The Love of Books

I’ve always loved to read. I have my mom to thank for that. She read books to me far better than I ever did to my kids. Oh sure, we had story time and they had their favorite night night books and car books but they don’t have a love for stories like I did. If I had my way, my mom would read me an entire Nancy Drew or Little House on the Prairie book every night. When I got old enough to read them myself, I’d do the whole, flashlight under the covers to keep reading for hours thing. In the first grade, I got in trouble for finishing our semester paper reading book in the first week. Yes, in trouble. People don’t ever need to wonder why I’m harsh on the stupid teachers.

When I got older and we’d head up north to Grand Rapids to the cabin with no television, a transistor radio, and nature to entertain us, books were even more important. My mom and I decided that we were going to have a contest to see who could read the most books for the summer. I remember I read 21 but she still probably beat me. Now at nearly a book a day, these things had to be interesting. There’s only so many Judy Blume books available and after a while, the Harlequin romance novels all had the exact same stupid story where the woman appeared so weak that she had to be saved by some stupid, but rich, man. Meh.

Then I found Tom Clancy and The Hunt for Red October.

I was hooked. I went on a Clancy streak that, if it were written in the 80’s and 90’s, I’d read it. He opened up an entire new world for me that pushed me to think of other things besides the best parties and the next Journey concert. There was a big bad dangerous world out there and even sometimes our government may have not been the man in white we’d always like to believe we were. He brought strategy, and weapons, and Jack Ryan, and blurred lines, and a “not always a happy ending” that I didn’t know about reading other books.

His style of writing opened me up to other authors who’s mystery or techno-thriller military dramas brought me into adulthood and demand a higher quality when paying for entertainment whether it be books or movies. By the way, I didn’t think Alec Baldwin was a horrible Jack Ryan, but you can’t compare when you’re up against Han Solo. Word.

I was sad when I heard the news Wednesday that he had died. Not crying sad, but you know, wispy sad in that way where you know someone who had a bigger talent and impact than yourself is no longer walking the earth. RIP Tom Clancy.

I stopped reading Clancy in the past ten or so years. No idea why. Maybe three kids and a busy schedule, probably. That changes now. I think I’ll download a few and grab one paperback for the long plane ride to Lithuania in a couple weeks.

I have no idea what his personal life was about, how he died, or if he was a happy man or not. All I know is that he was able to use his experience and intelligence and weave a very good tale. And for that I’m thankful.

Fundamentally, I think of myself as a storyteller, not a writer.

Tom Clancy

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Motivation

I was asked an interesting question last week during a training session. We were talking about the silliness of globo gyms but also how the social aspect of a gym can be nice when out of the blue, I’m asked if seeing really fit women at the gym are a motivator for me?

Huh. I’ve never thought of it before. First off, “fit” has evolved into a bastardized term. It has been thrown around so often in so many different groups that it has ceased to have real meaning. If you are a marathon runner, are you fit? If you are the Strongest man in the world, are you fit? If you do high intensity workouts 7 days a week and have dieted down to the extreme that you no longer get your periods but look awesome in lululemon’s, are you fit? See? Fit means shit. And in all actuality, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone even resembling “fit” in a globo gym.

Of course my answer was quick, what other people do or look like does not motivate me. I want to be as strong as I can, as conditioned as I can, and in the case of the fringe sport I’m participating in, I want to be the best that I can. Once I start comparing myself to others, I dismiss all the hard work I’m doing to be a better me. Nope. Not going there. To chase someone else’s journey puts me in immediate failsville. I could say I wish I threw the hammer further (hate that thing) but to say I wish I threw the hammer further like Kristi Scott? Uhhhhh, not gonna happen. I just put myself in the “can’t” column which means I’ve failed before I even stepped into the circle. No thanks. Now, I WHILL say that I wish I threw the hammer with Kristi’s smooth technique. That’s something I can actively pursue, better mechanics. Improving the mechanics of all the Games events to throw further is a great motivator, because it will directly impact me.

