering where the rest of the contest footage went? We did, after all, wait months and months for this. After all.

But hey, the Finals are coming and they must be spectacular. Right??!!

Uhhhhh, no. Not even close.

One hour. One measly hour. Of that hour, there were at least 20 minutes of commercial. Of the remaining time, there were promo shots, interviews, and pre-event set up. I’m only guessing here but feel confident that actual event time was less than 20 minutes. Soooooo, we waited nearly four months for…20 minutes of footage. As I read what the Brit’s were watching on their finals, I kept thinking ”WTF!? I don’t see any of this!’ Well, it turns out because we just don’t get to see it.

And another thing…

I’ve hesitated saying anything about the passing of Strongman Mike Jenkins. I didn’t know him. Matt had never met him. It’s too personal for those who know and love him and miss him terribly. His death has shaken me up due to loving a Strongman, even competing at a different level than what Mike Jenkins and his counterparts do. These are big men. They put a tremendous amount of stress on their bodies. It’s scary. But the passing of one of the World’s greatest deserves a tribute that does Strongman proud. Did that happen? I don’t know. I’ve seen a few comments from across the pond that they saw something but if it was done  for our version of editing, we completely missed it. But we were watching. But we missed it.

That alone makes this television show the World’s Strongest Flop. Congratulations…you suck. You have failed to showcase the hard work, dedication, blood sweat and tears these men work all year for in efforts to succeed at your television show. Fok off. I know, I know…I’ve been completely spoiled by attending a couple of the Champions League Strongman events. My observation of how Ilkka and Marcel take care of the athletes is that everything is top notch. I was fortunate to watch while they put on a LIVE television event of the World Log Lift Championships and STILL managed to take care of the men. Huh. But ya, I’m spoiled.

We just watched a few minutes of the IFSA 2007 World Championships that Bigg was fortunate to be part of. After the athlete introductions guess what the next shot showed? The beginning of the deadlift event. Oh I see! So competition WAS important at one time. Good to know! Awesome.

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Christian D. Larson

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Postponement

The Bigg man and Oz had so much fun last New Year’s Day doing the Polar Bear plunge into  42 degree Lake Michigan that they’ve decided to do it again this year!

But they’ve postponed it until July. Stay tuned for pics.

Happy New Year!!

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Mark Twain

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Another One Bites The Dust

2013 has been a pretty full year over here. To list so many of the highlights would be a bit obnoxious. Needless to say, it’s been a good one.

But not all. As life tends to do, it’ll shine your weaknesses right in your face until you finally come to terms with the fact that you’re not perfect. What a bitch, eh? If you’ve hung out here a while, you have seen some of our tough patches. That’s okay. We’re human, and like I said before, I have a blog…I don’t keep stuff inside. Heh. Lucky for me my Bigg guy is cool with that.

But all in all, as of 11:59pm tonight, I can look life square in the face and give ‘er a wink. We’ve made it. Those I love the bestest are still going strong. Yes, there are a few in danger right now, that is always on the forefront of my mind. I want their demons to go away and leave them to be the very best they can be. But as long as they wake up in the morning, there’s a fighting chance. I start and end every day with that thought. Just make it through the night, please.

I am so very thankful for so many of you. My dear friends here in Cheese and Beersville who quickly embedded themselves into our hearts. My Highland Games peeps who have given me so much; knowledge, laughter, perspective, and hangovers. All of our local training peeps that I get to see here and there when I venture out of the garage. All of your good, strong energy will propel us to an even better year starting tomorrow. All of our strong friends who we only get to see on the Facebook when we’re not actually at a competition, from coast to coast and across the pond…we’re so thankful for you and are sending out strong wishes for as successful year for you and we’re hoping to have here. Those of you who are walking tough paths right now and keep working and growing through it, just keep walking, the light gets brighter as  you go.

We’ve been tremendously blessed, and we know it. We live a somewhat charmed life over here. The opportunities we have for 2014 are beyond what I would have ever dreamed for myself.  We’ll get to kick it off in Brooklyn in a few weeks with two of my dearest friends Paulie and Becca (AoD!) that will include lifting, drinking Manhatten’s, and enjoying some awesome Brooklyn eats. But mostly just being with good friends…can’t wait!!!

Thanks to all of you for reading, even when you disagree. I’m cool with that. Just know that whenever I DO go off the deep end, I’m probably not talking to you. But maybe I am…tricky eh? Special thanks go to my family, the Z’s, the Oz man and Dan. Much of what I’ve been able to do this year is because of your support.

But most of all, my Bigg guy. The fiance’ (what a dorky word.) He’s the captain of the ship over here and has steered us in the direction that will give us the best chance of success we can have. Here’s to keepin’ it classy for another year baby…

 

The reason we’re successful, darling? My overall charisma, of course.

Freddie Mercury

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