Something else occurred to me on Saturday regarding motivation. We took in the nephew’s soccer game, Oz’s football game, and back to the nephew’s flag football game all in one gorgeous fall morning. We were visitors at Oscar’s game so we got the old, run down, rickity bleachers. That’s fine, whatev. I hate bleachers to begin with and no matter how nice they are have about a 12 minute time limit before my back is hurting and no, it’s not an age thing, I’ve always hated them. But I was in near panic attack mode on Saturday when many of the Grandma and Grandpa’s were navigating the wide, high steps. There were so many near tumbles that I pictured aged bodies strewn all over all crying, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Stressful.

At the flag football game, there were at least two instances where a grandma was stuck in one of those portable lawn chairs that fold up and don’t have a hard back. They didn’t have enough strength to push up and allow the person on each side to pull them up. Yikes. Motivator number one. Barring a catastrophic accident, I never want to be so weak that I can’t get out of a chair…unless I’m like, 104 and my 80 year old twins put me in one of those stupid portable lawn chairs for their own entertainment to see me try to wiggle my way out of there.

I guess I’ve always been a self motivator, that’s a plus AND a minus. A minus in when I’m not motivated, I don’t look outside for other circumstances or people to put that spark back in me. Also, when I begin to get unmotivated and I have someone or something adding negative influence, I completely withdraw. I’ve worked for boss’ before who believed that public humiliation or screaming would motivate me to do better. Nope. Done. Not only am I not motivated, I’m on my way out no matter how long it takes to get there. I’ve learned the hard way that I don’t do well in those circumstances. Being a self motivator is a plus in many circumstances though and I’m thankful for it. When I stumble, I know I’m almost on the right track and can adjust to get there quickly (see Gut Check.) I can stay focused on what works for me and not be swayed by others and program jump every 8 weeks trying out the new big thing. (By the way? Nothing is new in the strength world.) I can (mostly) stay positive and believe in the hard work I put in the gym and in practice to know it will  pay off in some way in the future.

And I’ll climb those rickity bleachers, for as long as I can.

On that note, here’s some major inspiration…

86. I can’t do that at 46. I have 40 years to learn.

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.

Babe Ruth

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Verklempt

So often at these Highland Games (read: always) we are busy throwing and miss the rest of the Highlander activities. These springy dancers, some of which are Heavy Athletics competitor’s kiddos:

Yup. Haven’t taken in even one dance.

The Clan tents?

Nope. Busy throwing. Oz loves the Clan tents and will spend hours talking to them so at least there’s that.

And the Bagpipes, ahhhhhh, the bagpipes. At this past June’s Milwaukee games, we actually knew people who’s Pipe band was performing and surely we’d be done by 5:00 pm to watch them all  parade into the stadium! You guessed it, missed it. We were still throwing Caber and were a good 30 minutes away from beginning the WOB.

So when I was asked on Friday to grab my guys and head over to Lake Forest for the Bagpipes and Bonfire event, I thought maybe I’d finally be able to see some pipes in action. And oh boy, did I ever!

But before the pipes, were these guys…

Ya, that would be kilted jumpers. It was really quite awesome. Then came the pipe bands, a total of four I believe. The quick snapshot of them coming around to the field with dancing shadows on Potawatomi land honestly made my heart swell. To be able to stand there, with people who have come to mean much to me, my Bigg and Oz and just take this in was quite amazing and I quickly became verklempt.  (I like the older couple in the foreground of the shot. I hope Bigg and I look like that someday.)

We enjoyed more music, and Scotch!  Thanks to Craig Morehead and his more than generous sharing of the bottle of Aberlour 18 he just brought back from Scotland. Mmmmmm Mmmmmm good. Laughs. We also enjoyed lots of laughs. We had to move back after the bonfire was lit, it was a bit fiery…

I was fading and knew goodbyes were moments away and there I went again, verklempt. Everyone in this crew has been so welcoming, so friendly, so crazy and I realized that I’ve taken for granted seeing them every month since last March, pretty much. Not liking goodbyes to begin with (too many of them when I was too young to remember) I jumped up, we packed up the car and started our rounds of hugs. I was okay until I got to Jason. See, I wouldn’t be nearly the thrower I was this season without his help and that he so freely gives his time and expertise and friendship had me a bit choked up. Good thing it was dark. heh. Saying thank you seems too small. Maybe if I win the lottery or something I’ll get he and Jane a half track (that was Oz’s idea.) That seems a bit more on scale with how thankful I am.

I have a chance to throw one more time this coming weekend with a whole new crew and I’m looking forward to meeting new folks and getting a practice in with the 21# “heavy” weight I’ll be throwing more next year in the Master’s group. But these guys? They’re tops. I’m thankful to Kevin Neis for the invite, throwing with this group has been a highlight of the year and I’ll miss ’em for sure…

.I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: ‘O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.’ And God granted it.

Voltaire

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Monday Bacon: Gut Check

I’ve been doing a better job at tracking my food this month…up until last week. I dunno why. Busy? Lazy? Tired of feeling high maintenance about tracking my food? Wanting to eat like crap and not be accountable for it? There ya go, we have a winner! Sometimes a big part of me wants to just eat like crap. Millions of Americans do it after all, why can’t I? Well, we all know the answer to that. Cuz we train, we compete, we walk a different walk. I guess.

The nice thing about tosa is that when I want to add a big dose of sugar to my diet? I’ve got Cranky Al’s right down the street. Now, there are tons of folks that can run and get a Cranky donut and be just fine about it. Not me. Once I get that sugar, I want more. A bite of a donut turns into half a donut. Half turns into two and so on. Not good. If I could just go get my Cranky’s fix and walk away for another season, I’d be able to pull this sugar thing off. But that’s not how I’m wired.

So towards the end of the week, too much sugar; too much hooch; too much coffee and not enough water and protein and veggies all combined for one gut wrenching day…literally. Saturday was normal enough until we got home from a burger and bloody’s after some youth sports and shortly after, I was down for the count. Hours later I was on the Google looking up every horrible disease that could cause my intense pain and figured that I had hours to live. Ya, I know. Drama much?

Turns out that too much of this…

and this…

…made me feel like this:

By nine o’clock, I was starting to get worried that I’d have to bail out on the Highland Games I’d committed to on Sunday in nearby Lake Forest, Il. I’d already missed a fun party Saturday night watching The Blob with some new friends, I didn’t want to miss a Games.

Lucky for me, I woke up feeling a bit sore from so much cramping; hungy from not eating the rest of the day; but good enough to head out to the Games.

But it was a good gut check by my body letting me know that actually???? We can’t eat like that. So time to dial back in and make a few further changes.

Less coffee in the morning. Instead of a full French Press, I’ll use my smaller one for 1 1/2 cups of coffee instead of 4-5. More water. All day. Less booze at night. Night night drinkies sneak up on me and I have to start paying closer attention. One glass of wine, a taste of the awesome Scotch prize I got this weekend, a nip of my Jaloviina since Bigg already has a return trip planned to that neck of the woods and I don’t need to ration my cut Brandy. Back to my 2-3 pound chicken cook ups so I have lots of scrumptious protein ready to go and I don’t need to grab junk because I’m hungy but don’t have time to make something, etc.

I’m feeling better already; had a great games yesterday with some of my most favorite people, and met some new friends. I’m enjoying my second half cup of coffee and have already had more water than I probably drank all Friday and Saturday. I could get hard on myself, telling me that I know better; I should be a better example; I should have more control…but I don’t think we’ll go there today.

I do okay. I stumble, realize it, adjust, and move on. Word.

Life isn’t about algebra and geometry. Learning by making mistakes and not duplicating them is what life is about.

Lindsay Fox

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